finally. I’m
back.
seems like a
damn long time since I last wrote something. guess it’s the deluge of blogs that I’ve stumbled upon that inspired me to write
something again. but this one will be short. need to wake up early tomorrow. or
later today.
ok…
shall just list out those blogs I’ve stumbled upon,
to give due credit to my sources of inspiration: grace, pharaon,
junyuan, jiaxiu, huimin… think that’s it. of course grace was the one who
enabled me to reach the rest… didn’t know they had blogs
too. I guess it’s getting kinda popular. *the dinosaur
here muses*
I think perhaps
it’s time to forget about that cloak of secrecy, else no one will ever read my
page. haha. okie… all my
dearest subjects out there who actually are pathetic enough to read this: you
may link my site.
oh man… how
haughty I’ve become.
I’m just a
confused man. totally at a loss at what to do now. what if she reads this? okie… at the time of writing, my wait has ended. they’re no
longer together. but so what? mixed feelings… one’s my junior for about 7
years, the other was my junior for 2+ years, and both were kinda
close friends. so I shouldn’t be happy about this.
yet my wait has
ended. 5 years of unrequited waiting. but I don’t know what to do from here.
yes, we spent new year’s eve together, but though it was special to me, I have
no idea if she thought it special or not.
perhaps it’s
time for the cranes to rise again. time for them to show themselves. time for
me to bury the ghosts of the past five years.
yet my latest
advances have been rebuffed. ok, “advances” brings a
negative connotation. change. my latest attempt to ask her out’s been rebuffed.
asked her to watch a movie. ends up her friend’s got the movie vcd, and she’s willing to lend it to me. there goes one
attempted movie date.
elatedness at
her agreement to spend new year’s eve with me has morphed
somewhat into confusion. her lukewarm responses to my icq
messages whenever we meet online, her not-too-enthusiastic replies to my pathetic
attempts at superficial chatting. now I really do not know where I stand. a
good friend advised: just ask her if I’m anyone special to her.
my problem: I don’t
want to hear her say no.
let’s just hope
things progress. we’ll see how when term starts.
oh the wonders
of blogging. think I have an ancient blog that dates dunno-how-many-years
back. (year 2000 to be exact). I feel much better now after penning… erm, typing everything down. realised
a lot of things will happen if she reads this site… especially given the
astronomical amount of time she spends online. but I can just hope. yep… my earlier attempts at anonymity were to prevent the
existence of this site getting to her through word-of-mouth. but well, I can’t
stop anyone reading this.
and I somehow do
not have the strength to care anymore.
dejectium out
05 january 2003
(happy new year)
0346 hrs gmt
+8