yes. this site lives on. as
an alter ego to the life I’ve started elsewhere.
I’ve decided that too many people know
about this site, and I let this site’s updates lapse for a long while, hoping
that someone would forget it actually exists, so I can continue to write as I want.
haven’t the slightest idea why I chose tonight to revive this, but yeah. maybe because. just because.
***
x asked why I wasn’t able to share my pain,
my sorrow. I can’t tell. I really can’t. I really want to, and I’m really glad
she offered a listening ear. but it’s because she is
who she is, that’s why I can’t tell. perhaps someday
in future, when all this has blown over. will that day
come? I hope.
weather outlook: winds do not seem like they are about to abate. rain still heavily pouring.
perhaps one reason I couldn’t type just now was because I couldn’t see the
screen clearly through that salty screen?
in the meantime all I can do is to do selective observation. see things that please me, don’t see those that don’t. and carry on with this veneer-sheen life.
***
I stoned for a moment at the keyboard. I don’t
know why. perhaps it’s because I’ve already lost touch
with keying out depressing stuff. the words refusing
to flow. more adept at recounting the terribly mundane
details that currently flood my life. as usual, a
lecture tomorrow, where I have to carry out all my selective observation again.
and tire myself with all the effort to mask symptoms
of pain.
dejectium out
0236
hrs gmt +8
happy children’s day