the first of the many chapters of an online story I’m attempting to write. perhaps one day it’ll become critically acclaimed enough to be published in print. forgive me if things turn out a bit too like colin cheong’s seventeen, as I draw much of my inspiration and resolve to write from there. (I’d probably never attain his standard of literary style though). it’ll be in standard english – hope it strikes a chord close to home.

 

disclaimer: whatever’s written is purely fictional, and any resemblance to any character and situation is purely coincidental and made up.

 

please direct comments to [email protected]

 

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Chapter 1

 

            He first saw her as a thin, almost emaciated junior in his ECA in school. Having come off the back of an unsuccessful attempt at winning the heart of his classmate, Song wasn’t really in the mood to go around making new friends. He was in Secondary Four then, making the transition to being one of the most senior students in the school, something that he felt he could be proud of. He had just been elected the head of his secondary school band, and wielded vast amounts of power, and with that, responsibility.

 

            Chi was one year his junior, currently in Secondary Three. She’d just made the transition from lower- to upper-secondary, and Song hadn’t really taken much notice of her till then. Two years ago, when Song was a Peer Support Leader in Sec Two, he had been put in charge of one of the groups in her class. Though she wasn’t in his group, he made a mental note of her as a sweet junior with a pleasant smile. Sweet, and demurely pretty.

 

            Song felt a sense of emptiness in his heart, having resolved to forget the only girl that had ever occupied his life. And it was then that he found himself drawn to her, attracted to her. Hearing her name called during roll call gave him a sense of elation – he was beginning to like the sound of her name. It wasn’t really instant beauty that drew his attention to her – she looked a perfect nerd, bespectacled with wired teeth. He couldn’t find the words to describe it; perhaps he was still young then. He just knew that he had to get to know her better.

 

            By taking the same way home as her, Song managed to find out that she lived not too far away from school, and that she took a direct bus that delivered her to school within twenty-five minutes. His house wasn’t too far away from hers either, but he took an entirely different route to school. Checking the bus directory, he managed to come up with a route that diverted his journey to school – it would take him fifteen minutes more to reach school – but the new route would take him past her home. He secretly hoped he would be able to board the same bus as her every morning.

 

            The next morning, Song awoke fifteen minutes earlier than usual, and went about his usual morning business, taking care to part his hair more carefully in an effort to look less scruffy. He boarded the bus that would take him within stops of her house, and transferred to the service that would bring him past her home towards school. His heart quickened expectantly upon the bus approaching the stop where she would board the bus, but sank when it seemed she wasn’t there at that bus stop. He’d probably been too early, he told himself. Perhaps later the next day.

 

            The same thing happened the next day. His bus sped by without stopping, without him seeing any trace of her. He was starting to get used to that sinking feeling after his raised expectations. The same thing happened for a week, without a single day in which he managed to “meet” her “coincidentally”.

 

            But one good thing came about through those bus rides. His position as a student leader didn’t allow him to be seen attempting a BGR (as it was known in school then). Should the unreasonably strict discipline master find out, not only would his and her school life be in jeopardy, the reputation of the school band would suffer too. Imagine the head of the band being involved in a BGR! Something that would surely disappoint the teacher-in-charge that he held in utmost regard. And thus he endeavoured to put on that look of surprise should he meet her on the bus. After a week, Song was convinced his look was genuine and believable, ready to meet her.

 

            And it happened. He was already expecting that by now familiar sinking feeling when he saw her in the navy-and-white school uniform, back slightly hunched, arms wrapped around the file she held. He had always saved the seat beside him by sitting on the outside, preventing others from taking the seat. And for the first time, he could move in, expecting her to take the seat beside him.

           

            She spotted him, and they exchanged polite smiles. He sensed fear in her, an unwelcome effect of the regimented lifestyle of his military band. To her, Song was her “Sir”, the salutation they used to greet their senior NCOs. But to him, Chi had ceased to take on that senior-junior relationship. He was beginning to feel a growing affection for her. He motioned to her to take that seat next to him, and partly as a matter of no choice, she took it. It wasn’t the first time that they talked, but nevertheless they exchanged small talk, circling school life and band life, finding out how she’s coping with the transition to her new class. She expressed her surprise to see him on the same bus, and he panicked, searching for an excuse that he totally hadn’t thought of in the first place. He cursed himself for that moment of hesitation that he hoped she won’t notice, and attempted to prevent embarrassment by saying he usually took an earlier bus. Seizing the chance, he asked if she always took the bus at that time. She nodded silently, and Song found himself looking at her in the face. She gave an embarrassed smile, and he recovered himself by bringing up some other mundane topic.

 

            “Band very sian ah? NCO year already, feeling the stress?”

 

            He found her to be enjoyable company. Someone he could hold an interesting conversation with. Her guileless nature allowed her to offer honest, frank and innocent answers in that sweet voice. He stopped short of staring at her so as not to be caught in that embarrassing situation again. And all too soon, they reached school. Past the gate, they walked together down the path towards their classrooms at opposite ends of the block, parting at the staircase. This simple meeting had made his day, and Song went around with a gaiety that surprised everyone around him. He made a mental note of the time of the bus he took that morning, counting backwards to ensure he would get to the bus stop in time.

 

            The next morning, he found more reason to be happy. Pleased with his powers of estimation, he saw her waiting to board the bus at her bus stop again. Her look of surprise was quickly changing to one of familiarity as he shifted in to make space for her. Continuing their previous conversation, the two chatted on towards school. And the same thing happened for the next few days, giving Song a feeling of pure bliss. Of course, things never were so smooth. There were occasions when Song would miss his bus, or Chi would miss hers. There were also the occasions when he couldn’t get an empty double seat, and had to settle for one beside someone else while she stood. There were also the excruciating occasions when the person who boarded the bus just in front of her took the seat he’d been saving for her, and on those occasions, he could only offer a weak wistful smile. But with time, they were getting to know each other better as friends, with him taking the initiative to break down that senior-junior barrier.

 

            Thanks to those early morning conversations, he noticed her around school more. Perhaps it was due to his efforts to find out her timetable, perhaps it was just purely a matter of stronger observation on his part. He noticed her always with this girl who had been in his peer support group, and he took her to be Chi’s best friend. On band days, he would see her hanging around with two other girls of her batch. The warmth between the two thanks to the bus rides came across whenever they met in school, and they would exchange enthusiastic waves whenever they met.

 

            One day, Zong asked him a question. Zong was his pal in class, and vice-head in the same band, and thus they hung around together almost all the time. Zong asked if he was interested in Chi, since he noticed that Song behaved more warmly towards her than anyone else. He’d also noticed that the two of them came to school together often. Song gave an uncomfortable laugh that immediately told Zong everything, but he was relieved when Zong didn’t say much, except that he admired Song for his “good taste”. Song felt warm that he was not alone in his appreciation of her. He was happy to know she was well-liked, and feelings of jealousy weren’t setting in yet.  

 

            He was feeling good.

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

 

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