Brotherly Love

Part one

He smiled cheerfully to me, the smile that will warm my heart, a smile that worth more than anything to me, a smiled that will make me happy whenever I feel sad. “ Brother… brother comes here…” He called me. I smiled back, walking to him. “ What’s the matter?” I asked gently, touching his small face.

He pointed to me at a box. “ There’s kitten in it.” He happily exclaimed. I took a peak inside the box and see a white kitten; I look back at him and shake my head. “ You can’t bring it back, mama would not allowed pet remember.” I could still remember the disappointment on his face when I told him that. “ Then can I visit him everyday?” The same old cheerful smiled were back on his small face again. I nodded.

Everyday for the past few years, I would pick him up from the childcare school on my way back home after school. Everytime, he would stand in front of the gate waiting for me and would smile brightly to me when he sees me. It was my responsibility to take care of him, my only and beloved brother.

Until that day I remember, we as usual went to look for snowy, the white kitten, which is now a cat. Snowy was not there, which it suppose to be waiting for us to feed him. We waited for two hours and looked around for him for another hour until I insisted snowy would not come back to us again. I had to drag my brother home that day as he was crying badly and refused to goes home.

The next morning I found my brother was missing, I looked around for him, in the house and neighbour until I was informed that he was in the hospital. He had gone to look for snowy early in the morning and was being knock down by a car.

My heart was graved as I enter the ward, the doctor apologizes to us, my mother and me was left inside the ward with my brother lying motionlessly on the bed. There was wound on his face, no smile on his face, I know I lose him, forever!

So many years had passed; my brother had become part of my important memories. Now I was in a band, another important thing in my life after so many years of searching since I lose my brother.

But today our bassist decided to leave the band, I was afraid, am I going to lose another important thing in my life, the band? My other bandmates comfort me, they told me that the band would be back as soon as they found another bassist. I always believed in them, soon our band had changes the name with the joining in of our new bassist. Dir en Grey was born with our new bassist Toshiya.

Before Toshiya joined us, we have a meeting with him, which was the first time I saw him other than the photo that is shown to us. He was tall with long blue hair, which I think it suits him a lot, a very feminine person other than our drummer Shinya. Was he really capable of playing the bass was my first doubt, Die and Kyo agreed with me too.

Toshiya had proved it to us with his skill. The first time he smiled to us was when we admit his ability, the very moment that attracted all my attention. It was a familiar smile that I long last for to see, which I thought I would never sees it again. It was the very same cheerful smile like my brother.

A silly thought came to me at the time, as I was wondering was Toshiya the reincarnation of my brother but it was impossible as Toshiya was already born when my brother was dead. I laughed at my own foolishness.

Soon we debut our new singles and become a major band.

Everything seem going smoothly for us, only this particular matter upset me a little. Toshiya seem to be afraid of me, not understanding why is it so. Do I look so fierce? Maybe I did demand a lot with the band practice, I keep wondering is it really because of this.

“ Toshiya!” I yelled the third times today. Everyone stopped and looked at us, stopping the practices. “ What’s the matter with you? You have been getting the wrong chord again?” Maybe I sound so meant that I believed I saw his body trembling a little.

“ I’m sorry Kaoru-san.” Toshiya dared not looked at me, causing me to get a bit mad at him.

“ Look at me!” I did not notice at first that I was eventually shouting at him at this moment. “ Kaoru, don’t be so meant, Toshiya still new to our band.” Die holds me back, where I was now holding onto Toshiya, shaking him somehow. I stopped immediately when I realized what I was doing to him.

Toshiya lifted his head up, seem to be following my instruction. “ I’m… sorry.” Tears had formed in his pair of beautiful round eyes, looking frightening at me.

I had tranquil down by now. “ No… I mean… I’m sorry.” I rubbed my forehead. “ I’m always like this when comes to practices. Let’s just take some rest first.” Maybe it was because that my anger had smoothed down, I noticed Toshiya releasing his tense. I gave him a slight smiled, hoping it will make him feels better before I walked back to my seat.

“ Toshiya!” I turned around when I heard Shinya shouting his name suddenly and all I see was Toshiya lying on the floor in front of me. “ He’s having a fever I think.” Shinya looked at me saying, after he feels Toshiya forehead.

The first time I realized how seriously Toshiya was taking his job, did he insist on practicing even when he is sick? I was left to look after him when the others go for their launch. “ Silly, why don’t you tells us.” The first thing I said to him when he opens his eyes. All he did was smiled at me.

