My final fitting for my dress had just been the day before, and I couldn�t be happier with the results. The dress was long and elegant. The thick straps led to a low neck, much like the dress from when I had dinner at the D�Aestas manor. But this one was quite different. It had a train of light, see-through fabric of the same shade of dark blue, that hung off the low-cut back of the gown. The dress hugged around my stomach, and then it simply flowed down. With every move I made, the dress flowed all around my legs in an elegant and graceful manner.
The shoes designed for the gown were a shining silver. They had a strap-design that did up all around my foot and my ankles. They gave me the extra height I needed to be able to stand anywhere close to everyone else. Being naturally short, it was often hard for me to find shoes that lifted me to the right height, but these did the trick just fine.
A thin, platinum choker was designed for the dress as well, and off it hung a small, blue diamond. There was a matching platinum and blue diamond tennis bracelet and earrings.
My hair had been pulled off my face, but left down in soft waves. My make up had been done in a way that accented my bright eyes and my dazzling smile.
Willow came up to bring me down to the front doors at around eight on Friday evening.
�Buffy, he�s here,� she told me.
�Alright. I�ll be right there,� I said.
She closed the door to give me a moment to grab my thoughts. I gazed in to the mirror, and had no doubts in my mind as to who �he� was. It was Angelus, and for some reason I just couldn�t seem to make up my mind about him.
For one thing, I knew I should stay away. But at the same time, there was something about him that made me want to get closer.
When I was forewarned about him, I had thought he would be just as Willow explained. A typical, rich, womanizing socialite with no emotion for anything but himself. But when I met him at the D�Aestas manor, I was compelled to think otherwise.
At the D�Aestas manor, he was sweet and charming. And when we went riding and he almost kissed me down by the lake�
I had wanted so badly to kiss him there, and it had scared me so much. I was so frightened by the intensity of him. I couldn�t believe how much it made me tremble. I wanted so badly to be able to call him my own, and yet I didn�t even know him.
However, I wasn�t so na�ve as to not consider that perhaps he had simply set out to toy with me and tease me. But even though I didn�t know his routines for such things, I somehow doubted that it was the case with us. It just didn�t seem to be.
Ever since the lake, he had been on my mind. Those dark, dark eyes that made me stare. That perfect smile that took my breath away as if I was a character in some romance novel. That beautiful face that reminded me just why he was named Angel. And finally, those broad shoulders, strong arms, and overall tall form that could only be compared to one of those Greek Gods. The basic picture of masculine perfection.
Plus his laugh was contagious, his personality was addictive, and his overall aura screamed that he was not at all like he was described by the rich, rude, and socially obsessive community here, at Devil�s Gorge.
I emerged from my room, and took my time through the halls to the grand staircase.
I peered around the corner when I heard the voice of my father, along with the voice that I recognized as Angel�s. I waited for just a moment, to hear what they were saying.
�Well, true,� my father said. �But at the same time, Angelus, she is wild and untamed. I don�t know what can be done with her.�
Are they talking about me? I wondered to myself. I�m not wild and untamed. I�m calm and collected�I think.
I listened closely as Angel responded. �I know, but deep down, I think she�s generally intrigued by the chance offered to her,� Angel said. �I know that I would be.�
Chance for what? My mind was asking a million questions every second, and it was difficult to separate one thought from another.
�Yes,� my father laughed heartily then. �But Angelus, you must remember that you are not a horse.�
I�m not a horse! I thought angrily. Then I realized that they weren�t talking about me at all. They were talking about a horse. Well, that should teach me not to eaves drop, who knows what kind of ideas I could gather from that little bit about a horse.
I decided that then, was a good time to make my appearance, seeing as how there was a pause in the conversation. I took a deep breath to calm myself, and wandered around the corner to the top landing of the grand staircase.
My sudden presence caused my father, Angelus, and Willow-who I hadn�t been aware of before-to look up at me.
My father smiled brightly when he saw me, and Willow was beaming proudly as she watched me. Angelus simply stared. At first, he showed no emotion or acknowledgement, but then a charming smile broke across his features.
�Darling,� my father was the first to speak. �You look ravishing!�
I smiled at him and said, �thank you, father.� Then I started going down the stairs.
When I was two steps from the floor, Angelus stepped forward. I offered my hand, and he took it and kissed it-all the while, never taking his eyes off of mine. His smile remained, and after kissing my knuckles tenderly, he said in a low voice, �you look wonderful, Buffy.�
I knew that I was blushing, but I tried my best not to show it. �Thank you,� I said politely. Since I was raised on heels and the stairs, I found for the first time that I could see his eyes clearly. And I was not disappointed with what I saw. They were magnificent.
