Disclaimer: Read my General Disclaimer HERE
* The song used in this fic has been done many times by various artist, but I have used the Otis Reddin version for this part. The song is "These Arms Of Mine" It belongs to the original writers, producers, and creators.*
Waking up in Angel�s arms for the second time of the morning, my heart constricted with some unidentifiable emotion as I looked into his gorgeous sleeping features. All I wanted was to stay here forever with him. If that were a possibility, I�d take it � no matter what the sacrifice. The way he knew exactly what I needed, even when I didn�t have a clue, amazed me. It was like he could read my mind�But then again, if he really could read my thoughts he�d probably have asked me to leave a long time ago. My thoughts about him were serious. I knew all too well that I was in danger here. In danger of needing. In danger of wanting more. In danger of falling in love.
But maybe I was already there.
I shook away my thoughts and glanced at the clock; realizing that it was almost 11. I should have been up over an hour ago to call Willow and Dawn. I knew they needed me now. I needed them too. As much as Angel helped me�I needed to see my girls.
So I slid from his arms, trying to move slowly and gently so as not to wake him up. But sure enough, Clumsy Buffy went to get off the bed and knocked her foot against the nightstand. �Buffy,� Angel awoke with a start � looking at me in confusion. �Where are you going?�
�I need to go see Willow and Dawn before they fly back to New York,� I explained, turning so that I could look at him. Oh God, those eyes�
�Will you be coming back? Do you want me to go with you?� he moved towards me, reaching for my hand as I reached out for his; as if he needed to touch me as much as I needed to touch him. A thought crossed my mind that he sounded almost afraid that I wouldn�t come back�that I would leave him.
I smiled softly and looked down at his hand. My smile faded and I took a risk by leaving an open-ended suggestion for him, �I�ll come back in a few hours if you want me to. But I don�t know�Maybe you want to get back to LA as soon as possible for work or something.�
He looked at me solemnly and whispered, �you know I want you to come back.�
I couldn�t say anything. He looked so honest as he spoke. It surprised and thrilled me at the same time. My head was heavy with my feelings about him�and my mom. But I was sure of one thing: I wanted Angel to want me. I wanted him to need me�because I needed him. And God knows I want him. I think by now I�ve said it a million times. And it�s as true now as it was the first time.
�Come here,� Angel reached out to pull me into his arms again. He pulled me onto his chest and wrapped his strong arms around me; molding my body to him as if we were connected. �Promise me you�ll come back,� he whispered into my hair as he kissed the top of my head.
�I will,� I told him honestly. Neither Hell nor high water could keep me away.
�Promise me?� he quested for the words he needed to hear, sounding almost vulnerable. I wouldn�t have believed that a man so strong and dark and solemn could sound so unguarded, but he did. I could feel his breath hitch in his chest as he waited for me to answer. I was confused. I thought I was the one desperate for more time together. Now it seemed as if perhaps I wasn�t alone in my wanting. But was I reading too much into things? I mean how could he feel the way I feel in such a short amount of time? As it was, I was having a hard time dealing with how I was feeling in such a short time.
Finally I did as he asked and whispered, �I promise.� I raised my head to look into his eyes. The corner of his mouth lifted slightly, expressing a hint of a smile. I leaned forward and kissed him tenderly. His lips parted slightly and he kissed my top lip gently. We laid together for several moments just kissing, until finally my mind kicked back to reality and I forced myself to end the kiss; savoring the few last moments we had together now, and then smiling as we finally separated.
�I have to go,� I said almost regretfully. �I�ll be back in a few hours.� I finally found a way to get out of his tight embrace. Crawling off the bed and glancing one last time at Angel as he lay in his bed � I finally forced myself into his bathroom. It would be so easy to crawl back into his arms and stay there.
