was under orders to blog more…
so here’s more.
*wink*
somehow I feel I’m being sucked into this whirlwind of
neutrality. yep, exactly that… an anti-climax. whoever talks about a “whirlwind” of “neutrality”? you read this phrase first here. =)
ok let me explain that. I’m somehow feeling really really neutral, as in I don’t feel sad, don’t feel happy,
don’t feel anything. perhaps it’s the good and bad
things that are happening nowadays, and balancing themselves out. ah… the Principle of Conservation of Good and Bad Things. heh.
heh I’m
crapping. but guess this is not a bad thing… I might
just be close to attaining nirvana? haha.
right now I’m feeling really at peace with everything.
guess I’m going to be unaffected by a lot of things. just hope it doesn’t descend into apathy. I mean, I’m not
saying that I’m not caring about anything anymore, eg not caring about this saturday’s concert, not caring
about my studies. I do care, but somehow I feel raised, elevated to a level
just slightly above, where I know it’s good to do well,
and I know I’m going to try to do well. yet I feel
like I’m not gonna feel really high or anything if I do
well. yet I still want to. haha. such a paradox. I have
totally no idea what I’m saying.
did I say anything about reading colin
cheong’s novel “seventeen” on this site? if not, go read that. it’s a great
book. had a really fulfilling time reading it. was early to meet my friends at marine parade, so I decided
to go over to the library to further my interest and knowledge in singaporean literature. (that was
last tuesday). and so I came
across (yet!) another book by colin cheong. my idol =). was feeling
cold, so I took 3 books, scrammed, went to starbucks
to buy an earl grey, sat outside in the cool evening breeze and read from 5 to
7. that was just about the best feeling I’ve ever had,
absolute heaven. and the ending was so cool I almost
broke into tears after reading it. after recommending
it to many, (including her), I realised some people had actually read that book
before. in fact she
had read it before, and had cried upon reading it. but
anyway she cries easy. haha.
shan’t divulge more. just go
read it.
then went on to other books. the
new book “the advocate’s devil” by C M Woon was one helluva funny book. loved his wit.
though the ending was kinda abrupt, he more than made
up for it with his witty sarcastic remarks at society and people in general in
the book. gonna start on “heartland”
by Daren Shiau soon.
gosh I do sound like a bookworm after I read thru the
previous few paragraphs. ain’t I supposed to ramble
about neutrality? yeah the last two paragraphs didn’t
exactly touch on neutrality; far from it to be exact. I do still feel. at that moment. no more aftertaste I
guess.
right now as I’m writing, I see a couple walk across in
front of me, hand-in-hand. so sweet. really believe that all those who are in love should really appreciate
the now. the present. and
make sure they have a wonderful future to look forward to. there
must have been something good about the other person that made you like him/her
in the first place. unless that is no longer in
him/her, there’s no reason for things to change, no matter what the circumstances
are. guess that’s true love? I don’t know. I haven’t
the experience of being officially “in love” before. damn
embarrassment when I have to fill in psychology survey studies. Are you
attached? Were you attached before? and I have to
answer “no”. Single/Married/Attached/Divorced? and I have to scratch out all except single. not that I really hanker for the right to fill in otherwise
at all though, don’t get me wrong. but guess I’ll just
wait.
I’m getting better at that the longer
time goes on. just wait. =)
ooh… and in keeping with the nature of this entry…
I’ll wait neutrally. =)
dejectium out
1440 hrs gmt +8