“Don’t you know, the difference between you and me is that I run away and
you don’t.”
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CATHARSIS: the
purging and expenditure of emotion
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I think that is a rather important coping mechanism.
And I think there shouldn’t be any guilt attached. And I think there is no need
to thank, no need to voice out any little utterances of gratitude, because what’s
important is that one exercises that catharsis, exorcises that haunting.
I attempt a cliché: “But hey, the sun’s gonna rise again tomorrow no matter what. Just like how you’d
carry out your usual life, just like how the birds are gonna
continue chirping, just like how your lecturers are gonna
suck, just like how I’ll still be around to listen…”
And I intend to honour that.
Bottling up probably didn’t help this cathartic
process, but letting it out all at one go is just as explosive. I’m not going
to push at all, not going to probe, not going to attempt any nudges. Take your time and feel free to say
whatever, whenever, you like. As long as it’s comfortable, as long as it’s
soothing.
As
long as it heals.
That healing process is sure going to be long and
arduous. What’s that light at the end of the tunnel? “Ooooh that’s the train!!! Arrrgh.”
Nope, that’s your angel come to rescue you. Whoever it
is, it isn’t important. What’s important is you
heal.
And how does one heal? By hurting
more first. Hurt so much that it doesn’t hurt anymore. Salman Rushdie: “To
be born again first you have to die.” Might not be the most appropriate but
it may help. Dissolve if you must. Let it all out if you must. But after that,
you have to make sure you feel better. Much like how after one gets pissed
drunk and then pukes it all out, trust me. And ahhh…
that feeling of feeling better – that’s the healing process that’s begun.
You think lowly of yourself; you don’t know how strong
I think you are. Yet facades fade, veneers crack. Feel assured that you’re
normal to experience this cracking up occasionally, as long as that process of
plastering over actually strengthens the surface, nurtures the inner self. Then
one day you’ll bloom, and what will all this be, but simply a
character-building process?
And that same refrain again: “That healing process is sure going to be long and arduous.”
And another favourite distorted concoction of mine: “They say that time heals. They’re wrong
though. Time doesn’t. People do – friends, more than friends.”
And what do I say to all that?
I’m in.
dejectium out
0238hrs gmt +7