His bathroom was incredible. All black and gray marble and limestone. You could swim in his bathtub, and his shower looked like it could fit a basketball team�or at least their cheerleaders. I know some of you must be wondering if I�ve considered that maybe Angel has done something like this before. Seduced some girl in a fragile state of mind who�s name he barely knew, and then proceeded to have days of bliss with her. I�ve wondered if maybe I�m not the first to get into a quick relationship with Angel. But one look into his eyes and it�s like any doubt fades away. I know he�s sincere. I know he�s honest. Even if he has a shady past, he�s not trying to hide it � or any part of himself. Everything I�ve asked, he�s answered. If I asked him now if he�s done anything like this before, I know that good or bad � he�d tell me the honest truth.
I just wish that I could tell him the truth about what I was feeling�or know what he was feeling. I wanted to know if he saw anything more than a fling for us. It felt so intense when we were together. So passionate, and all consuming. In everything we did it was like I could feel this connection that only grew with every kiss and every caress. He had to feel it too. Anything that strong has to be something he felt too�right?
**
I listened to the sound of Buffy showering in my bathroom. I don�t know why, but it made so much sense to have her there; using my soap, drying with my towels, and looking in my mirror. Last night when I had changed her into my shirt, I swear I looked at her for five minutes just trying to memorize the picture of her in my clothing. It felt so right to be with her and take care of her and seek mutual comfort in her embrace.
I�ve never done something like this before. Met someone and instantly gotten intimate and wanted them like this. The few people that I have actually dated in my past had allowed me to take the time to assess them before I made any move. It�s odd to admit that I�m usually the more cautious one in any relationship. It�s not that I�m afraid of being hurt. I believe that being hurt is what helps you be strong. I�ve just always felt that there�s someone out there for me and until I find that person and feel that they�re the one�I should be careful with everyone else.
But with Buffy it�s like I�m not being cautious. I�m trying with everything I have to make her want me. To make her need me. But is it doing any good? I want to be able to tell her how I�m feeling, but it�s only been a few days, and if I confessed what I felt she�d probably run screaming from me. And I really wouldn�t blame her. She must wonder if I do this often. I just wish I knew what she was thinking�what she was feeling. I needed reassurance that some of what I was feeling was mutual�even if it was only desire. I just needed something from her�anything.
Buffy emerged from the bathroom completely dressed. We continued to cart her huge suitcase around with us. I wondered constantly at how she manages to pack so much for one trip. I asked her if she�d heard of the concept �travelling light�. She said something along the lines of, �what if I change my mind about what I want to wear?� Her sweet voice and charming features had melted my heart at that moment. She looked so innocent. So pure. And so perfect.
She looked gorgeous as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen dressed in some basic dark, low-riding jeans and a pale pink halter top that made her tanned skin and golden hair stand out. Her hair was hanging around her shoulders with natural waves; part of it clipped back off her face with a pink flower clip. A tiny pink purse hung off her arm. I couldn�t imagine what she could possibly fit in there. I smiled softly at her as I took in the vision of the most beautiful woman in the world�in my kitchen.
Finally she broke the silence. �Umm�I used your tooth brush,� she motioned with her hand back towards the bathroom. �I think I might have forgotten mine at the hotel cause I couldn�t find it,� she looked so timid as she admitted what she�d done. Inwardly I smiled. She had used my toothbrush! The second she left I knew I would run to the bathroom and use it too, just to savor the thought that she had used it too.
�Help yourself to whatever you want,� I smiled at her. There was a moment of silence between us as I simply watched her in my home. When she looked down seeming a little embarrassed, I broke the mood by saying, �I made you breakfast.�
�Oh,� she seemed surprised. �Oh, uh�No. I can�t stay for breakfast. I told Willow and Dawn that I�d meet them for lunch in like half an hour.�
I felt kind of let down. I had wanted to show off my culinary skills to her. Apparently I was a great cook. �Oh,� I looked away, �some other time then.� I turned back and turned off the large silver stove.
**
The only word that came to mind was Cute. Adorable, to be exact. He had made me breakfast, and he seemed genuinely disappointed that I couldn�t stay to eat it. It wasn�t that I was afraid of the dreaded �One Night Stand Morning After Breakfast� scene, because I knew that wasn�t what I was to Angel. I still didn�t know exactly what he thought of me as. But I knew that it was more than a one-night stand.
