earl grey
and camomile (pseudo-moblog)
Why’s the day weird? Started off relieved to find that
I avoided a disaster… All 4 saxes couldn’t make it for
prac. At least I found out early enough to inform the
relevant authorities. After a scramble, everything was settled, or so I
thought. LO stuff went superbly smoothly, and was so touched when the managing
director of the group gave me two CDs of the group! And he was selling them for
$25 each! Apart from that, things also went great… till a call came from the
outside band’s president.
Got a shouting admonishment in my ear though for what
reason pertaining to me, I don’t know. Oh well. Anyway, I kept quiet, knowing
full well that that’s the best way to avoid an altercation, and understanding
the stress he is under. Then after a while, I think, hey I’m 23. Maybe I’m not
used to the working world, but maybe that’s a bit too old to be sitting down
accepting scoldings passively? Then again it’s in the
interest of peace, so perhaps I’m nearing nirvana? Heh. Oh well… Too bad that external things have to crop up to spoil an otherwise
perfect day at work.
Oh another cool thing. The group needed a beer bottle
urgently for some special effects in the concert. Scrambled to buy a bottle and
downed the beer. As I told the guys, it’s the first time I’ve had to down a
beer in the line of duty heh. Had
great chat and thanks from the group’s people. Will be sad to send them
off tomorrow…
12 june 2005, 5.30pm, mandai
road
The tenth was Cindy’s anniversary, but I was involved
in work the entire day. Had today off, so I managed to lug myself
out of bed early enough in the afternoon to go pay my respects. Didn’t realise
it has been 8 years already. Just some random thoughts here…
A faded photograph,
a couple of embroidered grasshoppers, a box of rosaries, a paper crane, a
replica gold medal, a few badges, some flowers, and a note. Wafting
through, a faint smell of burning incense. The
occasional sound of a motor engine. The gentle breeze
blowing through the building relieving some of that late afternoon heat.
Despite the
renovations that have taken place, everything within the block still looks
pretty much the same, smells pretty much the same, feels pretty much the same,
sounds pretty much the same. The exterior’s changed, but the units are the same
faces. Cindy’s plaque has the same things, the same collection steadily
building up over the years, the same scratch across the marble finish. I add a
flower, but pretty soon it’ll droop and fall off, and then it’ll be back to the
same state it has always been.
I see these
things once a year, and strangely over these eight years, things have acquired
a sort of familiarity. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been accustomed to going there
by myself over time. It’s probably my most pensive period of the year, a time
when I get to reflect and think about what has gone on over the past year,
surrounded by people who will never be there again. Perverse because it’s
supposedly spooky, but I get a sense of inner peace and quiet, voicing my
thoughts silently within my mind.
Then it’s the
same walk out as it was in. Across the flyover with its pretty flowers, beyond
the makeshift but now-permanent altar atop the slope, that moderately-long walk
out in the sun refreshes as it enervates. Then I think to myself, another year
before I make this journey again. And it’s amazing how fast that year passes,
before I take the same journey again. Going through it is long, but thinking
back, a year passes with the snapping of a finger.
Time to go.
dejectium out
0035 hrs gmt +7