grey is a lighter shade of black. and if black’s the symbol of depressed thoughts, grey’s probably a lighter shade of that as well. thirty minutes free to write something. I wish I had a topic to work on, like during secondary school when the teacher would set something like Complete the Following Story…

 

time of the year to carry out re-examination and evaluation. 2005 – classifiable as a good year, not without its downs of course, but the ups sure outweigh them by a lot.

 

the year started off in zurich, switzerland, and one year on I can’t imagine anything that’s a bigger contrast than this. not that I’m complaining, but I still don’t know my plans for the year end party yet, although I’m pretty sure we’ll come up with something, or maybe because I’m pretty sure we’ll come up with something. zurich’s new year’s party was amazing, as was the rest of the europe trip after that. I vividly remember the quick short trip to london all by myself after that, watching phantom and chelsea play a match, doing other stuff that I’ve always wanted to do in london but couldn’t do because I’d prefer to compromise with my friends. then back to leeds for a bout of fever that really made me appreciate home, because I didn’t even know where to find a doctor heh. and the little thing of leeds exams, fire alarm interruptions and all.

 

three weeks into january, back home again in the searing heat of singapore. late start to the new semester, and everyone has already taken off and soaring by the time I’m easing out onto the runway. time to renew and establish new friendships in a land where friendships aren’t exactly the most fulfilling to me – my closest friends being outside university and not in my course. slight sense of emptiness at not having any uni bands to play in – hiatuses from jazz and ws – and before long that emptiness translated into an enjoyable freedom. no need to coordinate, no need to endure. more time to sleep and rest and maybe study yeah right.

 

I take a short break from writing to dig up my yearly planner to see what else has happened that my goldfish memory’s failed to bring up. now I realise january passed in a flurry of meet-ups with old friends after the exchange. dinner with x, dinner with y, lunch with z, every day, and no that wasn’t a chore at all. glad to find that life continued as normal for everyone while I was away, and life continues as usual and there was still a place for me despite the not-short-not-long time away.

 

as I flip the page I find february to be much the same as before, meet ups at an intense crazy pace, with assignments and tests peppering the pages. reclaiming tuition students and picking up new ones, and I remember that the early part of the year was spent earning back the money that I’d all splurged in europe. it was worth it, and the hard work after that as well. problems with school stuff still with backlog from late start – texts were sold out and I embarked on a round-the-island hunt for books.

 

march seemed pretty much emptier somehow, masked by the empty slots headed by the tag ‘tuition’. that’s the time when I suffered some sort of tuition burnout I thought, with tuition almost every other day but again it’s alright considering the income I was getting. big events included nusopenhouse philwindsconcertwithbigsolo, mumsoperation amongst others. and it might sound soppy, but I think I found a group of friends in literature finally, shihuasophiayuqi. sort of like how I was initially flitting around groups or cliques, knowing everyone but not knowing anyone well. winston and I still snigger at how this happened – haha sinister sounding eh – but right now nine months on I’m happily satisfied that this month brought me some good friends I can count on in university for once.

 

april’s easily summarised – essays tuition mug exams. nuff said heh.

 

I flip the page again used to the blank white spaces of april to be stunned by the colours of may and june. multi-tiered commitments during the early part of the holidays – artsfest temp job as liaison officer, got to meet some really interesting figures, though the work hours were insanely irregular. but who complains when one gets to chaperone figures like lang lang and christoph eschenbach? in the meantime tuition sessions continued to pepper the timetable, as did philwindsconcert practices. dad’soperation was another in the row of family health concerns that got me really wound up – it was during that period that I distinctly started wondering that if I disappear for four months and the family ends up like this, what would happen if I go away longer? that’s when I decided I’d not pursue that one-year masters programme I was sort of aiming for. despite all the work I note that I managed to meet up with a huge group of people and do a huge variety of stuff that I can safely and happily classify as having fun heh. and ooooh I was robbed then! hahaha…

 

june’s just as mad, and more of the same thing basically, and I’m getting tired of typing so you can just repeat reading the previous paragraph ;) difference being a philwindsconcert on top of the artsfest projects.

 

july was simple, thanks to wmc. before that it was still a matter of slogging, which let me realise again that my holidays were infinitely busier than termtime, and I always started looking forward to term again two weeks into my holidays, sometimes earlier than that. a couple of gatherings in the early part of the month, then commencement duties at ucc for most of the second week. then it’s off to europe again!! and wmc was a sweet experience, homestay being a huge part of that sweet experience. and barely half a year later I actually got to meet up with simone who kindly put me up at her beautiful house and showed me around the german countryside.

 

the return to singapore brought a new term, and finally I got to start term on an equal standing with everyone else, settling into year four and honours class appropriately. tuition student count was upped, and sessions per week increased, so the sem was foreseeably swamped with lessons essays and tuition. since it was early in the sem we could indulge in the weekly tennis game – which to my regret ceased once essays started piling up.

 

sem was ok, rather hectic at times, but manageable. september came quickly, and one look at the planner only draws one’s attention to the tuition slots – how did I survive all that travelling! but september also brought to me one of the best things that have ever happened to me, all thanks to a little coincidental bumping-into in the hallowed malls of the esplanade, for the patronoftheartsperformance. october passed in a similar flash, with the continued happiness I enjoyed, and soon the exams came. tuition piled up and disappeared all of a sudden once the exams started, and boy was I grateful for that. didn’t study as hard as I possibly could, but I’m content with that for all the other better things that happened.

 

and yup, december finally. christmasgigs, meet ups with various people, chalets and dinners and concerts and movies. teaching band and tuition-ing. all too sudden the end of the year is upon us and we scramble to evaluate the year, as I’ve just done. it’s been a good year, and I’m thankful for all that has happened to me.

 

writer’s block. tired shoulders from all that typing heh. time’s up. back to slacking the day away. I’m sooooo happy at finally getting a day in which I didn’t have to step out of my house at all! I’m incredibly energised by this heh.

 

and yes, this is an anomaly. a happy entry in an unhappy site. might that normalisation process continue? I hope it does -cryptic grin-

 

here’s to all an even better 2006 than the 2005 you’ve enjoyed. take good care, fasten your seatbelts, and brace yourselves for an exciting ride ahead! -groans at inept clichés used-

 

dejectium out

2052hrs gmt+8

30 december 2005

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