I smiled at the site of him naked except for the pair of jeans he had slid on to his gorgeous body, and moved further into the kitchen. I set my purse down on the table that was too big for one person to eat at, and moved towards Angel. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and leaned my head against his bare back. His muscle flexed as I slid my hands over his tight ab muscles. His hands slid over my own and we stood there for a few moments in silence until finally he turned round to hold me in his arms. One hand wrapped around my waist, and the other slid to my chin so he could raise my face up to look into my eyes.
�You�ll come back?� he asked yet again. I smiled and nodded softly. He smirked at me and leaned down to kiss me tenderly. I could feel his free hand rubbing my ear lobe gently; such a soothing caress. I longed to be able to stay, but I knew I had to go. The girls needed me, and I needed them.
We kissed for a moment, until finally we parted and I said for the hundredth time, �I have to go.� He pressed one more gentle kiss to my lips and then patted me on hips with both hands, �Ok. Go.� His voice sounded almost strained, like he was restraining himself from saying something. I wanted to know what it was, but I didn�t think I had time. One thing was for sure�I was coming back.
**
�I�ll be back in a few hours,� Buffy promised as she picked up her tiny purse and headed for the door of the kitchen. I pulled my crumbling heart together and followed her to the door of the apartment. Opening the door for her like a gentleman I stopped her for one last kiss before saying, �I�ll be waiting.�
She smiled and raised a hand to the side of my face. Then she whispered, �bye.�
I kissed her hand and squeezed it gently. �Bye.� And then she went out the door. I watched her go down the small flight of stairs that led to the elevator. Unable to keep from watching her, I stepped out of my apartment and went to the stairs. Looking down over the banister, I could watch her waiting for my private penthouse elevator. She looked up at me and smiled. She waved girlishly as the elevator finally came to her, and just like that she was gone. I laughed slightly and turned back to go in through the door to my condo.
I shut the door behind me and headed for my bedroom. My apartment was an open-concept so you could see everything from anywhere. I liked to be able to see it all. My place in New York was close to the same style. I gazed at the bed where Buffy and I had been.
Where we had made love.
I was sure by now that that was what we were doing. Sex could never feel this intimate. Whenever Buffy and I were intimate, the connection was so strong and undeniable that I knew we were making love. I�ve never made love before, but I knew that was what it was without a doubt. The tangled, tossed sheets and blankets made me long to be back there with her; wrapped in the comfort of her arms and the gray silk. I would give anything to have her back in my arms.
�Angel!� I heard a voice break through my thoughts.
I turned around to see a flash of blonde come running through the door of my apartment. �Buffy?� I wondered out loud just before she leapt into my arms and kissed me breathlessly.
It took me but a moment of shock before I responded to her kiss. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her up off the ground. Reasons could be damned. All I knew was that she was back in my arms � even if it was for just a few moments.
**
The elevator doors had closed, and my heart had broken. I knew I would break down and cry if I didn�t run back to his arms for jus one more minute. I had raced up the stairs and through his unlocked apartment door, calling his name. And there he was, standing looking at the bed. He turned to face me and it was all I could do to keep from breaking at the sight of him. It had been less than two minutes, but it felt like an eternity. It dawned on me that other than yesterday when I had thought he was gone but really he wasn�t, I hadn�t been without Angel since we met.
**
After kissing for several minutes, Buffy parted from me again and with tears in her eyes she said, �Ok. Now I really have to go.�
I laughed slightly, �you said that last time.� I kissed her again, trying to keep her with me for as long as possible. I knew she had to leave but I hated the thought of being without her � even just for a few hours.
She kissed me one last time and then parted from me, �but this time I really mean it.� She took a deep breath and leaned in to kiss me, and then headed for the door, leaving me standing there breathless.
God, that woman was incredible.
**
I showed up five minutes late to meet with dawn and Willow for lunch. It was worth it, but I was still thankful that they forgave me. We sat down to a quiet lunch at the small caf� that Dawn had chosen for us called �Le Bistro�. We talked about all the good times we�d had with my mom. And we talked about the bad times. The things we�ve learning. The things she showed us throughout her life.
