I didn't know what to say. I wanted to blurt out that the idea of that submission was making me terrified...But I didn't. "Buffy..." I began, looking down at the ring on her finger. Her gaze followed it, and she began to shake. "I...I was only engaged before, because I knew it was what I had to do to keep my sister happy."
"You're always trying to make it up to her!" Buffy exclaimed suddenly. "What did you do that hurt her so badly in the past? She loves you so much, and yet you're still yearning to make her proud. What did you do?"
"I told our father to leave," I confessed for the first time in fifteen years. I remembered that day so clearly. "My mom had been so sick, and my father had gone too far by making a comment about how lazy she was by staying in bed all day. He was always so inconsiderate. So selfish. I'd lost it and punched my father so hard that I felt his nose break with the force of my punch. Then I'd told him to leave. To never come back. And he didn't. Willow cried for days on end. I raised her when our mother died, and ever since that day...I just can't make it up to her. She had depended on having a strong male there for her."
**
"She did," I told him. "She had you." I took a deep breath, and then threw caution to the wind. I had to tell him how I felt. Honesty time. "Angelus, I want you. I want to marry you. To love you...But if you can't love me in return, I can't have anything from you. I want everything, or nothing."
He surprised me then by whispering, "so take all of me."
**The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth**
Angelus lifted me into his arms, keeping his eyes locked on mine; his gaze never wavering. He carried me from the bathroom, into the adjoining bedroom. I slid my fingers up and down the back of his neck, unable to keep a small smile from creeping onto my face. Who could have thought that I'd ever find someone like him? He was everything I ever dreamed of, and everything I dreaded finding for fear that I'd lose myself and fall helplessly in love. Now that I'm there, I can't imagine being anywhere else but in his arms.
His movements were slow, and I didn't once feel as if his step was burdened by my weight, or that he was rushing. He was taking his time, floating across the room with me in his arms. Finally reaching the bed, he laid me down, taking the time to remove the towel from around my chest. He smiled then, and leaned down to kiss me.
I move up the bed to the pillows, laying back as he continued to kiss me; making no move to deepen the kiss. His lips were like a prayer against my own; gentle and worshipping, taking the time to show respect and thankfulness, as well as asking for an eternity of love and peace. I wanted to pray back, but this was his time. He was in control. And for now, all I could do was enjoy.
**Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated. I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above**
His left hand slid down the shallow valley between my breasts, making me quiver in nervous anticipation. Our first time had been passionate and all-consuming, with fires burning inside of us that couldn't be put out slowly. This time, we had time for everything. There was no desperation, just an overall need to satisfy one another, and express the love that we felt burning deep inside.
Moving his hand to my breast, he abandoned my lips and moved down my jaw, placing tender kisses everywhere. I laid my head back and shut my eyes, giving in to the urge of simply feeling him. A smile crept over my face as he blew a breath of air across my skin. He was teasing me!
Moving downwards, he placed kisses along the undersides of my breasts, making me sigh and moan in contentment. His fingers guided his way down my stomach, tickling my skin with teasing touches and gentle caresses. He took time to dip his tongue into my belly button and swirling it around the sensitive skin of my stomach. He kissed my hip bones, making me shake. I was so incredibly nervous. Every fibre of my being was dancing in excitement, and I couldn't get my heartbeat to return to normal. Nothing was normal. I wished this could be the way I'd always feel, but for now I simply accepted it as a piece of heaven. A piece of heaven that could be my own.
**I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life**
At the first touch of his tongue to my heated depths, I screamed. I'd never imagined that one touch could make me shiver so much. I tried to pull his head closer, but he wouldn't let me. Linking his fingers through my own, he continued his assault, licking me from top to bottom, and ending with a little swirl in my core.
I released his hands to grip the sheets beneath me. With his hands free, he was able to hold my hips down so that I couldn't move. He wanted full power over me. He thrust his tongue deep inside of me as his thumb moved to my clit to massage me gently. I moaned, feeling the pleasure building. Circling his tongue firmly over the skin beneath his thumb, I gasped his name. He started a rhythm of circles around my clit, his thumb continuing to apply pressure to me while his free hand held me down.
"Oh please," I whispered, my eyes clamping shut and my teeth nipping at my lips for release. "Angelus, please!" Upon hearing his name, he removed his thumb, and thrust two fingers into my wet channel. Applying his tongue to my clit to feel my reactions, he smiled. His fingers began a firm, driving rhythm that made me gasp in time to his thrusts.
