yesterday was cindy’s 6th
anniversary. went to pay my respects together with yn. it really feels weird when you
actually have a friend to whom you pay respects to. her
photo stuck onto that marble plaque; name, birthdate,
deathdate engraved in gold.
along the way, yn and I
talked about the people who have gone to pay their respects to her over the
years. and we realised this
number’s dwindling. it’s good in a way that people are
forgetting, or letting go. but I won’t forget her, cos she’s played a really huge part in making me the person
I am today, like a mentor. shan’t elaborate further,
but she’s really someone I hold dear within. even
though we’re kinda distanced having not communicated
for the past 6 years… and more to come. yet as yn and
I both said, we realised we’ve taken to talking to
her more, telling her our thoughts whenever we feel like it, and not save up
all our thoughts only to release that deluge only when we visited her. perhaps it’s part of growing up. and thus, instead of us
standing motionless and wordless in front of her plaque for half an hour as we
used to do, we merely cleared off some dust, voiced some thoughts aloud, and
got on our way again. only spent 30 minutes there this
time.
we were also saying, it’s nice to know that someone’s up
there watching over you. you know you’re blessed with
someone up there looking out for you. then deep inside
me, I thought, I could’ve done without that. I’d much rather prefer it had she
stuck to this earth, and be there physically with us. but
well, since she’s taken that choice long long ago,
there’s nothing much we can do about that now. but I
must always tell anyone who contemplates it,
doing it may solve your problems, as
grace wrote really nicely “a permanent way to solve your temporary problems”,
you cause immense hurt and grief to all around you, no matter how much they can
accept it in the far future.
then took this bus, 166, that took us from ang
mo kio to clementi. tell you, that’s a real pain-in-the-ass mistake. took us about 2 hours. and at the
1½ hour mark we were still at CITY HALL,
of all places! so basically this bus leads you on a
merry-go-round from ang mo kio,
to thomson, to bukit merah, to the city, to chinatown,
to bukit timah, to buona vista, to
dejectium out
1530 hrs gmt +8