�I hope the fact that you did not wish to accompany this evening, won�t hinder you from enjoying yourself just the same,� there was a sparkle in his eyes as he baited me with the statement.
I wasn�t about to let him get the best of me or cause me a moment of hesitation, so I smiled slyly at him and responded calmly, �I�ll to remember not to let it.�
He laughed slightly, and offered me his arm. I took it, and he led me down the last two steps.
~~
At the ball, I felt like I was living in a glass fish bowl. Everybody was watching me like a hawk, to see who I was, and see what I would do. On countless occasions, I heard people whisper, �that�s her!� Or, �there she is!� I tried not to let it bother me, but it was a little unnerving to be watched so closely by everyone.
Willow was a saving grace more often than not, and when I felt nervous, it seemed she was right there to give me a wink. And on the few occasions that I wasn�t with Angelus, she made sure that I wasn�t left alone to be �preyed on by the hungry vultures�-as she put it.
�How does it feel?� Angel asked me towards the middle of the ball, handing me yet another glass of champagne. I was certain that this was my fourth.
�How does what feel?� I asked, taking a sip of the bubbly liquid that made my veins and my head tingle like they were on fire.
�How does it feel to be the most watched woman here?� he asked, stepped just a little bit closer.
I still hadn�t made up my mind about Angelus yet. He had been quiet all night, but still open to hearing whatever I wanted to say, or answering anything I asked. For the most part, I think he was trying to make up his mind about me. But in doing that, he wasn�t giving me the best chance to find out about him.
�It feels awkward and unfamiliar,� I looked around the room, and then sighed. �But at the same time, it makes sense. The daughter of Frank Summers just appears out of nowhere. If I were one of them, I�d probably be doing the exact same thing.�
At this moment, he took my free hand, and looked down at it, as if trying to see my soul in my skin. He held it in his left hand, and his right fingers traced little lines on my palm. �I�m enjoying myself here with you, tonight,� he said sincerely, bringing his gaze up to my own. �I hope you�re enjoying yourself as well.�
I smiled softly, �I am.�
Then he did something I wasn�t expecting. He started to explain himself. �Buffy, I know you�ve probably heard one or two things about me from some people around you, but�I want you to try to see past what you�ve heard�To me. Because, even though some things you�ve heard could be true�I want you to build your own opinion of me.�
I didn�t exactly know how to respond to this. I looked down at his hands, holding my own. My hand looked so small compared to his. It made me nervous and intrigued at the same time. I was nervous because he was intimidating, but I was intrigued because his size and his personality made him seem so caring and protective.
I was still trying to think of what to say, when his face cracked an adorable half-smile, and he asked me in a low tone, �would you care to dance?�
I smiled then and answered, �yes.�
~~
Dancing with Angelus, I felt like the most adored woman in the world, but at the same time, I felt the most hated. It was true that most people resented Angelus for his reputation, but at the same time, it seemed that the female population of Devil�s Gorge hated me more, for taking him away from the market for the evening.
Even with my heels, I still found that I was too short to see him clearly. The top of my head came just above his shoulders, so for the most part, I was leaning my head on his chest. Looking up to see him gave me a kink in my neck, so I eventually just gave in.
�Do you hear them?� Angelus asked me in a low voice as we danced to the soft rhythm of the music.
My eyes were shut, and I smiled against his chest. I knew who he was talking about. The women. �I hear them,� I assured him. �If looks could kill, I wouldn�t have made it through the doors.�
He smiled softly and said, �neither would I.�
There was a moment of silence between us, during which my mind went crazy with thoughts. I was trying not to focus on any one thing about Angelus, but every five seconds my attention was drawn and held to a certain aspect of him.
My ear was right against his chest, and I could hear his heart beating. I shut my eyes as I listened, feeling as if his heart was beating only for me. It was a beautiful experience, and I hoped to God that this night would never end. This was the first night of peace I�d known since the accident, and the last thing I wanted to do, was end it.
Angelus� hands slid down to my lower back and held me close. Even just a simple touch, and he could make me start to quiver. I didn�t know where these sensations were coming from, and I decided that I didn�t care all that much. His head tilted downwards to watch me, and I could somehow tell that he was smiling. I didn�t have to see it, to know exactly what the expression on his face was. It seemed that with Angelus, I just knew. It was like I�d known him forever, even though that couldn�t be farther from the truth.
However, I wasn�t so lost in this fantasy that doubt wasn�t present. I was still wondering about his past. About his reputation. Everyone says that he�s a vicious man, but he hasn�t shown me anything but kindness. Could this just be a mask? Or could it be that he�s different around me? No, I wiped that possibility away. Why would he be different around me? Surely I wasn�t different around him.
