By Tsmrhara
Part 1 – Now [I]
The stars glitter in the dark sky. People walking beneath it, not
much of them will eventually notice the beauty above them unless they are
willing to lift up their head to look at those real diamonds in the sky. It was
just like life whereby you will only gain if you have put in your effort or it
will end up with nothing.
The tune of ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ starts ringing louder
and louder, people around was looking at him, wondering why would a guy like
him will put up such handphone tune. The blue hair guy seem rather use to
people using doubt expression glancing at him, it was not the first eventually.
A guy like him, with perfect body and beauty will outstand anyone at any place
was using this childish music. To others, it will be strange but he didn’t care
what others might think of it because his lover put this up and that’s the most
important thing to him.
The blue hair guy look at the name on the display screen and a
sweet smile appear on his face, it was his lover.
“ Moshi, Moshi!” He answers the phone cheerfully. “ Kaoru, you’re
back!”
“ I’m back, Totchi.”
“ Why didn’t you tell me earlier so I can fetch you.”
“ I want to give you a surprise my love.”
“ Where are you now?”
Toshiya throw all his belonging into his bag and was about to
leave when he suddenly remembers something. He walks to the counter and order
two-cheese cake, one for his beloved Kaoru and the other one for his poor
friend who was about to be thrown behind.
“ What are you buying?” Another guy approaches Toshiya.
“ Cheese cake for you.”
“ Two??”
“ One for Kaoru!”
“ He’s back?”
“ Yes.” Toshiya reply and pass one of the cakes to the guy. “
Sorry Shin-chan but I going back now, I make up to you another time.”
Shinya receive the cake but pretending to weep. “ You heartless
soul, how dare you leaving me behind like that.”
Toshiya sweatdrop.
Shinya giggle and hint Toshiya to go. Knowing his friend was
joking with him, Toshiya left with a glare to Shinya but then both of them
broke out into laughter.
Friend…? Their relationship is more than that. Shinya look at the
disappearing figure of his friend before he turns to walk the other direction.
The past seems to emerge in Shinya’s mind, those happy and bitter memories.
Toshiya press the doorbell continually until he remember he have
the key which Kaoru had gave him. He stirs through his bag, struggling to find
the key when someone opens the door. Toshiya was still busy with his war of
finding key that he have not realize his lover was standing there staring at
him. A smirk appears on Kaoru’s face to see his lover action.
“ Totchi, what are you doing?”
“ Finding my keys…” Toshiya answer straightforwardly but then he
stops his action and look up. “ KAORU!!” Toshiya jump toward his lover,
dropping all the belonging in his hand and embrace him tightly. Kaoru smile and
was about to hug Toshiya back but was being pushed away suddenly. He puzzles.
Toshiya stare at the floor, look at Kaoru then tears emerge from
his eyes. “ Your cheese cake…!”
Kaoru pick up the cake box and open it. The cheesecake was all
smash up. He looks at his lover then without a second thought; he digs his
finger inside the cake and dig up some cake. Toshiya look at his lover and was
so touch that Kaoru was willing to please him by eating the smash cake. To his
surprise, Kaoru push his finger with the cake into Toshiya’s mouth instead of
eating it himself.
“ Kaoru… >__<” Toshiya pouted.
Kaoru laughed.
Toshiya glared at him.
Kaoru spotted the tears starts forming around his lover’s eyes
again.
“ Fine, you don’t love me anymore! I leave now!” Toshiya bust out
crying.
Toshiya pick up his bag swinging it hard toward his lover stomach.
Kaoru hug his stomach from the unexpected attack with one hand and with his
other hand he pulled his lover back. Toshiya tried to struggle free but failed.
“ I love you Totchi!” Kaoru whispered. “ But it’s also fun
bullying you and seeing you getting angry.”
Toshiya joined his eyebrow; then an evil thought rise in his mind.
“ Yes, yes… you’re just like DIE. He also loves to make fun of me.”
This time, Kaoru joined his eyebrow when he heard Die name being
mention. He hates to hear that name being mention by his lover because he knows
that guy – the great DIE was his rival. Die knows about his relationship with
Toshiya but still, he was openly wooing Toshiya. Thinking of it, Kaoru rub his
forehead lightly, seem that he was getting a headache.
“ You still seeing him?” Kaoru ask jealously.
Toshiya giggle. He knows his lover was getting jealous. “ Of
course I’m still seeing him. He’s in the same company as we are now.”
“ He WHAT!???” Kaoru exclaim upon hearing.
Toshiya burst out laughing frantically seeing the exaggerate
expression from his lover as he seldom sees it. Kaoru pouted realizing he has
been trick by his lover. Toshiya stop laughing. Kaoru was looking angry at
first but then he smiles.“ Fine! Fair now, you make fun of me back.” Kaoru
muttered then he pulled his lover for a kiss. Slowly, Toshiya clutch his finger
into Kaoru’s clothes and they deepen their kiss.
“ I’m saying the truth.” Toshiya say when they broke up for some
breath.
