Cursed
I’m still in the midst of trying to forget her. Not
very successful with her calling me or messaging me every few days, albeit to
ask about schoolwork. And now she wants to meet me tomorrow to sort out some
economics. Perhaps I’ll try to do it business-like. Cold. Unfeeling. Hope I
can.
Right now I find this girl in the varsity band very
nice. Ok, very nice is sort of an understatement. Initially I believed she’s
too good for me. I still do. But I just tried to find out more about her
anyway. Especially since she helpfully gave me her handphone number. She has
beautiful eyes. Not big or what. But just sparkling. Really beautiful. Nice
hair too. Unique. And she’s a very nice person. Reminds me a bit of her.
Forgot to
mention. She plays the clarinet (too). She’s the librarian (too). And she’s
studying in the science faculty as well.
And I just found
out she’s Malaysian. From jb as well.
Got totally
stunned immediately when I found out. Too much of a coincidence. I just totally
couldn’t believe it. It’s too much of a déjà vu for me… eventually I decided
I’d better not try anything… not sure how I’d react to failure (again). I
haven’t even ascertained whether she’s got a boyfriend already or not.
But I’m still
unable to get her out of my mind. Now trying.
To get the two
of them out of my mind.
Perhaps some
distraction can help? Perhaps they can stop being nice to me? At least let me
try to hate them? The 5 years one’s gonna take another 5 years to forget I
might suggest. Guess I’ll try to avoid her, just so that estrangement can help
distance us.
But the other
one? I’ll see her at band practices. All the time. She, with that smile. Guess
I’m in total inner turmoil now. The whole world’s been turned upside down. Feel
like I’m making a mountain out of a molehill for this Malaysian issue. But it’s
still too much of a coincidence for me to handle. Gotta get a grip, man.
And nothing’s
been working the whole day. Got slightly told off because of two clowns who
don’t happen to observe punctuality. Not that they’re deliberately malicious or
something, but yeah, guess that’s why I call them clowns. And I’m not even
their section leader. Just because I’m the only freshman besides them doesn’t
mean I must be the one to tell them to practice. And those bunglers just carry
on, losing my book while shifting instruments. It’s my text for goodness’ sake.
Contains all the hand scribbled notes. And a very important bookmark.
Sentimentally. Haiz. Hope I’ll be able to find it tomorrow when I go back to
look for it in the day.
Nothing’s been
going right these few days. Perhaps except beating the computer at warcraft 3
with a few other friends.
Let’s hope
things change. I found out only 6 from the graduating arts cohort got first
class honours. I’m aiming there. High aim. But guess I need a distraction from
all these? Just study myself to death or something.
I’M GOING FOR
THE FIRST-CLASS HONOURS.
Dejectium out
1208 hrs gmt +8