�I just wish we�d been here more, you know?� I said to Willow when Dawn went to the Ladies Room. Lunch was over and we were enjoying drinks.
�Yeah, I know,� Willow nodded solemnly.
�I mean�You�re in school in New York. And Dawn�s in school in New York. And then I was here but I went and took that fashion-marketing job in New York. And it�s like�I know it was hard leaving but did we even consider every time that we left, that it could be our last time seeing her?� I sighed. �The last time we were all together was for Easter,� I smiled at the memory. �I remember she woke us all up and wanted us to do the whole �Easter Egg Hunt�. It didn�t matter to her that we�re all in our 20�s now. She still made us feel like her kids.� My smile faded then as I added, �that was over a month ago.�
�But we were always talking to her,� Willow jumped in as she saw my smile sadden. �It�s not like we didn�t know what was going on all the time.� She reached over the table and held my hand. �Buff, we were here for her when she went through surgery. We all took time off from work and school to be here for her while she recovered. You stayed longer than any of us. Everything was going fine, and what happened was completely unexpected. You can�t feel bad about not being here when she passed.�
�Can�t I?� I questioned. �I mean, I should have been more focused through the whole surgery and more in touch with her doctors to find out what they were thinking and what they were telling mom. I should have known there could be a risk. I should have told her to call me the moment that she started to feel sick. If she ever had a head ache. A stomach ache. God! � If she ever broke a nail!�
�Buffy, I miss her as much as you do, but you can�t look at this from the perspective that you could have done something else to help her. We did everything we could. Sometimes things happen that we wish we could have changed, but no matter what�maybe were just meant to be.�
I knew she was right. I couldn�t blame myself for all of this. But God, it would be so easy to. Then, instead of accepting that she was gone, I could simply wallow in self-hatred and push out the world to make myself a loner. Funny how the worst possible plan seemed like the most livable.
�So what�s with this Angel guy?� Dawn broke the intense mood as she arrived back at the table. �He was practically hanging off you yesterday. Even after you told him he could leave. He just stood off in the distance and watched you.�
�Yeah, Buff,� Willow encouraged with a bright smile. �Dish. Details, girlie. I want to hear all. When did you meet him? What does he do?�
�Well,� I couldn�t help smiling despite my previous mood. There was something about thinking of Angel that instantly made me happy. Further proof to me, if I needed it, that we met for a reason. I�m certain that our meeting was anything but an accident. Fate, was more like it. I didn�t want to tell my friends about my slutty behavior, but I didn�t want to lie. So I sugar coated the truth by saying, �well he�s an architect. He designs entertainment facilities.�
�Like strip clubs?� Dawn asked casually as she bit into a strawberry from the fruit platter she had ordered.
I laughed, �no, more like art galleries and casinos.�
�So how did you two meet?� Willow asked. �Don�t tell me you were actually in an art gallery,� she and Dawn both laughed out loud at this.
I rolled my eyes, �no.� I waited for them to stop laughing and then I said, �no, my car broke down on the way to the airport a few days ago. He stopped to help me out and we�ve been inseparable ever since.�
�But it was like�4 days ago when your car broke down,� Dawn stated.
�Yeah,� I confirmed.
�So what is this then?� she asked. �Like a fling? Or a comfort in a time of loss? Or are you actually remotely serious about this guy?�
I looked down into my glass. �I don�t know. I�d like to think we�ll eventually be serious. Right now it�s just like�we have this connection. And he�s great. He�s really great.� I looked up at them and said, �I know it�s weird that I met this guy four days ago and I already can�t stand being away from him for a minute. I mean�you know me. I usually wait weeks before I even kiss a guy I�m remotely interested in. But now it�s like�I don�t feel like I need to wait to �test the waters� or anything. It�s like it just feels right.�
�Wow, Buff,� Willow smiled. �That�s great. I think it�s exactly what you need.� She was silent a moment and then, �it�s what we all need actually�Buff, does he have any brothers?�
I laughed outwardly.