Kaoru stared at his lover for a moment and from his lover
expression, he knows Toshiya was telling the truth. Sweatdrop. So that great
DIE challenge is coming again, Kaoru frown.
The tune of ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ was continual ringing,
feeling frustrate, Kaoru broke his kiss from Toshiya to allow his lover to get
the phone. Toshiya pulled the blanket around his naked body and reach out for
his handphone.
“ Moshi Moshi!”
“ Hi, Toooootchi!” The man from the other side of the phone
exclaims loud enough to be heard by Kaoru. “ Heard that Kaoru is back?”
“ Die?” Toshiya looks at his lover who was now sitting up from the
bed. “ What’s up?”
Kaoru frown. >__<
That idiot, how dare he interrupt my precious time with
Totchi!!!
Fifteen minutes had passed before Toshiya ends his chatting. Kaoru
was still sitting on the bed but had already finished his second cigarette, now
looking absolutely displeasure. Toshiya move closer to Kaoru and sit across him
on his leg. He pulls the third cigarette that Kaoru was having away, ignoring
the protest.
“ Angry?” Toshiya whisper and place kisses on Kaoru lips.
“ What he wants? Chatting for so long…” Kaoru asked with some
jealousy.
“ That’s not important…” Toshiya reply and pulled Kaoru on him,
covering themselves with the blanket.
Second battle being…
>__^;
Next day, Kaoru drove Toshiya to work. He had just get out of the
car when he heard the most irritating voice (to Kaoru) in his life calling his
lover name. He knows who this person was! Taking a deep breath, he was well
prepared for their tongue battle while he turns around and sees that person
face.
“ Good morning, Kaoru.” That person greet first. “ You’ve been
away for so long, I thought you were dead.”
Toshiya sweatdrop but this was what will happen always when they
meet.
“ Ohayo!” Kaoru greets back. “ How would I dare to die before
you!”
That will be the ending of their conversation. Although different
sentences, they will only have two at a time.
Kaoru frowned.
Die pretends not to see Kaoru.
Toshiya smile awkwardly.
Then there comes their saver. “ Good morning everyone!” That
person greeted politely.
“ Ohayo Shin-chan!” Toshiya greets blissfully knowing he can be
save.
Both Kaoru and Die greet Shinya back then pretend not to see each
other again. Shinya sneer a little looking at these two big children.
“ So how your photography works Kaoru?” Shinya asked trying to
find some topic. “ Do you still need to go back to London?”
Die seems to get interested in Shinya question, wanted to know
when his rival will leave again. Toshiya was also waiting for Kaoru answer, as
he was also not sure of it. ‘ How can I forget such important thing?’
“ One more time and my work will end.” Kaoru answer. “ Will be
somewhere next month.”
“ That’s good!” Die exclaimed. “ You can stay longer if you want!”
“ Shut up!” Kaoru glared at him.
The second tongues battle of the day, surprisingly.
“ So soon?” Toshiya broke their battle.
Kaoru notice the sadness and loneliness in his lover’s eyes. “ The
last time, Totchi.” Kaoru said trying to comfort his lover.
Somehow after a while, both Kaoru and Die notice that they will be
working at the same company from today onward. Both are senior photographer and
the worse battle may be up soon! Toshiya and Shinya seem to remember too, both
sweatdrop to think what will happened later when Kaoru get to know that…
[Explanation: Kaoru and Toshiya were working at the same
company. When Kaoru was in Japan, Toshiya will be his assistant. Die had just
join the company (join mostly because of Totchi) and the company had sent
Toshiya to be his assistant as Kaoru was not in Japan so now that Kaoru is
back…]
Shinya: ^^;
Toshiya: Someone helped!!
The following few week was just like war of ‘Kaoru and Die’ in
both Shinya and Toshiya’s eyes. Seem that Kaoru had lose in the battle that day
about getting his assistant [Lover] back and was now dangerously to get
approaches. Die in the other hand was trying all his best to anger his rival
and this was making the whole company seem turning upside down.
After all, the
manager did promise Kaoru to give his assistant back to him once he came back
from his last travel.
Part 2 – Ago [I]
Tick dot… tick dot… tick dot…
The sound from the clock was making Shinya sleepless but the main
reason was… He walks quietly to the door and peek through the door hole, slowly
and quietly again, then he walks back to his bedroom. This time, he decides to
call his lover for help although he really does not want to bother him.
“ Hello?” Someone answered after a few ringing.
Shinya held back his breath for a second
before he speak out. “ Kaoru?”
“ Shinya? What’s up?”
This time, Shinya felt his heart beating fast, his face was
crimson. He seldom speaks on the phone with his lover therefore; he felt some
kind of uneasy calling him especially at this late hour. But…
“ Actually…” Shinya trying to figure up how he should said. “
Actually…”
“ …” Kaoru waited patiently for his lover to said.
“ You see, someone had been standing outside my door for about an
hour and was still there.” Shinya finally said out. “ I was afraid…”
Without letting Shinya finishing his sentences, Kaoru interrupted.