Half a year had passed. Toshiya had becomes more used to our band, he is getting on well with the other bandmates including me by now. After all the encouragement I had gave him, all my concern I had shown him, it seem that my effort was not wasted as he had begin to open his heart to me, willing to share his problem with me.

From ‘Kaoru-san’, he had starts to call me by my name like the others a month ago. Why am I feeling happy? Is it because he had accepted me like he had accepted the others? I did not understand. I do admits that he had more place in my heart than the other members, mainly because of his ‘smile’, I had been treating him like my brother, maybe I did miss my brother too much and Toshiya’s smile had remind me of my brother.

Sometime Toshiya asked me why am I showing so much concern for him. “ Maybe you let me think of my brother.” I answered him, not wanting to hide anything from him, therefore I told him about my brother. After a few time of same answering from me, Toshiya gave up asking the question. Everytime I notice a trail of sadness in his eyes, I did not understand why and this doubt had goes on for the next half year.

Toshiya approaches me one day. “ Kaoru I have something to tell you.” I looked at him in surprise as he never been so serious before. “ What is it?” I was puzzle.

For this one year, from Toshiya joining our band, it was the most shocking thing I heard from him. It was when I realized why he had that trail of sadness in his eyes whenever I told him that he was just like a brother to me.

“ I Love You!” He said to me.

Toshiya had been in love with me for the past eight months.

Few days later, I accepted him as my lover. Why did I accept him? I was unsure, maybe because I did not want to lose him, just like I had lost my brother. But it was the most happy smiled I had see from Toshiya at the moment I told him that I will accept him to be my lover.

Was it right to accept someone love when you are uncertain?

Part two

Was it right to accept someone love when you are uncertain about the feeling you have for that person?

Die spilt out the beer in his mouth as I say that, glazing at me, disbelief written all over his face. I understand why he had this reaction, not only him, even Shinya and Kyo would have the same reaction if they hears what I had say. To them, I am someone who only knows about work and work and still work. Hearing a workaholic like me saying something related to love, it will be more surprising than anything they had hear.

“ Kao… Kaoru!? Have you fallen in love?” Die was exclaiming, excitement all over him. “ Who is the unlucky guy?” Die jokingly asked me, putting down his beer.

I stare at him, pouted. What do you mean by ‘unlucky’, I was thinking, am I really that bad? “ Who say I’m in love.” I decided not to tell Die anything between Toshiya and me.

The disappointment on Die face was clear, just then something seems to catches his eyes. “ Look Kaoru, sees that group of hot babes?” The same old smirking look return on Die face as he approaches the woman, right before I had a chance to said a word.

I had a sip of my beer, staring at the direction where Die was now surrounded by the group of ladies, Die was always so popular among the opposite sex didn’t him? Sighing, remembering about my luck when comes to my love life, why can’t I could be like Die? Surrounded by women, maybe I could find another important person in my life… maybe… Toshiya big round eyes suddenly appears in my mind. Those beautiful eyes, his laughter… shit! What is wrong with me!?

“ Hey, what’s wrong with you?” Die flatting his hand in front of me. “ Wanna join us to supper?” He continue asking.

I took a glance at the group of ladies. “ No thanks.”

“ Okay, see you tomorrow then. Ja…”

Why were them staring at me, am I really so unwelcome? Die and the groups of ladies had left the pub by now, just as something flash across my mind. “ Fxxk! Whose gonna pay for the bill!? Why must I be the one paying everytime…”

I slowly climb up the stairs, cursing why they had not get the lift repairs since it had broken down last week. The night breeze was cold, causing me to shiver somehow, step-by-step as I climb the stairs, I hum some tune from our new single until I finally reach the eight floor where my apartment is.

Taking a big breathes and stretches my body a little, just climbing eight floors and I’m getting tired? Maybe I’m getting old? “ Toshiya?” I saw someone sitting outside my apartment and recognize him.

The same old smile appears on Toshiya face as he heard me. “ Kaoru, I was waiting for you.” He stands up and walk to me.

As he gets nearer, I had notice the paleness on his face. Was it because it so cold outside here? How long have you been waiting for me? This entire question came over my mind but I did not asked him. I gently get hold of his hands and as I expected, it was so cold as if I am holding something that had just been taken out of the fridge.

