cold

 

finally back in Singapore, after 3 weeks of tough training and fun recreation in the last 4 days. felt great to be back amongst loved ones, family, friends, and the like. even though I had a disgusting schedule that involved going back camp, booking out, and going back and booking out again.

 

rushed down to nssn on friday night, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, as well as the other fellas. managed to. though I was drenched in the rain, I at least felt happy being able to see her after one month. freakish?

 

too bad. she cast not even a glance at me. left very soon after I reached. said bye to all the rest talking with me. except me. I tried saying bye, but too late, she’d already turned her back. hah, concerned friends immediately stood around me blocking my view as she left with him, walking into the late night rain.

 

well, I couldn’t show I was affected rite? went on to talk to the rest of her friends, told them abit about Taiwan, asked about how they were doing, while actually thinking how she’d been this month. hope she’d been enjoying herself.

just met her online on icq. sent a short hi message after a few minutes of deliberation. would she reply? well, she did. her sis had to use the phone, so she’d to log off. and a curt “merry Christmas” after that. am I sensitive? or maybe she has probably started to phase my existence out? maybe I’ve ceased to exist in her memory already? well… if it has to be, it has to be. her heart belongs somewhere, maybe I shouldn’t hope for anything at all.

 

he is going to enlist soon. into the naval diving unit. tough unit, terrible training. he’ll need all the support he can get from her to survive the training. he’ll need her love, to see him through. hope she’ll give him the unconditional support he needs.

 

where’s mine?

 

still searching, still unable to forget…

 

dejectium out

0126 hrs gmt+8

24 dec 2001

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