“ I’ll be there soon, wait for me and don’t open the door unless I told you
to.”
Shinya obeyed and hang up the phone right after Kaoru. Suddenly,
he felt so sweet in his heart for having such a caring lover who would dash
over to him at this late hour when he needs help.
Six month, they had been together for six month but he was still
so shy to tell Kaoru that he love him directly. He was still so shy to do what
other lover is doing like kissing… but somehow, something seems to have missing
in their relationship and that’s why Shinya was holding back his feeling.
Twenty minutes had passed.
Shinya peek through the door hole and the person was still there.
He turns and looks at his clock wondering when Kaoru would arrival. Just then
he heard a familiar voice…
[Outside]
Kaoru ran up the stairs and was losing his breath for dashing up
eight stories. He steps up the corner and turn where he saw that ‘stranger’
outside his lover flat. He storm directly to the stranger. “ What are you doing
here at such late hour!” Kaoru exclaimed.
The stranger was frightened by Kaoru sudden approach and seems to
get anxious tries to run away. Unexpected by the stranger, Kaoru reaction was
faster than him whereby Kaoru had already pulled the stranger’s hand back. Just
as both of them was losing their balance, the door of Shinya apartment opened.
“ AH…!” Both Kaoru and the stranger yelled when they fall into the
house.
Shinya tries to get hold of them but was too late. Kaoru fell down
first followed by the stranger landing on top of Kaoru placing a kiss on
Kaoru’s lips. Shinya was upheaval of the sudden happening. Kaoru just stared at
the stranger who was still on top of him. Now in the house, the light was
bright enough to have a nice look at the stranger.
Kaoru was stun for a second when he has a clear view of the
stranger. The stranger had blue hair, which suit him perfectly and… he was a
prefect beauty! After recovering from his dazing, Kaoru wonder why is this
beauty doing here.
“ Are both of you alright?” Shinya finally asked as the two was
still lying on the floor staring at one another.
The stranger finally gets off Kaoru and stand up follow by Kaoru.
Shinya was still eyeing his lover for staring at the stranger for such long
time although he does admit that the stranger was gorgeous.
“ What are you doing outside?” Kaoru finally asked.
The stranger was nervous at first but seem that he decides to tell
what’s going on. “ My name is Toshiya.” The stranger starts of with his name.
“ Toshiya?” Shinya seem to remember something.
“ Yes, I’m come to look for you.” Toshiya continue. “ Your mum or
might as well say our mum should have told you.”
Kaoru interrupted. “ What do you mean your mum and Shinya mum?”
“ You’re my step brother!” Shinya finally remember Toshiya name.
“ Step brother?” Kaoru was confused. “ Then what are you doing
outside for such long time?”
Toshiya giggle. “ I’m embarrassed.”
Both Kaoru and Shinya sweatdrop! ^__^;
[Explanation: Toshiya’s father had re-married Shinya’s mother and
so they became stepbrother. Now Toshiya will be living with Shinya as they were
be attending the same university.]
One year after Toshiya live with Shinya and they were now
attending the second years of university. Shinya and Kaoru were still together
but it seem that nothing had change in their relationship. In the other hand,
Kaoru and Toshiya shared the same interest of photography and were spending
more time together. At the same time, the appearance of this particular person
had make Kaoru realize his feeling for Toshiya.
The great DIE… He had start attending the university from the
second year and was immediately attract by Toshiya. He joined the photography
club because of Toshiya and there go the first battle of Kaoru and Die meeting.
“ What do you think you are doing!?” Kaoru exclaim. “ You didn’t
join because you love photography, you telling me that you want to join because
of Toshiya!?”
“ Yes! Is there anything wrong with it?” Die simply answers
without looking at Kaoru and that make Kaoru’s blood boil. “ Anyway, I can take
good photograph.”
Kaoru would have killed Die at that moment if Shinya and Toshiya
had not stopped him. Later, Die still manage to join the club because he had
won his bet with Kaoru that is by taking a photo that will be acknowledge by
the consultant.
Well, right after Die joined the club he had been wooing Toshiya
openly, which is earlier than Kaoru although Kaoru get to know Toshiya earlier.
Back to Kaoru and Shinya relationship; one and a half year had
passed and Shinya finally realize what is wrong with their relationship. They
seem to be more like friend than lover because the only one who seems to put in
the effort was Shinya and not Kaoru. Shinya do admit that Kaoru had treated him
well but it was just like the relationship of brother but he had notice the
changes of Kaoru when Kaoru was with Toshiya, it was love that change Kaoru.
To Shinya, the changes in Kaoru’s heart take place on the day when
Kaoru first see Toshiya. He does admit that Kaoru was nice enough for not
dumping him for such long time. He knows Kaoru likes Toshiya but do Toshiya
also love Kaoru? Shinya love Kaoru and he want him to be happy. It will be nice
if Toshiya also likes Kaoru he thought. Therefore, Shinya decides to help which
he didn’t expect to make thing worse and nearly…
“ Do you like Kaoru?” Shinya asked the unprepared Toshiya.