~~
I parted with Willow and Dawn after several hours at the caf� followed by an hour of shopping - during which I had bought a red, silk top with long, flowing sleeves that I had promptly changed in to. The stomach and chest of the top was form fitting, but the rest was loose and elegant. I finally arrived back at Angel�s building around 5. It was a little later than I had originally planned, and I could only hope that he was still here.
The doorman held the door open for me and tipped his hat, allowing me to enter the grand, expensive lobby of Angel�s condo. For some strange reason, I felt like I was being watched. And then I spotted the security guards at the front desk. Two middle-aged men with short, brown hair and matching uniforms. One of them stood and smiled broadly at me, �Miss Summers, I presume?� he spoke to me.
I smiled nervously as I set my purse down on the security desk counter. �Yes.�
�Excellent. Mr. D�Aestas called down a few hours ago to alert us to be as kind to you as humanly possible. He asked that we alert him when you step onto the premises. Do you mind if I do so?� the man asked me in a soft voice.
�No, not at all,� I nodded, feeling somehow precious to Angel. It was like he was taking extra steps to make sure that I didn�t escape him�although I can�t imagine why he�d think I would want to go anywhere but back to his arms. I waited patiently and listened to the security guard�s side of the conversation.
�Mr. D�Aestas, Miss Summers has arrived�Yes, sir, she�s as beautiful as you said�Yes, sir�Yes, sir�I will tell her, sir�Have a good evening.� The security guard, who I now identified as �Smith� from his security badge, smiled at me and said, �Mr. D�Aestas wills that you would join him.�
I couldn�t contain my smile from practically taking over my entire face, �I can�t think of anything I�d rather do.� I picked up my purse once again and said kindly, �have a great day, gentlemen.�
�You too, Miss,� both men returned at the same time.
I turned then and headed for the private penthouse elevator, which was unlocked by Smith from his spot at the security desk. I stepped in and turned to face the doors. Once they were closed, I could clearly see my reflection in the sparkling silver. I stepped close and took a moment to run a hand over my hair, and apply a thin coat of lip-gloss. I straightened my top nervously, and took a deep breath. I couldn�t imagine why on earth I was so nervous, but I definitely was. The butterflies in my stomach were insisting on being released. The tickling sensation made my nerves vibrate with anticipation. You can�t imagine how thrilled I was to be invited back into Angel�s world after leaving it for the first time since we met.
It was all I could do to calm myself as I waited for the elevator to ascend to the top floor of the 25-floor building. I tried taking deep, calming breaths. I tried counting to ten, and then counting backwards. I tried thinking about something else � anything else. Sadly, nothing worked and my nerves continued to build with every floor I passed. It made sense, sadly, that I had to suffer through this anticipation. All good things come with a price � even if that price was only nerves. I guess as far as payments go, this one isn�t so bad. It could definitely be worse. I could, for example, be seeing Angel for the last time. I could only hope that wasn�t so. And by the appearance of things, it didn�t seem to be. It looked like he had plans for me, for now at least. But now, was all that I could hope for, today, so it satisfied me.
The elevator finally arrived at the penthouse floor, and I took one more deep breath before the doors opened. I stepped out and shut my eyes tightly. My head was spinning with all the anticipation. How the Hell was I supposed to get up the tiny set of stairs if my head wouldn�t stop spinning?
Finally the tiny, dizzying clouds cleared and I managed to make it up the stairs without fainting and falling. Thank God. It would have been so embarrassing to have to ask Angel to take me to the hospital so I could put my skull back together. Really romantic, huh? Not quite.
I stood at the door and paused. Maybe I should save my weak heart and just run now? Maybe I should get it all over with before he ends it? No. I can�t. I don�t care if it hurts, or if it humiliates me. I want whatever moments are left for Angel and I to share � even if it eventually comes to an end.
Angel�s doors were totally sound proof, so it kept everything private. I wish for the moment that it wasn�t. I wanted to be able to hear him inside, moving around � to reassure myself that he was there. But I couldn�t hear a thing. That�s when I noticed the tiny, folded, white card placed on top of the doorknob. I frowned and picked it up. It had no logos or words on the outside. I opened it, and looked to what was written inside in black, cursive writing�
Buffy �
Stop stalling. Come inside. I�m waiting.
