Gazing at the phone the next morning, I sighed. I had to call Willow and tell her that James was a creep, and that Buffy and I had broken the engagement. But how could I tell her something like that? Sure, I had no problem telling her about James, but what about Buffy? If I told her that, then it really would be over between Buffy and I...Forever.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't make the call. I'd make it as soon as I got back to La, I assured myself. I just couldn't do it now. If I did, I'd be able to feel her sadness through the short distance from the hotel to the house. No, I had to wait and do it when I wouldn't be able to feel the tug of her heart breaking as she sobbed on the bathroom floor.
I'm such a bad man.
**
The next few days flew by in an unemployed, heart-broken mess. I should have guessed this much would come from my stupidity. I needed money to pay the electrical bill, but still I couldn't find it in myself to cash Angelus' cheque. I stared at it three nights in a row, falling asleep to the sight of his signature.
I knew I wouldn't cash it.
I couldn't.
That left me to the eternal nightmare of hunting for a new job. I hurried all over the city, looking for a place of employment, but to my dismay, I was having no luck. For lunch, I stopped in a little cafe on main street, hoping to distract myself from my woes with a fresh salad and a steaming cup of coffee to calm my nerves.
That's when tragedy became death.
"Buffy!" a familiar voice called happily. I turned, and almost stopped breathing at the site of Willow coming towards me, locking her BMW and jogging down the street towards where I was sitting on the patio of the little cafe.
She came over and sat down in the empty seat across from me. "Imagine seeing you here!" she said, more than happy to see me. "This is my favourite cafe! They have amazing Greek pasta salad here. What did you have?"
I motioned to my empty salad bowl, "a sprinkle of blue cheese and I'm good to go," I told her with a smile.
"What are you doing in Palm Beach still?" she asked curiously. "Angelus went home three days ago. I thought you went with him."
It took me less than a second to realize what that meant. Angelus hadn't told her we weren't engaged just yet. Oh great. That's just great! Not.
I covered easily, figuring it wasn't my place to let her in on the little secret that I wasn't actually engaged to her brother. "No," I shrugged, "I thought I'd stick around for a while and do some shopping and such. You know? Take in the sights."
"That's great!" she said happily. "I'm doing the same right now. We can shop together for the afternoon! Get to know each other a little bit better."
"I guess so," I smiled, despite the fact that inwardly, I was about to scream.
~~
Willow shocked me further, by insisting on buying some new thongs and bras for the honeymoon with James in Tahiti, Fiji, and Maui. I almost cringed at the mention of her sleezeball, dirty fianc�, but I checked my anger and hostility, and agreed to go along shopping with her.
She insisted that we model everything we tried on, a bit like a movie montage, and I hesitantly agreed. She was so insistent on it, despite how nervous and shy she could seem at times, so how could I say no? She was opening up to me, and it felt good to be a friend to her. I understood now why Angelus only wanted to make her happy. She was just so sweet and innocent, that the idea of hurting her or letting her feel bad, was completely disgusting and appalling.
Goofing around with Willow in the Ladies change rooms, turned out be funner than I expected. I hated the idea that soon she wouldn't want to talk to me when she found out that I wasn't really engaged to her brother, and I'd lied to her. But for now, I simply enjoyed dancing around like a complete goof with her.
Dancing to the Thong Song, we modeled sexy lingerie, crazy push-up bras, and even corset-style outfits that we both confessed to never having the confidence to wear, even in front of our 'future significant others'.
I had no money to buy anything, and despite the fact that I found several things I liked, I had to put them back. Willow noticed and asked, "what are you doing? I thought you said things worked for you."
"I, um...I realized I forgot my card," I played it off by acting like I hated my own stupidity. "I feel like I left home without my head or something."
Willow laughed. "That's no problem. Just charge it to my brother's card. I have the number and everything. After all, you're still engaged, aren't you?"
I smiled then as I realized just how to get back at Angelus for not telling Willow the truth. "Yes," my smiled broadened, "we're still engaged."
~~
I was still trying to get my mind in order, and forget about Buffy, six days after arriving home. I shocked myself completely, by actually buying the engagement ring that she had worn when she was my bride-to-be for a night. Three nights in a row now, I had held it in my hand as I fell into an exhausted slumber.
What was wrong with me? It was like I was feeling what heart break must feel like. Plus, there was the added fact that in Willow's mind, I was still engaged to Buffy. Every day that I let this faux marriage continue, I knew I would only be hurting my sister more when she finally found out the truth.
Why can't things just be simple?
My cell phone rang then, and I remembered that I had been expecting a call from my accountant. I opened it and sighed, "D'Aestas here."
"Sir," my accountant, Tim, spoke in that stuffy British accent of his. "You wanted to know if any cheques had been cashed, yes?"