Toshiya knows that Kaoru was Shinya’s lover and now Shinya was
asking him whether he like Kaoru. To Toshiya, he did have feeling for Kaoru
ever since they spend more and more time together. But now, Shinya seem to
realize his feeling? Was he trying to remind me that Kaoru was his lover?
Telling me to leave him further?
I know I shouldn’t fall for Kaoru.
“ What are you saying? Of course I don’t like Kaoru!”
This sentence was overheard by Kaoru; breaking his heart.
Thinking that Shinya is unhappy with him for hanging around Kaoru,
Toshiya starts to avoid Kaoru. // Thinking what he had heard that day was
truth, Kaoru did not look for Toshiya rather.
Toshiya had been looking unhappy recently and Die had noticed it.
It was a prefect time for him to get Toshiya if he tries hard, he thought.
Kaoru was feeling moody everyday since then, as he keeps on
remembering what Toshiya had said. He was upset when he see how close Die and
Toshiya had become and that make him believe what Toshiya said is truth.
Moreover, Kaoru could not tell Toshiya how he feels toward him because he has
Shinya.
Shinya notice the unhappiness of Kaoru and the reason was also
clear. He didn’t expect Toshiya would say that because he always thinks Kaoru
and Toshiya love each other. The worse matter now was that there is Die coming
between Kaoru and Toshiya.
Toshiya was trying hard to forget Kaoru and forcing himself to
accept Die. Many times, he thinks he can do it but he can’t. He can see the
sincere in Die but his heart was with Kaoru, he cannot lie to Die.
Bitter feeling…
Their relationship went on like this for another year. The last
year of university, it will be the last chance if ‘he’ wants to be happy.
To Die, he will be happy if Toshiya could accept him. Kaoru, he
will be happy if he can be with Toshiya. Toshiya will be happy if Kaoru is with
him. Shinya will be happy if Kaoru will love him but he knows his wish will
have no future.
What will future be
like? Sweet … bitter … unknown…
Part 3 – Ago [II]
Sometimes just the simpler words would solve every misunderstood.
It just depend on when you have say it, whether is it too late or in time.
“ Toshiya are you really leaving the photography club?”
Die was surrounding Toshiya asking the later who is packing his
belonging. The only reason Toshiya had given is it was the third year of
university and he wants to concentrate on his studies. Moreover, Kaoru did not
stop him either. This one-year was long enough to torture both Kaoru and
Toshiya and Toshiya known it is time now to leave. The university only allows
their student to leave their club joined at the last six month of their last
year in school; Toshiya had waited for so long and finally.
Just two days a week they have to go to their club but these two
days was like a year to them.
The only time we can spend together, also the
time I can see you. Having you around was just like heaven to me. I love you
but you don’t, why is it have to like this. Toshiya, I love you…
The last days… finally and I should be happy
that I can finally leave the club. The only thing that is betraying my smile
was my heart. I was aching within inside. This is the place where we have the
most memory together… Kaoru I love you…
Kaoru was sitting at the corner of the room.
With his hand on his camera, he was actually thinking of the past where he and
Toshiya had freely talk and joke to one another. He missed those time and now
he had to face the reality that the man he love is going to leave him further
and maybe they won’t have a chance to… thinking of these, his heart was
clutching up. How could I just let this happened?
He looks up at Toshiya… he wanted very much to
tell him to stay and tell him how much he love him.
Toshiya was gathering the photo he had take
where he saw one piece of it that does not belong to him inside. He take up the
photo then stare at it. It was just a simple shot of the night sky with a clear
view of the stars on the sky, it was a piece that Toshiya love so much. Again
he felt pain in his heart, Kaoru gave this photo to him.
// “This piece is beautiful!” Toshiya say while snatching a photo
from Kaoru.
The
photo have a clear view of stars shining in the dark sky, it look like diamond.
Kaoru smile seeing the reaction of Toshiya who was just like a young girl
seeing something romantic.
“
You like it?”
“
Yes!” Toshiya answer directly. “ Why don’t you give it to me as my birthday
present?”
“
No.”
“
You’re stingy, it just a piece of photo.” Toshiya pout.
Kaoru
snatch the photo away from Toshiya and put it back inside his album. Toshiya
pretend to be crying and leave the room where he already plans to do so as he
is meeting Shinya.
“ A photo of star does not suit you
Toshiya, you worth more than that. I would give you a real star if I could.”
Kaoru said to the empty room.
Later
that evening, Kaoru had return to the club. He wants to slip the photo into
Toshiya’s album to give him a surprise when he flips through again. When he
reaches there, he heard Shinya and Toshiya conversation.
“
Do you love Kaoru?”
“
You must be joking Shinya, how would I!?”
Just
two simple sentences like this and it had changed so many things.
//
Toshiya glance at Kaoru where their eyesight
met. The photo was still in Toshiya’s hand. Toshiya turns the photo facing it
to Kaoru then he smile follow by Kaoru; a rare one after this one whole year of
unspoken.