“ Kaoru?” Toshiya looked at me with his innocent pair of eyes.

I sighed looking at this silly man in front of me. “ What bring you here?” I asked as I lead him into my apartment.

“ Nothing, actually it just that I want to see you. You said I could come anytime I want so I …” As if like I was going to scold him, Toshiya eyes starts to get watery. “ Have I disturbed you?” He voice lowered as he speaks.

“ Why don’t you give me a call then?”

“ I believe you must be working, anyway it alright for me, I can wait.”

Just as I had thought, he just came to see me, waited for me in the cold, dared not call me just because he’s afraid that he might disturb my work. “ You fool!” I yelled at him suddenly instead of consoling him.

Toshiya did not speaks up, his seem to be trembling from my yelling, lowering his head just like a child whom had did something wrong. But what wrong had he did? I asked myself… He just wanted to see me because I’m his Koi… because I promise to be his Koi… it normal for anyone to wants to see their love one anytime and instead of saying something nice to him, I yelled at him? What kind of Koi am I?

“ I’m sorry, I leave now…” Just as I come back to my sense, Toshiya muttered. “ I won’t do this again, I won’t make you angry again.” His was keeping his head down all this while.

I could feel Toshiya was crying now because he thought I’m angry with him, he was trying his best to keep his tears from dropping down, he was trying his best not to make me feel bad. I must do something now or Toshiya would get really upset for this, I didn’t want to see him getting upset… I wanted to see his smile, the smile which remind me of my brother.

Brother? Again, what am I thinking? I didn’t want him to get upset because he was like my brother and not because he was my lover that I didn’t want him to get upset?

What is Toshiya to me? I asked myself… brother? Lover?

The door of my apartment slowly close just before I realized Toshiya had left. I wanted to stop him, wanted to tell him I’m not mad at him, he didn’t do anything wrong. Why didn’t I chase after him even though he had left? What stopping me?

As soon as the door close up, tears begin to drop down from Toshiya eyes. Stupid Toshiya! See what you have done, making Kaoru angry again. Toshiya slowly walked away from Kaoru apartment, somehow hoping that Kaoru would come after him but the door did not open since then, disappointed, Toshiya left a while later.

I was holding onto the doorknob, didn’t have the courage suddenly to open it and chase after Toshiya. Was he still standing outside? Was he crying outside? Was he waiting outside for me to chase him back? Will he remind outside in the cold again? I don’t know… chaos in me… what am I doing?

When I finally have the courage to peek through the door hole, I saw Toshiya leaving, he had just walks away. I was right that he had been waiting for me to chase after him… did I disappoint him once again…

It must be another long night for the two…

Part three

I looked into the mirror; the dark eye circle was obvious. I just could not get to sleep the whole night; my mind was all Toshiya and my late-brother. What should I say to him when I see him later during practices, should I treat that nothing had happened? Smile and chat with him as usual or should I explained to him but what should I explained about?

I don’t even know my truth feeling toward him, do I really love him? All I know was that I do not want to see him getting hurt, I was afraid if I were to reject him that day, will I still have the chances to see that smile on his face again? I was afraid he will leave me, leave the band and I would lose another important thing in my life. Am I selfish to only think of myself? What is Toshiya actually to me…?

Just like I doesn’t wish to see the sad face of my brother, whatever Toshiya is upset, it hurt me too, all I want is to see him happy everyday. Who could tell me, was it love or brotherly love? Have I put my love for my late-brother onto Toshiya because they shared the same smile?

Toshiya

…

As I walk nearer and nearer to the studio, my heart beat faster. Who would I see the moment I opened the door, I know I was a bit late today, will it be Shinya or … actually deep inside me, I know who this person is… Toshiya, he’s always the one greeting me whenever I enter the studio late. Will he greet me as usual?

“ Ohayo.” I greet as I opened the door, looking down hoping that I do not have any eye contact.

“ Morning…Ugrr…” This greeting was horrible.

Die was the one greeting me, he was lying on the sofa and was apparent that he had another hangover. Surprisingly, no others was in the room.

“ Where the other?”

“ Ah, Kaoru you’re finally here!” Nearly scare me like hell, I turn around and Shinya was standing behind me with Kyo and Toshiya behind him, all was carrying something on their hand. “ This is the photo we had taken that day.” Shinya continue talking, showing me the box in his hand.

“ And this is our new costume.” Kyo grumble, putting down the box, which nearly crush Die who is lying on the sofa.

