it’s been pretty
good so far. and I’ve basked in the warmth and
happiness of it all. as much as the worrying does get to me often enough, the
warmth and the need to know she’s alright and well taken care of keeps me going
amidst it all.
but sometimes
hitting the brick wall too often draws blood. you
know, if you keep hitting and you see no way through, you just ask yourself if
there’s any point any more. or you see a way in and
you try going through that little inlet, only to find it reinforced with
stronger material, you ask yourself again if there’s any point. then you ask yourself why you are still hanging in there. and ask yourself if maybe not trying anymore will do the
trick.
maybe?
I’m tired of guessing. I’m the typical male: you got
to tell us what you want, or we’ll always be too dense to find out.
and nobody owes
anybody anything though. there’s no need for you to tell me if you don’t
want to, but it also means that you can’t get frustrated if I don’t tell too. and as I said, I don’t want to tell, if not for the fact
that I know that you’re smart enough to know
already, and that I don’t want to hurt you. maybe the way that I’m getting hurt?
never mind. I don’t
know what I’m saying.
I’m sorry.
dejectium out
2346 hrs gmt +8