finally had time to move away from the egocentric “only-I-have-problems” mood to appreciate the suffering that’s going on around me. not at their expenses of course. but it allows me to show myself, and even others, how fortunate we ourselves each are. let’s begin, not in any particular order of gravity…

 

one is currently helping her boyfriend recover from thyroid cancer (mind you, not thyroid problems like hyper- or hypothyroid, but the C word itself), in the midst of juggling four tuition students, and part time work on top of a busy university life to come. she also comes from a broken family, one year ago still pretty happy, until her dad helped himself to a china mistress. and how did they find out? the said mistress got pregnant and dad had to admit it. and what better news to come at the same time except to find that her brother himself got his girlfriend pregnant? and he’s my age. just hope things go well.

 

one’s just had his grandfather pass away, and was present at his final operating table by virtue of being a medical student, and even helped stitch his grandfather up. and also by virtue of being a medical student, he could tell what went wrong and what’s screwed up with the medical system here. in the background humming is also this problem of unrequited love over a girl who he hasn’t seen for about a year. and he failed two “modules” in total not because he’s stupid, but because he probably can’t concentrate on his studies. just hope things go well.

 

one’s just had to rush home early because “my house is under siege!” she received a message from home that five aunties suddenly descended upon her home. when asked what’s so amazing about that, she says that she hasn’t ever seen them before. then she says they’re her father’s sisters. I get even more puzzled: what’s that got to do with the “siege”? then she makes everything seem so much clearer by simply saying “oh… I don’t live with my dad.” just hope things go well.

 

one’s just had her grandfather pass away, but she herself said she wasn’t very close to him but expecting it anyway. but still a loss is a loss I guess, and something to grief over, as much as one can deny. at the same time she probably has a screwed-up confused love life, and personifies it in her confused exterior in an effort to mask that confusion. the gung-ho outlook betrays the little girl i-still-need-some-love-and-care look once in a while. she’s got it all; good-looking, great personality, smart, well-to-do, and pretty much knows it, but denies herself. just hope things go well.

 

one seems to have tremendous problems with his love life too, but for some reason doesn’t find it comfortable to share. and keeps himself tremendously busy in the meantime in order to phase those problems to the back of his head. I don’t understand why someone as qualified as him has so much problems, but that’s probably because I don’t know what’s happening at all. but I respect that; everyone needs his/her privacy, and I don’t intend to budge in. just hope things go well.

 

one recently failed all her mid-year exams, but is pretty much in denial because her screwed-up college deludes her students by moderating everything ten marks upwards. she knows what’s wrong with her life and how things should actually be like, but doesn’t do anything about it because she is just too lazy. and not interested. until it’s probably too late. and never learns her lessons in order not to repeat the same mistakes, and henceforth, the same suffering. she just had an acquaintance of her age pass away after a two-year-plus battle with brain cancer. just hope things go well.

 

********************************* ************************************ ******************************************

 

I hope no one tries to guess who each of this are, although in the low probability that you read this, you might be able to recognise yourselves. I really care for everyone here in this list, and I believe all these problems are very private ones that shouldn’t be open to anyone else. yet I posted this, thankfully for the anonymity that this scribe site provides, also to let people who read this know that if you are down over problems you’re facing, there’s always someone facing the same, if not worse, problems as you are facing.

 

that’s not to say that we’re being sadistic – “if I’m not happy, at least someone else isn’t too” – that’s very wrong. my point is, all the above-mentioned people still lead pretty normal lives. that means if everyone here still can cope with their problems (and everyone has problems… duh), YOU out there can too. so can I, as a matter of fact.

 

whoa. suddenly I have turned preacher instead of complainant. guess it just shows that my optimistic outlook this year has taken full effect. I feel happy, happy that this outlook spread to others around me too, and happy that this happy outlook allows me to say things to help people who don’t see things in that optimistic a way that I do.

 

oh… and in case you’re wondering, I haven’t gone all preachy and “God-loves-you”-ey. our fates are still in our hands ultimately (sorry to devout christians), and I liked something that I told a friend (and yeah I made it up myself!! Rephrased here):

 

                        I always never believed it when people told me time heals all wounds. But after going through intense pain of suffering

            and betrayal and everything else, I realised that time does, it really does, heal all wounds, even if you never feel it does.

 

                        Wait a minute. I think I was wrong. You’re right.

 

                        Time doesn’t heal all wounds.

 

                        Good friends do.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

remember dejectium said this here. J

wishing happiness to everyone!

 

dejectium out

29 july 2004

0331 hrs gmt +8

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