she doesn’t know

she doesn’t know…

…that I’ve carried the torch for her for four long years already

…that it wasn’t a coincidence that we took the same bus to school

…that I’ve copied down every single page from her that I can’t store in my pager

…that I’m still keeping my pager even though she’s the only one who pages me

…that I check my pager numerous times a day hoping for her page

…that I look forward to talking to her on weekend book-outs

…how torturous it was to wish the two of them the best

…that I brought her photo with me wherever I went before NS

…how much I look forward to the songs she leaves in my voicemail

…how much I think about her all the time

…how impossible it is for me to give up hope…

…how agonized I’m feeling now…………………

when will you know?

…/never/…

dejectium out

30 september 2001

1228 hrs GMT +8