“ You finally decide to give it to me.”
Kaoru simply nodded his head, he wants to say
something but what should he say now.
Please say something, let me hear you for the
last time.
“ Kaoru…”
Kaoru was still remaining quiet.
Of course you will be angry with me for
ignoring you the whole year without telling you the reason.
Silent…
Please say something Kaoru…
Silent…
Kaoru…?
“ Thank you Kaoru?” Toshiya finally give up. “
I leaving now, good bye.”
TOSHIYA!!
The echo in Kaoru was getting louder and
louder, he wanted so much to hug Toshiya and tell him the entire thing that he
wanted at this moment. He stare at the leaving Toshiya, he could felt the
sadness in Toshiya. Why are you feeling sad?
Toshiya was holding back his tear but it seem
that he had failed as his tears was dripping down his beautiful face.
“ I HAVE ENOUGH OF THE TWO OF YOU!!”
Toshiya stop walking and turn around, Kaoru
regain from his feeling of pain and look at Die who had shouted.
“ I don’t want to said this but…” Die
exclaimed.
Kaoru was shock to see the tears at Toshiya
face. Toshiya in the other hand was trying his best to wipe it off.
“ Why are you crying!?” Kaoru asked worried.
Toshiya look at Kaoru who had finally spoke to
him. It was the concern of Kaoru he had always long for, it was Kaoru voice
that he long for. This time, Toshiya had totally lost control on himself.
“ Kaoru, I…” Toshiya wanted to say something
but he had burst out crying.
Kaoru sweatdrop.
Die frown, no one was listening to what he
wanted to say now.
“ I want… to be… with… you…” Toshiya muttered
unclearly.
“ What?”
“ HE SAYS HE WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!” Die
shouted unwillingly at Kaoru.
Kaoru was stunned.
Die looking reluctant and jealous.
Toshiya was still crying and now his face was
blushing.
At that moment, if it weren’t Die shouting at
them, Toshiya will not turn back and Kaoru will never know what in Toshiya’s
heart. Die was eventually the ‘match maker’ of Kaoru and Toshiya.
After that Kaoru finally get to know why
Toshiya wanting to lie at the time when Shinya ask him. Now that the
misunderstood had clear up and he finally know they were both in love, they had
one more thing to worry about and that is what they going to do with Shinya,
how are they going tell Shinya about their relationship.
Well, right after the incident, needn’t to
say, Toshiya did not leave the club. The two-day of the week had become their
sweet time where they can spend freely together. Die was getting mad about it
but still he did not give up on Toshiya and that had created the ‘Kaoru x Die
tongues battle later on’.
The stars were too bright for me but I love to
have it… and you are the one.
“ Kaoru why did you decide to give me that
photo?” Toshiya asked.
“ I never want to give it to you because only
a real star will worth you.”
Toshiya starts to blush then he was so touch
that he starts to cry. Kaoru seem to have realized it has already open out his
arm waiting for Toshiya to use. “ Wahh… Kaoru I love you so much! Wahh…”
They have waste so many years, now that they
finally know one another feeling, they were looking forward to make use of the
time they have. From now to forever my love for you will never changed.
I love you…
Shinya had notice Kaoru’s mood recently, Kaoru
was way too happy this few week and there’s only one reason behind it.
They’re finally together? I’m out of love now…
Shinya was standing outside the photograph
room, he had come to make sure what he thought is truth cause no one had tell
him about it. Seeing how blissful Kaoru is when Toshiya was with him make
Shinya happy but also jealous. Nevertheless he have to give up which he know he
should had long ago and it was the time now.
“ Shinya!” Toshiya exclaim when he sees Shinya
outside the door.
Toshiya quickly put his hand away from Kaoru
when he realized his hand was holding on Kaoru. Kaoru in the other hand was
getting nervous. Shinya enter the room where only Die, Kaoru and Toshiya were
in, giving them an expression that is longing for an explanation.
“ Please forgive us!” Kaoru speak out first
knowing that Shinya had known the truth. “ It was all my fault if you want to
blame.”
Toshiya stare at Shinya with pleading eyes.
Shinya pout.
“ You say you don’t love Kaoru didn’t you?” Shinya asked suddenly
giving Toshiya a fuming face.
Toshiya was dumbfounded.
Kaoru was already prepared to be slap by Shinya had step forward
wishing that Shinya would only do that to him and not Toshiya.
“ Hey Shinya, don’t make fun of them.” Die speaks up.
Kaoru/ Toshiya: ??
“ Can’t you just let me play for a while?” Shinya pouted then look
at the two of them and smile.
Toshiya and Kaoru was confuse at the beginning, it was later that
they know Shinya was trying to match make them since years ago. Finally, will
it be a happy ending for Kaoru and Toshiya?
The stars glitter, so beautiful just like
diamond.
“ Wasn’t it beautiful?”
Toshiya was lying on Kaoru shoulder; they were sitting on the bed
facing the window where they could see the beautiful sky. Kaoru was trying to
reach his lover’s handphone.