My sight was in fact focusing on Toshiya all the while, he wasn’t looking at me, was he mad at me? “ Good morning Kaoru.” Just I start guessing, I heard him greeting me. I looked at him and he was smiling at me. No! This wasn’t the same smile he always uses to have; he was upset about yesterday matter, angry with me? Toshiya was forcing himself to smile at me, doing his best to make me feel better. Kaoru! You are such an idiot! You have make him upset and he is still the one trying to make you feel better! I nearly hit myself hard when I think of this.

“ Morning Toshiya.” I greet him back, looking at his face; he was still smiling at me. “ Can I have a talk with you later?” I know I must clear up whatever I have done by now, I must apologize to him; tell him that I am not actually angry with him.

“ Yes, Kaoru.” I didn’t know what happened but I saw Toshiya smile faded when he reply me.

For the whole practice we have throughout the end, I notice Toshiya was not paying much attention, it seem to me that something was bothering him. Was it because of yesterday matter? It can’t be, if he really were to show out his mood during the whole practice, he would not have to make me feel that he is alright in the beginning and why his smile faded so suddenly just now?

The others had starts leaving as I was packing my stuff and Toshiya was waiting for me at the door. “ Hey Kaoru, want to join me for a drinks?” Die asked, walking to me with that same old smirk on his face.

I look at Toshiya and back to Die. “ No thanks, you can have your pretty ladies accompany you and I have something to talk with Toshiya anyway.” I pick up my bag and purposely swing it toward Die, hitting him right on his stomach. “ Don’t get another hangover and why can’t you just find yourself a girlfriend and stop playing around like this.” I was properly still angry at him for leaving me behind yesterday.

“ Hey, stop sound like my father.” Die makes a face at Kaoru. “ And don’t be so mean to Toshiya, don’t scare our new bassist away, leader-sama.” Die walk out of the door, thinking that I was again going to lecture Toshiya for the lack of attention during the practice.

“ Totchi baby tell me if he is too mean, I teach him a lesson for you!” Die giggle and ran out of the door with flying object hitting at the close door, of course throw by me.

The room was quiet again, Toshiya and me, two of us alone in the room now. Toshiya wasn’t looking at me, he was quietly standing near the door staring on the floor. How long was he going to look at the floor, I wonder.

“ Toshiya…” I have not even started my speech when I see the tears dripping down from his face. Gosh what happened?

“ I’m sorry Kaoru, please don’t…” I could not hear his muttering now from his shaking voice. “ I… come… don’t”

I approaches Toshiya and lift up his head lightly, he was still avoiding his eye contact with me, but his beautiful eyes was now cover with tears. Somehow I starts to get panic wondering what wrong with Toshiya, did he get so upset at me that causes him to cry so badly? The pain in my heart ascends to see him crying like this. “ Toshiya.” I called out softly as I try to wipe the tears from his face but it was immediately covered with new one. “ Can you tell me what wrong with you?” I sound more like pleading now.

I waited for Toshiya to calm down. This is the first time I embrace him like this, I nearly had forgotten the kind of warm feeling you have when you hug something that have temperature. My brother… I used to hug him like this when he cries… I didn’t know I would still miss this feeling so much.

“ Are you feeling better now?” I asked when Toshiya finally stop sobbing. “ Can you tell me actually what had happened to you? Is it had something to do with me?”

Toshiya took a deep breath and wipe the excess tear from his face then he looked at me. “ I’m well prepared now, Kaoru, tell me what you want to now.” His voice seems to decrease as he speaks.

I didn’t know what exactly wrong with him but anyway I had to tell him what I wanted. “ It was like that…”

Toshiya sadness on his face seem to fade as I told him that I was actually not angry with him to go looking for me at my apartment but waiting for me in the cold really anger me because he might get ill. He is a grown up adult, should know to take care of himself, what if he get himself ill for waiting for me in the cold? It will affect the band and make others worried for him; this is why I had scolded him.

“ Really?” Toshiya seem not to believe his own ear. “ That mean you are not angry with me for going to look for you and you are not going to break up with me because you not really angry with me, huh!?”

“ Break up with you? What make you think I going to?” I was in doubt at first then thing start to coordinate in my mind. This silly man must have think that I was so angry with him and wanted to break off with him, no wonder his smile faded once I told him I have something to tell him. “ Silly, that’s why you starts to cry where I have not even speak up huh?”