**
Having Buffy in my arms was like holding heaven. For some reason, I was experiencing feelings towards her that were entirely new for me. I felt connected to her, like I had known her all of my life, instead of just a day or two.
I tilted my head downwards, and I could see her face slightly. Her eyes were shut against my chest, and her ear was against my heart. Was she listening to my heart beat? Was she aware that I was watching her? Was she aware that she was smiling?
A million thoughts were racing through my head, and my heart. For some reason, I couldn�t stop thinking about her. Her dazzling smile, beautiful features, and addictive personality were on my mind so much in the last few days. It seemed as if I couldn�t concentrate on anything else, and I barely knew her!
I slid my hands down her back, and I thought I heard her sigh softly. It was an adorable sound that made me smile. She projected innocence, even though she was a mature woman.
I had to wonder to myself, about how her mother had died, and how she had taken it. Despite the act she put on, I could tell she hated her father, so I could easily assume that she was raised primarily by her mother, if not entirely.
I was disrupted from my thoughts by the end of the song. Buffy pulled back, and I looked at her with a frown. Initially, I didn�t understand why she had pulled away. Then she started clapping, along with everyone else in the room.
I realized that the set of music was over for the time being, and I clapped as well, though I was still in a bit of a daze.
Buffy turned to face me again with a bright smile on her face. �Wasn�t that wonderful?� she asked with bright eyes.
I wasn�t sure whether she was asking about the dance, or the music, so I took her hand and said, �let�s go for a walk.�
She tensed up for a moment, and looked down at my hand; holding her own. She seemed to be ready to turn me down, but I wasn�t about to let her. Before she could speak, I did.
I tightened my grip on her hand. �I promise I�m not going to hurt you,� I attempted a small smile to calm her. She smiled back weakly, and looked down at our hands again.
She turned her upper body to look around the room. She was searching for someone, and then she stopped. She must have found whoever it was that she was looking for.
I followed her gaze to Willow and her father. I looked down at her and said again, �come on.�
She looked back at me, and her smile was so small that I barely saw it. But it was there, so I took that as her answer, and led her off the dance floor. She slowly slid her hand from mine as we walked, to hook through my bent arm. It took her a moment to adjust to my pace, but as soon as she was used to my strides, she matched my speed, which was fairly brisk.
�Where are we going?� she asked hesitantly as I led her out of the ballroom. We entered the lobby, and headed for the side doors which led to the gardens.
�Just the gardens,� I said. �I want to show you something.�
That seemed to satisfy her, and she then remained silent.
I led her through the glass doors to the lobby, and on to the large, marble deck that overlooked the gardens. She was very attentive as we walked, paying attention to any and everything.
It was a perfect night. The stars were shining above us, and the moon was shining and full. Strange how the moon can make you so anxious. It can give you a rush of adrenaline that tells you to do as much as you physically can handle until you drop from the exhaustion in to a deep slumber that will last a lifetime.
But tonight, I knew that the moon wasn�t the only reason that I was excited. It was Buffy. Having her hear with me made me feel suddenly nervous, like I was sixteen again.
I led her down the steps of the deck, to the pathways that led in every direction through the gardens. I remember the best one, and took it. The path was narrow, and Buffy had to step a little closer to me to keep from walking off the small stone path.
After a few moments, we came to a clearing. In the clearing, was a large Willow Tree.
Buffy stopped and took her arm from mine when I kept walking towards the tree. I stopped abruptly, and turned to look at her. �What�s wrong?� I asked her softly.
She looked to the tree, and then at me. �Where�Where are you talking me?� her eyes were big as she asked me, showing she was afraid and shy. All I wanted at that moment, was to soothe her fears of me.
I stepped forward and reached a hand to the side of her face, somehow unable to keep from touching her. �I�m not going to hurt you,� I assured her. �I want you to see something in the tree.
She frowned and asked, �what? A bird�s nest?�
I smiled softly, and took my hand from the side of her face. I offered it to her and said, �just trust me.�
She eyed my hand warily for a moment, and then put her hand in to my own. �I can�t believe I�m actually doing this,� she spoke as if she were truly amazed.
I smiled softly, �I�m glad you are.�
With that, I took her to the Willow tree. This tree was over two hundred years old, and the Willow branches reached all the way to the ground. With my free hand, I pulled the branches back, and stepped aside to let Buffy go in first.
She went in, and I followed her. She looked all around her and said, �I don�t see anything special.�
�Hang on,� I said. I guided her to the other side of the Willow Tree. I pulled back the branches again.
She looked up at me inquisitively. �Are you serious?� she asked me with her brow furrowed slightly.
