enough.
you can take back
all those forwarded messages you occasionally send – I delete them anyway. you can remove all concern you have from my life. don’t try to look like you’re trying to make up for all that
hurt you’ve inflicted upon me. it won’t happen. you can continue stuffing yourself with the consolation that
you have him instead, he who has been there for you all your life (as if). where was he when you were hospitalised? where
was he when you were lamenting the stress during your first semestral exams? where was he during some of the trying periods of your life?
oh I forgot.
you don’t have anything much bad with your life. you choose from the numerous fools seeking
your affection. you get everything going for your life. well perhaps the academic front is not as rosy, but hey, you
are gonna marry a doctor-to-be who’s already rich
anyway and drives a nice subaru that can ferry you
around. so you don’t need to work. and
as such, don’t need to study.
you can take back
all the paltry patronizing words you miserably try to offer when I try to
confide. I hope you start to wonder next semester why you seem to have lost a
friend. ‘cos I’m not gonna subject myself to all that hurt anymore when I see
you a few times every week. and yup, friends don’t
subject each other to all the shit that you’ve basically put me through. even though you probably don’t know it. and
yeah, that probably goes to show how insensitive you can get, or how convincing
an actor I am to show that, yeah, the great me is always ok: nothing can shake
me. yeah right.
perhaps it’s time to
stop being that nice. stop showing you that perennial smiley face and always be
there to offer reassuring words when you seem to be down. stop
being ultra-sensitive to all your feelings and going all out, further than
anyone else, to help you. ‘cos
you have him. he’s
more capable of doing things I can’t. after all, he’s the one you love, not me. so why should I go all out?
ooh, I hear murmurs
from the audience. you can just help her as a friend, you say,
you selfish ef-fer.
but I repeat: friends don’t subject each other to all
the shit you’ve basically put me through even though you probably don’t know it
and yeah that probably goes to show how insensitive you can get or how
convincing an actor I am to show that the great me is always ok and how nothing
can shake me. and I get the right to be selfish when I
wanna reduce my own pain.
and you can stuff
yourself with your constant inane utterances that I’m smart cos
I’m not. and cos I hate it
when people like you keep telling me I don’t need to study as hard cos I’m smart. I just pick the correct way to study and
when I do I concentrate. I don’t think of anything else especially boyfriends
whom I perceive to have been there for me all the time even though they haven’t.
and anyway a smart guy doesn’t mean that he doesn’t
have feelings or has amazing capabilities to reassure and console himself
especially well after hurt. certainly not me. why? cos I’m
still human.
ooh you didn’t know
that? too bad. now you know.
that I’m human! heh.
enough.
dejectium out
0129 hrs gmt +8