he peddled furiously, one foot over another, that same one coming down, all within a split second.

 

the bike freewheeled, the pedals threatened to overtake the speed of his pedalling legs.

 

the rain beat down incessantly, drawing pain with every pelt. every raindrop hit his face, split, and rolled down fast, spurred by the driving wind.

 

the rain went into his eyes. he felt pain. he couldn’t tell whether it was the rain cutting into his eyes, or the tears welling up. both caused his eyes to start to blur. he blinked back the pain, and all too suddenly, his vision was clear again.

 

his thoughts went back to his furiously peddling legs. he felt the strain, the strain down his calves, down his thighs. still he pushed them on. I’m cleared for takeoff. and I’ll soar.

 

behind the quickly blurring eyes images whizzed by. he saw mostly her. images of her laughing. images of her looking wistful. images of her giving him a playful shove, and he taking it in his stride.

 

again he blinked.

 

and all the images were gone. replaced by other memories. the emails that she forwarded, that revealed the previous sender. a single guy sending an email to a single receiver: her. her going out to the sunny tropical off-coast island with someone else on valentines’ day. her relentlessly searching for a nice wallet for someone else.

 

he blinked.

 

the pain subsided in his eyes, and he could see clearer now. but the pain built up in his legs. still he drove them on, like an apathetic unfeeling master driving his slave to madness. he liked the pelting rain. he liked the driving wind. he wanted this moment to last forever, no matter how much pain it was causing him.

 

shirt wet, legs aching. there was only one thing on his mind. I love you.

 

dejectium out

05 may 2003

2215 hrs gmt +8

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