really impressed with the kaleidoscope of background colours I’m starting to use to reflect my current moods.

 

anyway, I was suddenly inspired to write something about greenery, trees and stuff after walking along a path in school which was surrounded by forest on both sides, yet had a strong breeze blowing through. guess this will be the first non-lovelorn-sounding entry in a long long time, and perhaps the start of more to come? let’s just say that this is dedicated to those guys on the verge of entering service, unsure of what’s to come…

 

a calm, cool breeze sifting through the beautiful lush green leaves, perched atop the slope, hands relaxed on the railings (damn the unsightly manmade object too), I began reminiscing those days when green took up the integral part of my life. that was the first time that I felt so in one with nature, that I was able to appreciate landscape and the wonderful arbitrary sense of growth, that nevertheless culminated in an order out of randomness.

 

miss those days, when after missions, we were allowed to stand up, shrug off that shroud of camouflage, and take in the wonders of the land beneath us standing atop knolls. I vividly remember that wonderful experience of standing atop chih-niu-ling, struggling to stand erect against the strong wind, with the sun beating down albeit without any of its searing heat. looking down upon the vast city landscape of kaohsiung. just after a mission, it was great to stand up there, allowing the perspiration to dry. your neighbour beside you wouldn’t have been able to hear you if you shouted towards him, against the direction of the wind, such was the ferocity of it. “top of the world” will then just spring to mind. it’s a happy song. both sung by the wind, and sung by the mind.

 

then it was brunei. deep in the forests of temburong, where the jungle was so dense you could not see 20 feet in front of you, the greenery was still beautiful. this time round it lacked its vocal accompaniment – the wind. nevertheless the contours of the jungle took on different meanings of its own. the lush green forest parted for a foot-beaten path, trodden by thousands of feet, leading upslope, downslope, then upslope again. going up was such a bore, but the sense of achievement on reaching the top was always good, even though it can be tempered by the realisation of the next slope that climbed steeply up ahead. so up again we went, and up, and up and up. hunger pangs, thirst heightened. but justification came right at the top. for the green suddenly gave way to blue. almost as if Nature decided to change its colour filters, the rocks and slight mist at the summit culminated in a bluish-grey palate. such a beautiful change. huge rocks adorned the summit, and still green trees rose all around, such there we were still unable to see the lands around. yet, the trees didn’t seem so green anymore. it’s now greenish-bluish-grey. as if you’re looking at the world through coloured filters again.

 

it is here that we know we’ve gotten our reward – downslope for the rest of the journey. or so we thought. yes it was indeed a general downslope, since our ending point would be the river. yet nobody said there wouldn’t be a series of ups and downs along the way down. and so the same story continued. up, up, up, down, the occasional stumble, and up, up, up again. the monotony of climbing only to be broken by the colours all around. the brown of the viper we nearly held on to, the red of the poisonous flowers around, the blue of the occasional patches of sky, the yellow of the yellowed leaves. and of course the green. of trees around us, of our camouflage and jungle hats, of the envy in us when we heard through radio that the first group had made it to the ending point. not too bad – we were second. completed the whole course in three of five allotted days. waiting to receive that badge that we’ve sweated, bled, hungered, and thirsted for over 15 days.

 

it’s not so much about the old lie – dulce et decorum est / pro patria mori. for the latin-uninitiated it means it’s a sweet and honourable thing to die for your country. it’s always been the kind of trick question posed to unsuspecting recruits – are you willing to die for the country?

 

posers and hero-wannabes respond with an enthusiastic “yes!”, and the neutrals say “anything lor”. and those who don’t care, well, don’t care anyway. but the refute after that has always been a witty one:

 

“I won’t die for my country; I’ll make sure the other f**kers die for theirs.”

 

that’s optimism. and that’s what you need to bring into your new life for two-and-a-half years. not two-and-a-half-years’ worth of clean underwear, not two-and-a-half-years’ worth of snacks or anything. bring in optimism, preparedness to go through anything. and the thoughts that you have your loved ones, friends, family, all ready to welcome you home every weekend. and that you’re protecting them.

 

hope this helps salve that sense of impending doom enlistees out there are feeling now. what I’ve written might be criticised as glorifying ns, the bane of all male teenagers in their prime. but hey, what’s there to stop us from deriving some optimism and happiness from something that so many of us dread? it will be a wonderful experience, but not when you go through it. only when you finish, and start reminiscing. work hard, make sure you get these memories to reminisce about.

 

feel free to spread this writing around for those who fear what’s to come. =)

 

dejectium out

17 january 2003

1025 hrs gmt +8

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