“ What are you trying to do?” Toshiya asked when he feels Kaoru
moving away.
Kaoru just give Toshiya a smile and starts to compose the tune in
his lover handphone. Toshiya just stay still and watch his lover until Kaoru
play the tune for Toshiya. It was a………
“ So childish!!!” Toshiya exclaim when he hears the tune. “ Why is
it twinkle twinkle little star?”
Kaoru hold his lover face with both his hand. “ I own you a star,
just let this tune stay with you until I get you one.” Kaoru said and place a
kiss on Toshiya’s lips, a passion one follow by.
“ I’m going to delete it!” Toshiya muttered and pretend to delete
it. “ You always said you will give me a star but you never.”
“ I will!”
“ Ya ya you will and you have been saying this for the pass three
years since we graduate from university right!?”
Kaoru sweatdrop but he had expected his lover to say it again. “
Only something like star will suit you my love.”
Toshiya ignore the topic. He left the bed and start packing Kaoru
clothes. “ How long will you be leaving this time?” Toshiya asked while
packing.
“ About a month.”
Toshiya pouted. “ So long?”
It had been three years since they graduate from university.
Kaoru, Toshiya and Shinya were now working in the same company where Kaoru had
to travel a lot to gather new picture. Die was now a free photographer who will
always appear automatically when Kaoru went oversea.
The next day, Toshiya sent Kaoru to the airport. Although Toshiya
had already used to Kaoru leaving frequently but still he is feeling lonely, he
wants his lover to stay with him but he never tell Kaoru because he never want
to interfere what Kaoru love to do.
“ Be careful.” Toshiya said when Kaoru was about to enter the
departing hall.
Kaoru had notice Toshiya was pretending to be happy in front of
him. He knows what Toshiya was thinking and he had planned to finish his last
work before he will apply to stay in Japan. He did not want to tell his lover
now because he wants to give him a surprise and them he will give him a real
star…
“ Good bye, Totchi.” Kaoru said when he enters the hall. “ Take
care of yourself.”
I love you…
The tune of twinkle
twinkle little star came from Toshiya pocket when he was walking out of the
airport after Kaoru left. Toshiya take his handphone out and see the display
screen where he saw Die name flashing… “ So fast!?”
Part 4 – Now [II]
The night before Kaoru was going oversea again. This time Toshiya
seem a bit happy, as it will be his lover last travel oversea. Kaoru was busy
with his own stuff when Toshiya approaches him.
“ Kaoru you sure you will be back before my birthday?”
Kaoru turn around and pull Toshiya against his body. “ Of course
my love, I promised to give you a surprise on your birthday.” He added before
they start kissing.
Kaoru push his lover onto the bed and slowly he traces his kisses
down Toshiya body leaving down love bits hoping it will last for two weeks
before he return although it is impossible. Toshiya in the other hand was
leaving down his nail scratch on Kaoru back.
“ I love you Totchi.” Kaoru whispered. “ Can I now…?”
Kaoru slowly enter into Toshiya when he get know his lover was
ready. At first Toshiya felt the sharp pain then it slowly turn into pleasure
when Kaoru starts to move faster and faster until they both come. Kaoru lay on
top of Toshiya for a short while before he moves beside his lover, pulling
Toshiya nearer to him. Toshiya was so tired but he felt so being love when
Kaoru embrace him like that.
“ I love you!” Toshiya said to Kaoru who reply him with another
kiss.
The next morning, Kaoru left alone to the airport after preparing
breakfast for Toshiya who was still sleeping like pig. “ Good bye Totchi!”
Kaoru kiss Toshiya forehead and left the room.
The last day of March which is Toshiya’s birthday but he was
extremely upset today. Shinya was with him; Die was with him but not his lover.
Kaoru had not returned oversea, as he had promised. Shinya and Die was trying
their best to cheer Toshiya but he was pulling a long face although he did not
want to disappoint his friend who was trying to make him happy.
He was so disappointed. Gradually Toshiya feel like crying just as
his handphone rang.
“ Hello.” Toshiya answer lifelessly.
“ Happy Birthday Totchi!”
The voice immediately lightens up Toshiya mood. “ Kaoru!” He
exclaimed
Die and Shinya stare at Toshiya then look each other. “ He is
selfish when come to love or friendship.” Die says jokingly and Shinya nod his
head in agreement.
“ Where are you now?” Toshiya asked his lover.
“ I’m on my way back from the airport.” Kaoru simply answer. “
Sorry that I’m back late Totchi.”
Toshiya was smiling widely now. “ Never mind, as long as you
finally back.” He added.
“ I’ll be back in a short while.” Kaoru said before they hang up
the pone. “ I love you.”
“ I love you too!”
Toshiya look back at Shinya and Die who was pretending to be
weeping. Toshiya give them a silly laugh and the three-fool laugh together. As
long as their friend can be happy, Die and Shinya will be happy too. This is
what Die and Shinya thinks.
An hour passed but Kaoru had not returned.