Angel
I laughed softly. As if he knew! He knew I�d be waiting and assessing my thoughts and my emotions and trying to calm down. How could he know that after such a short time? How could he possibly know me that well? I slipped the card into my purse and put my hand on the doorknob. Twisting it, I walked inside and felt suddenly like a princess returning to a palace.
**These arms of mine,
They are lonely,
Lonely and feeling blue.**
The entire place was incredible. Red rose petals were absolutely everywhere! I could smell vanilla candles. I could hear soft, seductive music. Suddenly my impulse to buy the red top I was now wearing felt so perfect.
�Angel?� I called out, barely able to keep from beaming with excitement. My voice was shaky and uncontrolled. I could only pray that it sounded next to normal. I wandered in a little more, looking for perhaps the source of the music. Maybe he�d be there. Unfortunately for me, there were speakers in every single room of the apartment � so finding him based on where the sound was coming from was a useless idea. But soon I didn�t have to look for him as his arms slid around my waist from behind.
I jumped slightly, but felt incredibly relieved that he had indeed set this up for me, and not for someone else that would be arriving shortly after he dumped me. I really need to stop doubting things. I turned in his arms to face him and raise my hands around his neck, and my heart skipped as I looked up into his gorgeous, brown eyes. He smiled softly down at me and said, �you came back.�
Speaking was impossible. I couldn�t tell him the million things I was dying to say. Like �of course� or �I will for as long as you want me� or �if it was my choice, I�d never leave��but all I could do was smile and gaze into his deep eyes.
Before I knew it, his body was guiding mine in rhythm to the music. As we began to dance, his hands massaged my back tenderly � sending chills through my body. He leaned his head down so that he could kiss my neck. I rested my head against his shoulder and slid one hand down his neck to his strong arm.
**
**These arms of mine, They are yearning,
Yearning from wanting you.
And if you, would let them hold you,
How grateful I will be.**
My mind was racing with sensations. I couldn�t believe how incredible it felt to have her back in my arms again. I was astounded that she had bothered to come back to me at all, but completely thrilled that she had. She looked so gorgeous and classic. I had big plans for her tomorrow night if she agreed to stick around with me. Tonight I simply wanted to adore her and treasure every moment.
Through the hours that she�d been gone I had wracked my brain trying to come up with reasons to convince her to stay with me for the month until I went back to New York. The museum planners had called shortly after Buffy had left and asked me to come back to the project. Apparently the architect they had hired after I had blown the job wasn�t agreeing with their �vision�. They told me they still loved my original plans, and desperately wanted me to rejoin their team and complete the building within the month. I had been thrilled to take the job, but I told them I needed a day to consult with a friend of mine before I gave them my final answer. I had agreed to call them tomorrow at exactly 12:30 PM.
The hardest part was thinking of good reasons to convince Buffy to take a leave of absence from her fashion-marketing job, or figure out a way to do it from LA. So far, all that flashed through my mind when I searched for reasons was that I wanted her here, and I knew that wouldn�t be changing. I hated to think of taking this job and having her tell me she would be going back to New York. Not seeing her for a month would surely kill me. I knew that after a month�s time, someone else would definitely sweep her off her feet. She was so incredible, and any guy that looks into her eyes is going to want her the way I do now. She has this way of captivating my mind, body, and soul that I�ve never known before.
I felt her press into me even more, and I could barely contain the excitement coursing through my veins at the touch of her hips to my own. She pushed against my rapidly hardening erection, and it was all I could do to pull in a ragged breath. �Buffy,� I whispered into her ear and kissed her neck softly.
�Yes?� she answered her name even though I knew she knew I wasn�t trying to get her attention. She giggled softly, further proof that she wanted to hear what was on my mind during this time where I could barely think.
She nuzzled her face into my neck and squeezed my arm gently. I slid my hands down her back to her gorgeous, perfect ass. I cupped it firmly against me, pulling her into my hardness so that she could feel how desired she was. I finally found words to answer her by whispering in a low, raspy voice into her ear as we swayed from side to side, �I want you to stay with me.�
She lifted her head to look me in the eyes. �When?� she asked.