Toshiya starts to get embarrasses realizing what he had just said to me. He let out a silly grin and finally the smile was back on his face, the smile that is the same typical one was finally see on his face. “ Hee… Hee…” He let out another giggle and his face was actually getting crimson.

I didn’t understand why am I feeling so happy to see Toshiya smile again. The trouble seems to dissolve in my mind; yes it all seems to dissolve by Toshiya smile. “ Silly Toshiya.” I tease him.

“ Kaoru, you’re mean.” >__<

I didn’t know how long we have stay in the studio (me teasing Toshiya) but the sky was already dark when we went out. As we walk to my car, Toshiya sudden exclaim alert me. “ What wrong again?” I turn around and find him missing from my sight; this sudden thought nearly stopped my heart beating. “ Toshiya!” I yelled for him.

Then I heard his voice again. “ Kaoru, here, here!” It was coming from behind a car.

Toshiya was squatting down and was carrying something in his hand as he show it to me. “ Look! Aren’t it cute?” Toshiya was carrying a kitten in his hand, a little white kitten. This scene stunned me somehow…(Flash Back: “ Brother, brother look at this kitten? Aren’t it cute?”) The same excitement, the same smile on their face.

“ Kaoru…?” Toshiya was surprise by my sudden reaction. I pulled him up and hug him tightly with all the strength I have just like I was going to lose him. “ Don’t ever leave me again…” I didn’t actually know whom I actually saying this to.

“ The kitten…” The kitten had ran away, Toshiya wanted to get it back but I was embracing him so tightly that he hardly move. “ Kaoru… the kitten…”

“ Forget about it… I don’t like cat.” Toshiya didn’t make another attempt when he heard me. He stays still in my embrace, maybe thinking that I was acting wired suddenly.

I hated cat…

It took the life of my brother…

I hated cat…

I was so afraid just now… I thought I was going to lose Toshiya when he suddenly disappeared in front of me.

I hated cat…

Part four

I throw my bag on the sofa the moment we enter my apartment, Toshiya following quietly behind me. Maybe I was acting wired to him after what had happened in the carpark, I had not been talking much since then. Toshiya did not speak much either, all he says is that he wish to come to my apartment, I know he is concern about me so I let him.

I sighed as I switch on the television, sighing as I watch the program and sighing again. The thought of losing Toshiya earlier on was too petrify for me, it remind me so much of the time I lose my brother. I did not tell Toshiya about my feeling but I know he had been watching me all the while, wanted to say something but did not, afraid of angering me.

“ Kaoru…” Toshiya finally speak up. “ What happened?” His voice was somehow shaky.

Why did Toshiya seem so afraid of me? This thought makes me feel like laughing, do I look really that scary when I am not talking? “ Nothing actually, just that I remember of something that happened in the past.” I put on a slight smile on my face, trying to make him feels better.

“ Was it because of the kitten?” He seems to be guilty. “ If it so, I promise I won’t bring cats near you the next time.”

What is Toshiya saying? What does he mean by not bringing kitten near me? Don’t tell me he thought that I am scare of…

“ I’m sorry Kaoru, I didn’t know you’re are afraid of cats.” I nearly slip off the sofa when he says that, exactly what I am thinking, Toshiya thinks that I am scare of cat.

I burst out laughing this time and Toshiya was surprised by my reaction. “ What make you think I’m afraid of cat.” I can’t hold my laughter causing my voice to tremble as I speak.

“ You’re not?” He was still looking surprised. “ But you’re being wired from just now…”

I took a deep breath and move to the seat beside Toshiya, he is still staring at me with his innocent eyes. “ Silly Toshiya.” I merely can’t stop laughing and thud him on his head lightly. “ I’m not afraid of cat, it just that I don’t likes cat.” I continue speaking ignoring Toshiya protest; he was stroking his head, pouting.

“ Toshiya?” He was staring at the floor, a while later when I realized, did I hurt him? I didn’t know I had used that much strength. “ Did I hurt you?” I stretch out my hand wanted to touch his head but he move away out of a sudden, I heard some weeping sound.

I must have used too much strength, he was crying now, what should I do? I become panic and was so sorry, I wanted to touch him and comfort him, tell him I am sorry but Toshiya seem to be angry with me now. Slowly I stretch out my arm again, he move away when I touches his body. “ Toshiya, I’m sorry…” I move in front of him.

