met her online today. couldn't take it no more. hecked my "invisiible" status, and chatted with her for a while. noticed a really funny trend.

previously when i chatted online with her, answers tended to be curt and monosyllabic. now they're peppered with comments and questions, messages that i had to reply to. funny how things go.

but anyway that isn't the point. feel damn terrible now. don't know why. maybe it's because the absence of contact with her over the past two weeks have been a welcome breather for me. a chance for me to get on with life. but now, i just became a sucker for pain all over again.

yet i know i treasure her as a friend, and i can't bear to sever all contact with her. so i'll have to slowly ease myself back, gingerly, minimising the cutting into the heart. don't know how i'm going to do that, but i jolly well have to.

just hafta see how things go.

short entry for today. got tuition tomorrow and meeting up with my longest friend ever – a friend whom I can’t even remember when I first met him, only that it’s before kindergarten. =p

looking forward.

dejectium out

25 may 2003

0047 hrs gmt +8

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