**These arms of mine, The are burning,
Burning from wanting you.
These arms of mine, They are wanting,
Wanting to hold you.**
�For the month,� I said solemnly. And then, before she could hit me with a million questions, I flew into a big speech, keeping my voice low so as not to ruin the mood. �You know I want you. I want you so much. The museum called back. They fired their other architect, and they really want me to start and complete the project within the month. I can�t stand the idea of you going back to New York while I�m here. Is there a way you could stay? And maybe take a leave of absence from work, or do it from here? I know it�s a lot to ask, and I know I�m being selfish in wanting you to, but I can�t help it. I just want you here with me. I don�t care what it takes.�
**
I was completely shocked by his admission of affection and desire. It was what I had hoped for but barely dared to dream of. I smiled softly and leaned up to press a tender kiss to his lips. After we kissed he asked, �does this mean you�ll stay? Cause if you need some time to think it over, I can give you that. I can give you whatever you need. Whatever you want. If you just-�
I laughed and kissed him again � cutting him off, �shut up.�
He responded to my kiss even though I hadn�t given him an answer yet. I wanted so badly to jump up and down screaming, but something held me back. I had doubts. Not of the fact that I really want to stay with Angel, but�What if this month he�s offering is all I get? If I stay a month with him and then go back to my old life, I know I�ll never really recover from it.
If I spend a month with Angel, there�s absolutely no doubt in my mind that I�ll fall in love with him. It�s hard enough to resist loving him after a few days. In his arms it was like the world could melt away and I wouldn�t care. I was safe in this bubble in which we seemed to exist together. All that mattered was being with him. I can only wonder where all of this has come from. Sure, the moment I met Angel something weird happened and it was like everything made sense. But everything I�m thinking now is so reminiscent of a feeling that I�ve never felt before. How can it feel so right when I don�t even know what it is?
I took a quick breath as the kiss intensified. My heart was racing and I felt so alive in his arms. I could feel his hands on me, continuing to pull me in closer to his obvious arousal. As we danced, it was becoming increasingly harder for me to breathe.
�So,� his voice was barely audible as he broke the kiss to speak. �Will you stay?�
I should say no. I should tell him I can�t put myself in that position. I should tell him it would hurt too much to have one fabulous month and then nothing � if that was the plan. I looked into his deep brown eyes, and all I wanted was whatever time he would give me. I hugged him close and nuzzled my face into his neck. �I will,� I whispered, starting to shake as I did.
**And if you, Just let them hold you,
How grateful I will be.
How grateful I will be.**
He was silent a few moments before he wrapped his arms tightly around my back to pull me as close as possible and whisper into my ear, �you�re shaking. Buffy, what�s wrong?�
I tried to hold back the tears, but they came anyway. I felt like such a fool to cry in front of him. I should be thrilled, but right now all I can think about is what if I don�t have this much longer? His left hand massaged my back soothingly and he tipped my chin up with the fingers of his free hand to look me in the eyes. �Why are you crying?� he asked me with nothing but concern in his features. Concern, and affection.
�I don�t want to lose this,� I finally let myself go and just told him. I knew it was stupid because at any second he could now realize the depth of my feelings and run screaming from the room or ask me to leave (in which case I would be doing the screaming), but I didn�t care if he knew right now. I needed him to understand what I felt for him before we finalized me staying a month. So I continued, �Angel I never intended to meet someone like you. It complicates things and makes me babble, but I�m so glad. If I hadn�t, I�d never know what it feels like to be held close, and made love to. I�d never know what affection and concern from a lover feels like. I�ve had others before that have sworn to keep me safe, but I knew they never would. I just feel safe with you. I want to stay more than anything in the world, but if it�s just for a month�I don�t know how I�ll get through losing you.�
He watched me intently the entire time, and after my big speech it was a minute or so before he spoke or gave me any reaction at all. When he did speak, it was just what I wanted to hear, �you won�t lose me, Buffy. You can�t. I can�t say I wasn�t looking for you, because I think I always have been. You�re exactly what I�ve always wanted, and if you think I want you for just a month�you�re crazy,� he laughed slightly. �I want you with me. No matter what. Not for just a month.�
I kissed him then, needing to feel him close as the tears began to course down my cheeks. He kissed me back with such assurance that my heart felt overwhelmed. I couldn�t believe what he�d said. It was almost too good to be true. It was then that he swept me up into his arms and carried me into his huge bathroom. The red roses were everywhere in here too. In addition to the rose petals, there were candles all around the full, steaming bathtub that smelled like it had lilac-scented oils in it. I couldn�t hide my excitement. I�d never been romanced like this before. Sure, guys had brought me flowers before, but they�d never spent this much money to buy flowers and lay them all over the floor for me to walk on. And run a bath for me�and lit candles�and played romantic music�and carried me like I was too precious to let go. It was an incredible feeling. I wished it would last, and for the first time � I allowed myself to dream that it would. It would last much longer.