I found my release then; lights exploding behind my eyes as I screamed his name, grabbing a pillow to bury my face in. I shrieked as he drew out my pleasure, moving the direction of his fingers slightly and initiating a second orgasm. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, he nipped at my bud, sending me into a third wave of intensity. I began to sob, needing to get away from his lips and his fingers before I exploded.
"No, please no," I whispered, sitting up to try to lift his head with my hands. He would have none of it, releasing a growl against my clit, which sent me into a fourth climax with the next thrust of his fingers. I fell back on the pillows, giving up my fights and convulsing through my fourth wave of ecstasy.
**Rain falls angry on the tin roof,
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival; you're my living proof,
My love is alive not dead.**
Licking me clean, Angelus slid back up my body, to smile down at me. "You're wearing too much," was all I could say as my fingers moved to the bottom of his sweater, ready to take over some of our love-making. He'd had the control for entirely too long.
Pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it away, I was free to explore the firm muscles of his back. He held himself over me by bracing his hands on either side of my head. That wasn't right. I wanted to feel him crushing me, pressing down onto me. I a quick motion, I knocked his hands out from the bed, and he fell onto me.
Chuckling, he told me, "all you had to do was ask." Capturing my lips for a kiss, he rolled us over so that I was laying on his stomach. I could feel him poking at the confines of his pants, and I wanted nothing more than to release him. But I was intrigued by the taste of myself on his lips, so I lingered; tasting and teasing his tongue with my own.
Finally releasing from the kiss, I slid down his long, muscular body. I kissed over his chest, taking time to lay praise to his tight male nipples. He was so incredible. Every delectable inch of him. I took my time to lick over his hard ab muscles, perfected from years of physical activity in one way or another. Hooking my fingers in his pants, I began working on the buttons of his jeans. Unzipping him slowly, to make him wait a little longer, I began to slide his pants off of him. He lifted his hips to assist me, and I couldn't help laughing once. His eager attitude was beginning to weigh on his calm, collected demeanour.
**Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated-I'll hang from your lips,
And stand at the gallows of heartache, that hang from above.**
Removing his clothing completely, I gazed up at him from where I was. His eyes showed so many things. Adoration. Hope. Passion. Desire. Need. I saw a flicker of Love, and I couldn't help smiling. Some people said you can't see someone's thoughts through their eyes. I say 'they' were wrong. I could see everything Angelus was feeling, everything he was thinking, and everything he was hoping. It was so simple to see, because I felt exactly the same way that I knew he did.
Lowering my head again, I placed a tender kiss to the tip of his erection, making him jump at the contact. Smiling, I did it again. He chuckled and said, "you're enjoying this way too much, aren't you?"
"You have no idea," I placed another kiss to the base of him. Continuing my gentle ministrations, I placed kisses and licks all around him. He groaned deep in the back of his throat, encouraging me on. I finally gave pity to him, and took him in my mouth. He gasped at the contact. He was so cold between my lips, and so large. It was hard to take him in without gagging, but I dealt with it by swallowing down when I felt my gag reflex kicking, allowing me to take more of him. My hands began a gentle stroking rhythm, which sent his head back onto the pillows in submission.
Moments later, I could feel how ready he was. He was so close to the edge, and for some reason he was holding back on me. I felt his hands then, lifting my head ever-so-gently so that he could stroke his fingers over the lines of my jaw. "Baby, you have to stop. I want to feel you around me." With that, he lifted me up to him, kissing me with a hungry passion that left me breathless.
**I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life**
He flipped us again, remembering that I wanted his weight on me, and opting for not holding himself off my chest. I nipped at his lips as I felt him hard against my thigh, asking for entrance. I spread my legs wider for him and cradled his hips between my knees. He nodded his head at the question in my eyes, and began to slide into me.
I gasped as he slid in all the way, feeling my muscles trying to take him deeper than humanly possible for me. Once in all the way, he kissed me tenderly. "Angelus?" I asked after the kiss ended.
He looked down at me, and it was like he just knew what I was asking, without having to speak the words. "I love you," he whispered. "I don't know when it happened," he smirked, "but I love you."
"I love you," I whispered as he drew out of me again. "So much," as I finished the words, he thrust back inside of me, removing all other thoughts or possible doubts from my mind. All I wanted, was to feel him.
**I've been dropped out, burned up,
fought my way back from the dead.
Tuned in, turned on,
Remembered the things that you said.**
His rhythm began to pick up speed with every thrust into me. Every time he pulled out, I felt like I wasn't right. I wasn't complete. Sensing this, he didn't linger long before pushing back inside of me. Kissing me with all he had in his soul, his pace increased that final notch, sending me into spasm as his fingers slid to pinch my nipples.
