27 minutes 07 seconds

 

just needed to note that down… I’ve a feeling I’d even plan the whole schedule sometime along the length of this entry.

 

think this was the most productive day I’ve had in a very very long time. finished the entire macroeconomic section of the bloody 770-page text. but it’s also one of the most miserable days too I think. whole day spent mugging. with reading the newspapers as recreation. which doesn’t amount to much recreation too anyway cos it’s still reading… but anyway I digress.

 

and it’s out of this productiveness that I find that I should reward myself by blogging a little bit. ok maybe more than a little bit.

 

sometimes I yearn for the canny (strangely, far from the opposite of uncanny) nature of raon’s blog (and it doesn’t mean from a can too). the witty sarcastic digs at society… which I interpret it to be at least. then I think that too much parallateral similarities don’t exactly amount to much originality, so I abandon that desire. not that I exactly have the aptitude for that.

 

then I sometimes think of the euphemism-filled logs of grace (that wasn’t meant to be an insult J). but I somehow feel readers won’t be too pleased with having to propel a staggering tome of lexicology while endeavouring to manoeuvre the control device that directs the traffic inclination of the pointer on their screens.

 

so I decide to stick to my sad style. a tad arcane sometimes. but nevertheless my sanctum. (hey warcraft players: I used the words arcane and sanctum consecutively in a meaningful sentence!!!)

 

I digress again. heh.

 

the week-long study break’s been rejuvenating to the soul. largely I guess. though still injurious sometimes. last saturday spent on parties, sunday spent on shifting out of hostel. then come monday (which happens to be exactly one week from the start of the exam). spent that day organising all my notes and figuring out what I have to study. tuesday spent studying out at parkway starbucks. which is actually a place with dung music. (I don’t wish to use shit). ok shitty music. I mean, it’s good for letting one’s frustrations go, but the last kind of music I need to hear when I’m trying to concentrate on studying is rabid jazz (read boogie. boogie with lots of growls and bloodcurdling screams as improvisation, however much they deserve to be appreciated). add to that the emotional stress of scampering competitively for the cushioned sofa seats that are in scarce supply (can’t blame me for using economic terms: refer to 770-page textbook Taylor: Economics (2001)). overall quite an unnerving educational experience.

 

have always reiterated that I don’t study well outside. too much distraction – the littlest noise distracts me. not to mention that silky-haired girl with fabulous legs who walks in once in a blue moon. but at least it’s better than doing nothing at home. (maths: 0.0001 is still > 0)

 

and so I spend monday and tuesday. anyway if you’re bored now you can leave; I just feel that little bit of attitude. heh. go elsewhere if you’re bored, cos I’m going on to wednesday thursday and friday.

 

spent wednesday afternoon watching my alma mater college band rehearsing for their competition. must say that they definitely have the pedigree, and quality to go on to rule the college band scene. but work needs to be done on the tidiness of the woodwinds. incorrigibly loud though. heh. then had to fly off to tutor. and boy he does live damn f***ing far away. took me one and a half hours, ended up half-an-hour late. and that’s another draining day. (ooh I didn’t mention any studying right? well I didn’t). ooh… but I met her friend on the bus there. don’t even know her name, but we exchanged smiles. and then the person beside her got off the bus. so had not much of choice but to sit down beside her friend and exchange small talk. turned out she’s quite friendly and managed to talk quite a bit. heh. chance to score points with her friends. bastard me.

 

thursday spent studying. more out of guilt cos I didn’t do anything on wednesday. and so off I went to singpost coffee bean to study. much nicer music. soft jazz, conducive to studying. stayed there till about 7 pm to study. she called. heard her voice for a few seconds. high nevertheless. heh. then went back for dinner. another unproductive day made seemingly productive under the premise of studying out. well, unproductive relative to the productivity I can generate with the same amount of time spent on intensive study at home.

 

then suddenly night came, around 2230. a call from a good friend. boyfriend problems. went out to meet her at east coast park. where she wanted to drink. splurged over fifty bucks on drinks again. haiz. san miguel’s not bad though. talked for ages, then walked her home. reached home around 0300. conked out on bed after a quick shower.

 

there goes my plan to wake up early the next morning. woke up around 12 noon. and friday spent trying to study. finished one chapter. went back to sleep. heh. woke up and tried to continue. ok progress. then the friend called again. problems haven’t abated, so went out to accompany her again about 9-ish. till about one. same thing, though we didn’t drink this time round. reached home, read through some more economics before going to sleep around three.

 

and then it’s today! most productive. brought on by the feeling of panic as the exams draw nearer I guess. and around 6 plus the friend messaged again, having worse problems with her boyfriend. but then I realised I hadn’t the time left. very guiltily had to say I couldn’t make it. but I really really wanted to be there. ego defense mechanism then set in. self-resolution. I told myself she had to solve the problems sometime, with or without me around. it’d probably be better for her to make her own decisions, and enable herself to grow stronger with each conflict resolution. pah. excuses. I’m not psyching myself successfully cos I still feel guilty. need help.

 

and so I’m here. after a run.

 

here’s the schedule! J

-          four laps of the neighbourhood park: 27 minutes 07 seconds (today 19 april 2003)                           approx 4.5 km

-          aimed timing for four laps: 25 minutes                                                                                                           approx 4.5 km

-          upon achievement of four laps in 25 minutes: 8 laps in 50 minutes (max allowable 60 min)                            approx 9.0 km

-          upon achievement of 8 laps in 50 minutes: 12 laps in 90 minutes max                                                 approx 13.5 km

-          upon achievement of 12 laps in 90 minutes: 16 laps in 120 minutes (2 hours) max.                          approx 18.0 km

-          then good to go for half-marathon! (to be achieved by september)                                                          approx 21.0 km

 

hope to be able to make this target. the feeling of finishing a half marathon definitely doesn’t match that of a full marathon, but I’d dare say it’s enough achievement for someone who struggled to finish his 2.4 in 16 minutes in college.

 

okie. for those who reached here I’m sorry to have bored you. but yeah, the word parallateral doesn’t exist. I made it up.

 

dejectium out

19 april 2003

2003 hrs gmt +8

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