**Come on, come on baby,
Just be my little woman.
Just be my lover.**
Setting me down, Angel began to take his time stripping every piece of clothing from my body. First, he removed my red silky top, complimenting, �you can�t imagine how delicious you look to me in red.�
I found that I couldn�t contain my desire to see his gorgeous body, so I interrupted him to strip off his black, silk shirt � taking my time with the buttons to be tender like he was. I wanted things slow right now, and apparently he did too. I ran my hands up his smooth, bare chest and looked deeply into his eyes. He took that moment to kiss me, pulling my close as his hands slid up my back to the clasp of my bra. With one hand, he undid it. Impressive, I had to remark to myself.
When he went to remove my pants, he slid to his knees and leaned forward to lay tender kisses over my mound. His tongue massaged my clit through my lacy, see-through underwear. Just as I was about to lose my mind with my want, he stood up and pulled me into a passionate kiss.
It didn�t take long for him to remove the rest of my clothing. Then it came back to my turn. I slid my hands inside his pants, and squeezed his manhood gently, eliciting a moan from deep in his throat. I smiled at the proof of his desire for me, and removed my hand to undo his pants and remove them as slowly as I could. It was difficult to move slowly, because at the sight of him it was like all I wanted to do was throw him down and lick him from head to toe. But I contained my impulses and leaned up to kiss him. I leaned in against his arousal, and he moaned. His left hand massaged my back, while the other moved to my left breast; massaging it and sending desire coursing through every piece of my being.
He lifted me again into his arms then, and carried me down the steps of his huge bathtub until he could sit on the small seat inside the tub � with both of us almost fully submersed in the water. It felt hot, yet not too hot. And whatever the oils were that he had added were, felt so soothing to my skin. I felt so relaxed instantly.
His hands coursed all over my body until they found their way between my legs. His fingers slid over my clit, and at the gasp of pleasure that I let out, he smiled and kissed me. Once again he slid his fingers over me, and again I gasped against his lips. It felt so incredible just to have him touching me like this. He began to work me into a tender rhythm that made me shake. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, trying to hold on to my sanity as he stroked me through the water. I felt so close to the edge already, and he�d only just begun to touch me. The simple act of removing our clothes had gotten me so hot and so ready.
The water was so hot that it made our kiss even hotter. He slid his middle finger inside me, and continued to massage my clit with his thumb in a circular motion. My heart was racing. My blood was boiling. Finally, I peaked. I could feel myself falling apart in his arms, and I clung to him; kissing him more and more with every ounce of desire that I could feel � which was a lot.
I almost blacked out from the sensations. When I opened my eyes, I was looking into Angel�s. He smiled softly at me, continuing to massage the last remnants of my orgasm from my body. He pressed a tender kiss to my lips, �si beau,� he whispered �so beautiful� in French to me.
I smiled softly, �Angel.�
�Don�t worry, baby. I�m not letting you go anywhere�ever,� he pressed a tender kiss to my forehead and cuddled me close, massaging my back gently. ��Ever.�
**I need someone, Some body to treat me right.
And I need your arms, Loving arms to hold me tight,
I need your tender lips.**
~~
Send Feedback To...
[email protected]