Toshiya ignore me. “ Toshiya?” I sound so guilty now.

I notice Toshiya body trembling suddenly, follow by I heard some noise where I later figure it as giggling sound. I frown as I finally understand that Toshiya was trying to make fun of me. “ Toshiya, you little brat!” I pull him down the sofa and tickle him as he was laughing frantically, trying to get away from me.

“ Wah I’m sorry Kaoru… Hahaha… please stop… Hahaha…” Toshiya starts begging me with tear forming from his eyes.

I did not stop, how dare he make fun of me like that, I must teach him a lesson. “ You little brat, see you dare again.” Toshiya was giggling all the way, trying to gasp for some breath.

“ Kaoru please…” He begs again.

I decided to let him off; I stop tickling him and let go of his hand, which I was holding onto. Toshiya finally stop his laughing and was holding onto his stomach, then he looked at me and blush, noticing what position we are in. He was on top of me and our face was near to each other. Toshiya did not move away, slowly he lowered his face, nearly touching mine, he was going to kiss me?

This thought suddenly shaken me, I did not understand why because he was my lover and it was normal for a couple to kiss each other. Without hesitation, I move my lip away. “ Kaoru…?” I heard his whispering, sound a bit hurt with my action.

“ GOD! What are the two of you doing?” The exclaiming from nowhere nearly scares us to hell.

Toshiya immediately move away from my body and I sit up, to my horror I saw my mother standing at the doorway staring in shock at the two of us. “ O…Okasan… What the… you doing here?” I exclaim in surprise.

“ … Mrs. Niikura? You see Kaoru and I was just playing…” Toshiya speak on my behalf when he see mum was in stun condition waiting for us to answer her.

“ Oh yes, we are playing… too madly I guess.” I sound a bit nervous. I was grateful that Toshiya had helped me out as I was totally blank in my mind just now. Somehow I was cursing myself for not hearing the sound of someone opening the door.

My mother broke into a nervous laugh. “ Playing… Kaoru you are an adult now, you should know your limit.” She bows to Toshiya. “ I’m sorry for my stupid son and you must be Toshiya?”

I frown. What do you mean by stupid son?

Toshiya nod his head. “ Nice to meet you Mrs. Niikura, I’m am Toshiya.”

“ Okasan, what bring you here?” I interrupt their conversation.

“ Oh your dad asks me to bring you something.” She starts taking out some booklet that looks like sort of photo album. “ See, here’s some picture of your first uncle daughter, your third uncle daughter and etc…” She happily opens the booklet out and shows it to me.

I froze. Matchmaking? I nearly faint.

“ Seem that you have something important to discuss, I shall take my leave now.” Toshiya stands up and pick up his bag.

“ Why don’t you stay a while longer?” My mum asked. “ Help Kaoru to take a look at this girls.”

Sweatdrop when I hear what my mum had said. It good enough that Toshiya did not burn up those photos. “ Mum, it’s late he should get going, we have early practices tomorrow.”

“ Since like that why don’t you sent Toshiya back first.”

“ It’s alright Mrs. Niikura, I can just take a direct bus back.” Toshiya rejected with his topical smile. “ I believe Kaoru-kun should stay and pick up some nice woman to be his wife.”

“ I sent you downstairs.” I pulled Toshiya with me, only allowing him to pause a while to greet my mum goodbye and we are out of the house.

I understand I had hurt Toshiya when I avoid him from the kiss. I was obliged that someone had step in at that moment, changing the tense atmosphere though it happened to be my mum. Still making thing worse when my mum mentioning about the matchmaking matter in front of Toshiya, I was afraid that Toshiya might get too upset but I did not expect him to still joke with my mum about the matter?

We were quiet in the lift, and my hand was still holding on to Toshiya’s wrist, griping on with little more strength. We weren’t looking at each other, but in my mind, I was guessing what Toshiya was actually thinking at this moment when I felt something drop on my hand that was holding Toshiya.

Teardrops slowly fell onto my hand, I stare at Toshiya, he was crying. Was it because of the kiss or?

“ Sorry Kaoru, I didn’t mean what I had say just now. Please don’t pick any woman from there… please.” Toshiya burst out crying, hugging me tightly, and lean on my shoulder.

The door of the lift open and close up again, I was standing still with Toshiya still crying on my shoulder. I did not say a thing to him, all I do was putting my hand on his back and bring him closer to me, comforting him with my action.

TBC~