"Yes," I answered, holding my breath to hear the answer. Had she cashed it? So far, she hadn't, which made me wonder if maybe she was holding on to it in the frame of mind that it was a memory of me.
It was wishful thinking, but it couldn't be helped.
"No cheques have been cashed, sir," he told me. "But there have been some charges added to your tab in a lingerie store in Palm Beach."
Probably Willow. She has millions of her own, but she still likes charging things to my account from time to time. "Who signed for them, Tim?" I asked with a sigh, sitting back in my chair and putting my feet up on my desk.
"A Miss. Buffy Summers."
I fell backwards in my chair.
~~
What was little Miss. Buffy up to? Why was she spending my money, but not cashing my cheque? Was she some type of scammer that got to my sister and finagled the number to my charge accounts from her? According to my sister, they'd spent a wonderful afternoon together, and gone shopping.
Of course, I still didn't tell Willow the truth.
Without a second thought, I boarded a flight to Palm Beach. I had to know just what the devious little blonde girl was up to. Through my contacts, I'd found little information about my preciously fake bride, except that she had just gotten a job at a coffee shop in the city, and that she lived alone in an apartment in the south end.
Not the best conditions for a fantastic scam artist, but definitely possible.
I handed the address of the coffee shop to the limo driver, and watched the nightlife of Palm Beach's main strip pass me by. I told the driver to stop a block or so down from the shop, so that I could walk in without causing a scene in the limo, or being too obvious about coming to find Buffy.
Walking into the coffee shop, I was met with the sight of Buffy Summers, the woman my heart was yearning for, in a short, black dress; serving coffee to a bunch of strangers. I took a seat in one of the booths in the back of the room, and waited for her to come over to me. She looked so tired when she finally came and placed the menu in front of me.
Good. She should look tired. Serves her right.
"What can I get for you?" she asked, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably due to her current state of exhaustion.
"I'd like an order of Truth, with some Explanation, and My Money Back, on the side. Thanks so much," I smiled brightly at her as her eyes lifted to meet my own.
"Oh my God!" she gasped.
"That's right, Buffy." I smiled and let my eyes widen in a maniacal way. "It's God!" I was on a natural high with this whole 'intimidation' thing. I knew that I was enjoying this way too much.
She dropped into the seat across from me and said, "Willow pushed me to do it. I didn't even want to shop with her! But you didn't tell her the truth, and I couldn't openly hurt her like that, so I went along with it." Her words came out in a frantic rush that sounded like she had planned her explanation. "I can pay you back if you want. I haven't even cashed the cheque yet! You can have it back, if you want."
"When do you get off?" I asked calmly.
"I get off at two," she said, "but I have a break in ten minutes."
"Good," I took off my jacket. "You'll spend that break, and every other break, here with me. Then you'll come somewhere with me when you get off work."
"What?" she was confused. Shaking her head, "no. I won't. You didn't tell your sister the truth, so I had to deal with the repercussions of it. I think you should leave now, before I remember that I'm pissed off at you, and I don't owe you a damn thing." With that, she got up and went back to serving coffee.
She'd be back. I knew.
Feisty little one though, isn't she?
**
My break came, and I slumped into the seat across from Angelus, knowing that I'd regret it later. "So what are you doing here?" I started the conversation to keep myself from thinking about how damn good he looked, sitting across from me in all black.
"Enjoying some coffee, talking with my fianc�. What about you?" I raised my cup and took a sip of the hot, steamy liquid.
She sighed, "look, can you just tell me what you want? You've already gotten me fired from one job. I don't need the bother of having to look for another. What are you doing here, Angelus?" I could tell be the look in her eyes that she was serious, and she was dead tired. Poor little thing. So tired. So worn-out.
Me too.
"I'm not going anywhere with you later," she said slowly. "I have to get to bed, cause I get up early. I'd go with you, but...I just can't." She stood up then. "I'm sorry. I have things to do now."
"You're on your break!" I protested.
"Not anymore," she said, and started to walk away.
"Buffy!" I called to her, and she stopped and turned to face me once again. "I'll be back in a week or so...Will you do something with me then?"
She smiled and said, "let's see what happens. Maybe."
**
I was surprised beyond belief when I left the coffee shop promptly at 2:15 AM, to see Angelus leaning against a limousine, waiting for me. His left ankle was crossed casually over his right, and his arms were folded comfortably at his chest. He smiled when he saw me and said, "you're late."
"I told you I can't go anywhere," I reminded him, hating that he could make me want him so badly despite how annoying I should think he was.
He grinned then, "I know." Coming over to where I was, he took my hand. he led me to the limousine with no room for protests. He opened the door and helped me in. "But that doesn't mean I can't make sure you get home safely."
