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Jokes |
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Dolly Parton and the Queen of england die on the same day..they arrive at heaven together and saint Peter says to them.. I'm sorry ladies but there is only one spot left in heaven... So Dolly Parton says.."well I should be let in because God blessed me with these big bazookas "...The Queen of England says nothing and takes a bottle of red wine and pours it over her head.. And saint Peter says" ok your in Queeny".. Dolly says to this.." well wait, wait.. why is she being let in instead of me?"...And Saint Peter says..." everybody knows a royal flush beats a pair..." |
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What is 6.9?
69 interrupted by a period... |
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A naked man jumps out of the bushes and three nuns are sitting on a bench next to where he jumped out...the first one had a stroke...the second one had a stroke.. but the third ones arm was just too short |
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The pope and Bill Clinton die on the same day..they both get to heaven but there is only one spot left .. Saint Peter says only one of you is allowed in .. and then after half of eternity the other will be let in ...So the pope .(doing the just thing) says ok.. he can go first... Bill Clinton says..WOHHOO!! and goes into heaven.. after half of eternity is over the pope comes up and says oh wow I am say anxious to meet the father and the son and the virgin mary.. and Bill Clinton says.. shes not a virgin anymore... |
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Top 10 Things To Do In Walmart:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to randomly go off at 5 minute intervals
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms
4.when a clerk asks if they can help you..(if ever) Begin to cry and ask," why can't you people just leave me alone?"
5. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are
6. Dart arround the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible"
7. in the Auto department, practice your madonna look using different size funnels
8. Hide in the clothing rack, and when people browse through say, " PICK ME! PICK ME!"
9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
And last but not least...
10. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, " Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!" |
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home page |
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Sign the guestbook with your own jokes to be published on here |
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