Toshiya simply say it may be traffic jam.
Two hours passed.
Three hours passed.
Toshiya called his lover but the phone could not get through.
Four hours passed.
“ He said he will give me a surprise today, maybe he is preparing
it!” Toshiya explained.
Five hours passed.
The phone rang, Toshiya pick it up. “ Moshi Moshi, Kaoru?”
“ Hello, we are calling from the hospital…”
Toshiya dropped the phoned.
Die, Shinya and Toshiya rushed to the hospital. They confirm the
ward where Kaoru was in from the nurse and when they were finally in front of
the ward, Toshiya stopped. He sits down at the chair, body shaking badly.
“ I’m not going in!” Toshiya said suddenly.
Die enters the ward with Shinya leaving Toshiya sitting there
emotionless. The ward seems to become so big suddenly. Kaoru was there, lying
unmoved with a white cloth covering him. Die and Shinya walk to Kaoru, slowly,
Die life ups the cloth. Die shut his eyes, clutching the cloth. Shinya burst
out crying.
“ Hey you fucking idiot! Wake up now!” Die exclaim suddenly.
“ Die!?” Shinya who was now sitting on the floor was surprise by
Die sudden reaction.
“ You say you won’t die before me!” Die shouted at Kaoru. “ If you
still lay there, I’ll take Toshiya away from you!”
Die was now pulling Kaoru by the shirt, holding Kaoru’s body up by
the neck. Shinya wanted to stop Die but his leg weren’t moving.
“ You idiot! YOU’RE IDIOT!!” Die yelled at Kaoru. “ You… going to
killed Toshiya… you…”
“ Die…” Shinya called out softly, seeing the tears in Die’s eyes.
That day, Toshiya didn’t get to see Kaoru. He had faint
immediately when he finally decides to enter the ward.
After the funeral, Toshiya had been locking himself inside his
room, not letting anyone going in. The room he and Kaoru used to share, it was
full of memory but Toshiya knows all these memories had come to an end, there
will be no more new one because Kaoru is gone… forever.
That day when Die finally forces his way inside the room, he was
stun to see how Toshiya had become. He knows Toshiya heart was broken but he
can’t bear to see him becoming like a ghost. Toshiya had become so thin, his
eyes were swollen but there are no more tears now.
“ Toshiya please…” Die said pulling Toshiya up. “ Gather yourself
up now, Kaoru won’t want to see you like this.”
Toshiya remain emotionless. Shinya was standing at the door, tears
was dripping down his face to see Toshiya like that.
“ He says he will give me a surprise.” Toshiya muttered suddenly.
“ What a big one…”
Die felt his heart
breaking up on hearing that. Again tears start to form in Toshiya’s eyes,
dripping down his face slowly before he collapse onto Die. “ He’s a liar!”
Toshiya yelled.
“ Toshiya! You still have Shinya and me…”
“ He still own me a star and he said he will give it to me, he
said he would!” Toshiya starts to yell like mad now. “ I want it now KAORU,
GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!”
After a long yelling and crying, Toshiya finally felt asleep. Die
and Shinya left the room and went outside to take a break.
Few days later, Toshiya finally became calmer. He did not cry that
much and was willing to eat something after listening to Shinya. Apart from
that, Toshiya still refused to talk to anyone.
“ He has finished half of it.” Shinya said to Die when Toshiya
went into the room after eating.
Just then, the doorbell rang and Die went to get it.
“ Is there a Mr. Hara here?” The man asked.
“ Yes, there is.” Die answered.
“ I am delivery something to him although it was delay some time.
We are sorry about it.”
Die signed the receipt and takes the parcel from the man. The
deliveryman politely bows to Die and left.
Die passed the parcel to Toshiya who was inside the room. Toshiya
open the parcel, there is a small box and a letter inside. He opened the
letter, immediately he see Kaoru’s name. Without waiting, he opened the small
box before reading the letter. In the box there was a ring, a diamond ring.
Toshiya reads the letter:
Totchi my love,
Here
the star I had promise to give you. Don’t you think it look like one? I know
you can’t wear this ring out but it just caught my eyes when I see it. Well
actually I wish to use this ring and letter as my behalf to ask you this. Will
you marry me? I decide to deliver it to you instead of giving you myself
because I want you to have more time consider and if you agreed, wear it on
your birthday!
Your love
Kaoru.
Toshiya dropped the letter and burst out crying.
---------
Die,
Sorry
for leaving like that. I promised I won’t do any foolish thing but I need time.
I understand your love for me but I can’t accept it now, I don’t want to take
you as Kaoru replacement. Hope you understand.
Toshiya.
Pls: next time when we meet again, I make your dream comes
truth if you still longing for it!
The very first time Die finds himself crying, not that he is upset
for Toshiya leaving like this but he feel the pain in Toshiya. He had cried for
Toshiya, the man he loves wholeheartedly. Die folds the letter and put it
inside his pocket, brush his hair properly. The cold air blow on his face,
looking at the sky, he could feel Toshiya still around him no matter how far he
had gone; Toshiya would always be in his heart.