I smiled softly, �trust me.�
She looked to the Willow branches, and finally went through. I went after her, and arrived just in time to hear her gasp.
Her hand flew to cover her mouth a she viewed the magnificent world before her. We were at the edge of the top of the gorge. We were over two thousand feet up, and below was a large lake that was sparkling like a bucket of diamonds in the moonlight.
All around the lake was Willow Trees like the one we had just gone through.
�Why do they call it Devil�s Gorge?� she asked softly after a few moments. �It�s beautiful. Like some place for angels.� She looked to me and blushed slightly as she added, �that would explain why you�re here.�
I paused, sure that if I said anything at that moment, that it would sound like I was trying to seduce her. Finally, I said, �there are more Willow trees here than any other place in the world. Many great authors and poets have come here to write. They say it�s the biggest burst of inspiration in all the world to stand right here when the sun rises. The rays of light reflect off the lake and the dew collected on the Willow trees. They say it�s like being reborn. In that one moment, you can see everything you want to be.�
I wasn�t aware that she had turned to look at me until I looked down at her to ask what she thought of the view.
She was smiling faintly up at me in the most adorable, thoughtful way. �How can someone like you have such a bad image?�
I looked away from her, suddenly feeling bad about this. I shouldn�t be up here with such a wonderful person. After all of the things I�ve done, the last thing I should be doing is befriending the sweetest, purest person in the world.
But she wanted an answer. �How?� she asked again.
I looked away from her, and then turned. I walked a few steps away from her, and then turned back again. I didn�t know what to say, but I intended to say something. �I�m not a good person,� was all I got out. To me, it sounded like it was probably the lamest thing I�d ever said to anyone.
She shook her head. �You can think that if you want, but I know you are. I don�t know everything you�ve done before,� she stepped closer to me, �but I don�t think any of that matters. The way that you�ve acted around me�It�s shown me nothing about you that would make me think otherwise. I don�t understand why people say such horrible things about you.�
�Because they�re true!� I said emphatically. �It�s all true. The lies. The cheating. Everything you�ve heard is true, and then some. I�m not a good person. I�ve done things to people you can�t even begin to think of as anything but a nightmare. And I did it all without giving a damn.�
�Like what?� she surprise me by asking.
I looked at her, wondering if she had really asked that, or if I had imagined that she cared to know anything else about me. �What?� I asked, trying to clarify.
�What have you done?� she asked again. �What have you done that�s so God-awful and mean?�
�It�It doesn�t matter,� I wasn�t even considering telling her anything about my past. I didn�t want to corrupt her beautiful mind with thoughts about my past wrong-doings.
�So why do you act like it does?� she persisted, stepping even closer. �Why do you and everyone else care what you�ve done before, because it looks to me like you�ve made a change.�
�Only since I met you,� I frowned slightly as that realization set in to my own head.
She smiled softly, and reached a hand up to my forehead. Her fingers were soft against my skin. She flicked a piece of my hair back and smiled softly, �I can�t believe that.�
There was only one thing on my mind as I stared in to her bright, glossy eyes. That was how badly I wanted to kiss her. Her lips seemed to be calling me. I couldn�t find the will to refuse them, but I knew that I had to try. My attempts fell flat after a few moments, and then, without even thinking, I said softly, �I want to kiss you.�
She smiled fondly at that and said in a hushed voice, �so what are you waiting for?�
That was all it took. My hand reached forward to her face, and I pulled her to me. Her lips were soft against mine, and suddenly I was in heaven. Her scent was all around me. It was a delicate vanilla and rose smell that described her perfectly.
She made no move to touch me, and simply let me kiss her, making a few attempts at kissing me back. Her lips opened at my tongue�s request, and I plundered her mouth, searching and discovering.
She nibbled on my lower lip, and I felt my entire body quaking for something. And for what felt like the first time in my life�I just didn�t know what.
I pulled back after a few moments, and looked in to her eyes. They were clouded with doubt and insecurity, and I felt so unnerved by how afraid she could look when she looked at me.
�Why do you always look so afraid of me?� I asked her in a voice that I didn�t intend to be as husky as it came out.
A soft sob escaped her lips, and suddenly the mood changed. She reached her hand forward and pulled my face down to hers. This time, she was the attacker. It was almost as if she was trying to conquer her fears of me. Her tongue licked across my lips, seeking my own out to play. I complied with her silent request as my hands slid down her sides, to pull her hips closer to me.
The desire I felt for her was humming through my whole being, and I couldn�t believe it had taken me so long to realize just how much I wanted this. I had initially denied my attraction for her, but now it was too overwhelming to be ignored.
I just had to have her as my own forever.