recently been feeling kind of spaced out, stretched thin and lonely.
spaced out
perhaps it’s the busy life I’m leading now. how I wish
for school to start again. then again, I’ll need to
make sure I don’t overload myself like I did last semester. and
I think I’d have to admit that I was kind of distracted for the entire sem, such that it seemed to be all over quite fast. hopefully those distractions won’t stay around for the next sem (next year).
this semester really sucked. basically nothing went
right in my life. I wanted to think of it as a bad year, but then again the
first semester was good. so it’s down to the second
half of the year. I’ll want to put things right next year. hopefully
a brand new change of environment in
stretched thin
probably I’ve been spreading myself out too thin for the past semester, what
with tuitions and band practices. time to cut on the
tuitions and save up money since I won’t be able to splurge as much. anyway two students have graduated, so they’ve naturally cut
themselves down. guess I’d just have to start
rejecting students or pass them on. somehow I realised
I’m a full time student first and foremost, so just possibly that should be my
priority?
lonely
as I was waiting for the bus on the way home just now, I suddenly felt
very lonely. standing at a bus stop in orchard, seeing
the cars and buses whiz by, alone. haven’t felt like
that in a long time, probably because I’m usually too busy and tired, or else
with friends. then I realise I’m somehow starting to
lose touch with my close friends. personal touch. and thus I don’t count talking on icq
personal touch. yes, there’s still the occasional
dinner and meet up, but that’s what it is – occasional. most
times I realise I just go home and sleep. and when I started
realising that I started to panic as well. I started thinking I might just lose
all my friends. I try to console myself that they are busy, that everyone has
to get on with their own lives. but we were sharing
the same kinds of lives in the past. it’s just that
they’re going on their lives without me now. so much
for friends? heh. or am I too cynical? I don’t know.
I just wanna
drink.
dejectium out
0105
hrs gmt +8