That day when Toshiya sees the ring Kaoru had give him, he almost
broke down and wanted to kill himself. It was Die who stops him and tells
Toshiya how much he needs him. Die is willing to replace Kaoru in whatever
matter as long as Toshiya is can smile again but he was been rejected. Die
manages to stop Toshiya from doing foolish thing but he still could not get his
love.
---------
“ Shinya, you’re here already.”
Shinya turns around and see Die holding a bouquet of flower in his
hand smiling at him. It had been quite some time since he last sees Die and it
seem that Die had not change much.
“ Nice to see you again.” Shinya reply. “ It had been a year since
I meet you here last year.”
It had been five years since Kaoru’s death and Toshiya leaving.
Die had also left the company to become a free photographer shortly after
Toshiya left. Since then, Shinya only get to see Die every year on Kaoru’s
anniversary. Every year they would come to pay Kaoru a visit and hope to see
Toshiya again but they never get to see him.
“ Since like he’s not here again.” Shinya simply said referring to
Toshiya.
“ Maybe next year!” Die reply.
“ Well, let’s go!”
Twinkle Twinkle
little stars…how I …
Part 5 – The future
[end]
I will make your wish come truth the next time I see you
if you are still longing for it.
The seventh death anniversary of Kaoru, as usual Die and Shinya
will pay Kaoru a visit. Still hoping Toshiya will be back this year but it seem
that their hope turn in vain again.
“ Let’s go now.” Die said.
Shinya simply nodded his head; he had notice
the disappointment in Die. Each time Die will find something to comfort himself
but he does not this year. He understands how eager Die wanted to see Toshiya
again but every time he only ends up in disappointment.
Where are you Toshiya?
Just as Die and Shinya was entering the car, Die heard something
familiar. A tune, a very childish tune that he used to said to Toshiya. Die
felt his heart beating faster and faster, he wants to see the owner of the
handphone who have this tune.
Die get out of his car an follow the direction where the tune came
from, there he saw someone standing alone looking at something. Die felt
excited but the very next moment, he was disappointed again. That man was too
short to be Toshiya.
“ Die was it?” Shinya asked while getting out of the car.
Shinya looked at that man then back to Die.
“ Shinya.” Die speaks out suddenly. “ I was afraid…”
Shinya know what Die referring to, Die was afraid that Toshiya
might have killed himself long ago. It had been seven years but they did not
have any news about Toshiya.
“ Die, just let it be. We can’t do anything now.” Shinya said
trying to comfort Die. “ He will be all alright.”
They were on their way back and had stopped at the traffic light.
There was silent in the car where Die heard that tune again. He look outside
the car window and saw the same man which he had saw earlier on stopping his
car beside Die’s.
Die rubbed his forehead. He wanted so much to get out of his car
and killed that man for letting him feeling disappointed two times within an
hour. Shinya just look at that man.
The road was absolutely quiet at the moment. They were the only
two cars stopping there.
“ How is it then?” A voice was talking from that car which is loud
enough to be heard by Die and Shinya in the other car. “ Kyo! Don’t fall asleep
now!”
The shrieking voice really hurt Die’s ear.
“ TOSHIYA!! Don’t struggling me!” That man exclaimed.
Die seems to have overcome his anger from that name he had heard.
Shinya stare at that car realizing that is another person in the car.
“ Toshiya!?”
Die rushed out of his car and approached that car in lighting
speed frightening the short man to hell.
“ Die…”
Toshiya walks out of the car. His face was red; his eyes were
watery then he jumps toward Die.
Shinya smiled.
Die was overjoyed.
Toshiya was crying in Die arms.
Kyo was in the car wondering what was going on.
One year ago, we meet here after so long. Now we’re here together
to pay you visit Kaoru.
“ How have you been Kaoru?” Toshiya said to the tomb of Kaoru.
“ You see, I have your sweet heart now.” Die said while embracing
Toshiya’s waist.
Toshiya pinch Die’s hand and pushed him aside. Die obediently
stands aside pretending to be sobbing. Toshiya glared at him and then look back
to Kaoru’s. “ Kaoru I’m now with Die.”
“ I have finally won the battle.” Die starts to talk again.
“ Don’t touch me for a week!”
“ Totchi!??”
“ You’re too noisy!” Toshiya glared at Die.
“ …… “
Toshiya’s handphone ring, still the same old tune.
“ Moshi Moshi?” Toshiya answered.
Toshiya talked for a while before hanging up. “ It’s Shinya.”
Toshiya added.
“ Is he coming?”
“ Nope, he’s still oversea for his honeymoon.”
Die laugh again when he think of the day Shinya getting marry. How
clumsy that guy had been!
Shortly, Toshiya and Die bid goodbye to Kaoru and left with their
hands holding together.
Swinging on Toshiya’s neck was a necklace with a diamond ring
chain on it.
The stars glitter just like thousand millions of diamond
in the sky…it will away be there just like my love for you…
The End
[1/3/02]