The limo ride was long, and generally uneventful. About five minutes into the ride, Angelus slid to the seat next to me, and slid an arm around my shoulders. I knew I shouldn't give in, but the larger part of my brain was-momentarily, of course-caught up in the feel of his strong arms pulling me close. I didn't move to make his job easier, but I allowed him to pull me into his embrace entirely.
I was so tired from working these night shifts. Why did I have to go and get myself fired from my normal job at Edmunds, in the first place? Angelus sensed how tired I was, and he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "lie down." He sealed his words with a flick of his tongue over my ear lobe, making me shiver.
It was wrong to do as he said, but I did it anyways. I stretched my feet out on the seat, and laid down on my side, so that my head-I admit now-was directly in his lap. He stroked his hands through my long hair, putting me to sleep with his motions. It wasn't fair that he could do this to me. Why couldn't I be this powerful over him?
**
By the time my driver informed me that we were at Buffy's apartment building, Buffy had fallen asleep. I hated the thought of waking her, so I carried her bridegroom style, into her apartment building. I whispered in her ear as we rode the elevator to the apartment that matched the number on the key that I had found in her purse.
The most difficult task was manoeuvring the door open with her in my arms. But somehow, I managed just fine.
Buffy's apartment was basic and small. There wasn't a lot along the lines of decoration. Some pictures of her, of people in her life. A few plants here and there. A living room couch, a small TV, a stereo and a rack of various CDs. Her kitchen and bathroom were equipped with the basic necessities. Her bedroom was decorated more than the rest of her house, with trophies from school competitions, more pictures, girly things, and boxes of things everywhere, giving me the distinct impression that she had moved in just recently.
I pulled back the large, white duvet of her double-sized bed, and went about the task of taking off her little dress. I moved very slow, so as not to wake her as I revealed her precious little body clad only in basic, dark blue panties and bra. I respected her privacy enough, to resist stealing a peak beneath the lacy material of her lingerie. I dressed her again, in a blue tank top, and some black jogging pants. Then I carefully settled her under the blankets.
She looked so peaceful there. So sweet. So innocent. So young. I couldn't resist looking for some paper and a pencil to sketch her image. Finding some computer paper in the living room where her small computer was set up, and a pencil in the corner of the room, I sat down next to her on the bed, and took the time to sketch her image onto the paper, and into my memory.
I studied-memorized-every line of her face, from the slight curve of her nose, to the firm cuts of her jaw. The small scar under her chin. I wondered where she got that. How old was she? Who did it to her? I was aware that I'd never bothered-or cared-before, to find out these things about the women that I lusted after. But then again, I already knew that Buffy was as different from those women as anyone could be.
And I loved that about her.
Slipping from the room, leaving the picture next to her pillow with a note that promised, "Soon"-I left her to her dreams. I could only hope-I knew now-that I would be in them.
**
Waking up, the first thing I realized was that I didn't remember the night before. I got off work, and then what?...Angelus. Oh no! I must have fallen asleep on his lap like some skank! So where the Hell am I now? Opening my eyes, I looked around at the familiar setting of my room. Now the next question...Had I done anything with him? I looked down, and was surprised to find myself dressed in jogging pants and a tank. Had he changed me? The feeling of my underwear and bra still on, made me breathe a temporary sigh of relief. Maybe he hadn't looked...Maybe.
That's when I noticed the paper on the pillow next to me. I flipped it over and examined the picture of me as I slept. I was in awe at the image before me. He made me look so peaceful. He made me look so beautiful. He saw things in me that I'd never seen, and he drew them to perfection's peak. The note attached promised, "Soon" and I had to wonder whether 'soon' would be soon enough.
For 'soon'...I would be going mad.
**
I didn't sleep at all the night before, and now over my morning coffee and paper, I'm starting to regret it. Looking down at the engagement ring that had once adorned Buffy's elegant fingers, I couldn't help feeling almost sad. Why was it that she could affect me like this? It wasn't fair. Why can't I have the abilities to wave such a powerful affect over her every move...Every breath...Every heart beat.
~~
I was expecting to tell Willow soon. I was expecting to see Buffy again. I was expecting something to go wrong. But what I wasn't expecting, was a phone call from a distraught Willow three days later. She sobbed into the phone in such a loud tone, that I could barely make out the words she was crying.
Only one sentence was apparent. "He cheated on me!"
It took me several hours to calm down my little sister. I said many times, "he wasn't good enough for you." And I said, "he didn't deserve you.," along with, " you're better off without him, Wil."
"Angelus, can I come stay with you and Buffy for a few days?" came her quaky voice at the end of her hysterics.
Oh boy.