"Angelus!" I gasped against his lips, shutting my eyes tightly. He placed his lips over my jaw as he came. Looking back, I realize he was kissing my scar. He wasn't cringing at my small imperfection, but laying his claim to it. "Buffy," he gasped as he pumped into me, filling me, making me complete.
**If you try and don't succeed, cheat.
Then lie.**
I sighed in Angelus' arms, feeling like the sated, loved woman that I'd come to realize I was. Kissing his neck, I shut my eyes and allowed my mind to drift away to thoughts of what we'd done together.
"Where'd you get that scar?" Angelus' voice broke through the misty fog of peace that I'd been floating around in. "The one under your jaw."
"You really want to know?" I asked, a brief blanket of doubt muddling my gaze. At his nod, I took a deep breath. "I was engaged when I was eighteen. I know, it's hard to believe, but trust me. It happened. I even had the ring. This crummy little thing that had a flake of a diamond, promising nothing." I laughed at the pathetic memory. "And one night, I found my fianc� cheating on me. I took off the ring and gave it back to him. But that sort of pissed him off. He threw the ring at me, and it skimmed my jaw. I had two stitches. He threw it kinda hard," I sighed, "it's weird though, cause...I felt worse about breaking the engagement, then he did about losing me or hurting me." I looked up at him and said. "I guess that goes to show you that you can't trust just anyone."
"Will you trust me?" he asked, his voice low as he watched my eyes.
I nodded. "I already do."
"Will you marry me?" his voice was hesitant, unsure of what I would say in response. I could see the mottled colors of his eyes, telling me that he wanted me to say 'yes'. But saying 'yes', I knew, would be too easy.
So instead, I lifted my left hand and said, "I already am."
He smiled, taking my hand in his hand, and placing a gentle kiss over the large ring on my finger. "I'm going to spoil you rotten, baby," he kissed my knuckles. "Anything you ever want-you'll get ten of."
"I don't need that," I told him honestly. "I just need you."
Suddenly, the door burst open and an enraged Willow flew into the room. "You!" she pointed at me accusingly, "get out of my brother's bed, you...you...imposter!" She was extremely flustered.
"What?" I sat up, clutching the sheets to my naked chest. Angelus simply chuckled behind me, stretching his arms to pillow his head. "Wil, what are you talking about? What's wrong?" I asked.
"James left a big message that it turns out that a Miss Buffy Summers, was never engaged to Angelus D'Aestas. He was engaged to Darla DeLaine!" She spoke to me in a snotty, peeved manner. Looking to her amused brother, she said, "just what do you have to say for yourself? I mean, I thought Buffy was your fianc�! Now I find out she's not! What am I supposed to believe?" Turning back to me, she said, "so you! You...Whoever you are!-Get out of my brother's bed, and get out of this house!"
Sighing, I lifted my left hand and showed Willow the ring, which made her stop. "Wil, there's a few things your brother needs to explain," I said that part forcefully, looking back at Angelus to let him know what I meant. "But trust me, your brother and I are engaged. He was engaged to someone else before, but now he's engaged to me. So relax, okay?"
"I feel like such a spaz," her face dropped. "I'm a...a...A spaz monkey. I spaz at people, and they don't need to be spazzed at." She looked so remorseful over having yelled like she did. "I'm sorry Buffy. I'm a spaz. A bad spazzer. Can you forgive m-Oh my God! You guys are naked!" Her eyes widened in horror. "We'll talk later," she assured us, holding her hands in front of her eyes as she headed back towards the door. "Oh my God they're naked!" she exclaimed as she shut the door behind her.
As she walked from the door, we could hear her talking to herself, "good job, Willow. Waltz right in on a big sex fest! Good job. You have a knack for disturbing people. No wonder no one wants to sleep with you. You always ruin the moment!"
I ran a hand through my now-dry hair. "I'm thinking of writing a book," I chuckled. "Maybe a How-To guide for messing up scams by falling in love with your scam-ee and then befriending his family."
Angelus held out his arms and pulled me back into his chest. "What would this book be called, lover?"
I smiled, "I don't know. Something catchy, though. Maybe something like...Wife For A Day." I laughed. "What do you think?"
"A day's not long enough," he told me. "I'm thinking something a Hell of a lot longer. Maybe something like...'Fianc� For A Day, Lover For A Life Time'. How's that one sound to you?"
"Mm, catchy ring," I agreed. Leaning down, I kissed him softly, "I guess we better get started on that whole 'lifetime' thing then, hmm?"
"Definitely," he agreed.
~~