urrgh. sian.
this will be my last entry for the next 3
weeks, going overseas for training, the codename of which I accidentally divulged the previous entry (it’s gone now,
hehe)
feeling damn low morale now. thinking it’s one
of my last nites where I can feel comfortable, sleep whenever I want, legs not
tired, feeling squeaky clean, showering whenever I want…
last nite of freedom. will be at the airport in
another 26 hours. have to make full use of my time.
hai. continued my efforts to try to forget. but
still…
she left a voicemail on wednesday despite my
telling her that I’ve cancelled my pager. (it’s still not cancelled yet –
inefficiency) but I only noticed the page on friday. too late. voicemail
erased. frantically tried to listen to it, but couldn’t. kept on telling myself
that’s part of the forgetting process. too hard.
I’ve been telling myself the whole nite to call
her tomorrow nite, just before I leave. don’t know why. just have to talk to
her, maybe just worried that should anything happen in roc I would at least
have talked to her.
things are more or less settled. stuff packed.
insurance bought. ($$ ouch $$) gone out with friends over the weekend. enjoyed
my last weekend. things should be fine over there despite the tough training,
hoping to be back in one fine piece.
but, if anything unlucky or bad should happen,
someone please help me tell her.
tell her I still love her.
dejectium out
25 november
2001
2334 hrs gmt
+8