| Return to the Stories, Jokes and Poems page THE GRINCH WHO STOLE NAPSTER The Song you are Hearing is Metallica's Enter Sandman Every fan down in fanville liked Napster a lot; But Lars of Metallica most certainly did not! Lars hated Napster and the entire Internet. He sued everyone, everywhere for every dollar he could get. It could've been perhaps that his wallet was too tight, Or maybe he though that it just wasn't right. But I think the most likely reason of all may have been that his brain was 2 sizes too small. But whatever the reason is it right or is it wrong He hated his fans for downloading his songs. Staring down from Capitol Hill with a sour grinch frown, He single handily tried to shut Napster down. 'Cuz he knew that his fans, not paying any fees could get their hands on his music as free mp3s "They're stealing my music!" he snarled with a sneer, "I'm only pulling down 27 million a year!" Then he growled with his Grinch fingers nervously strumming, "If this doesn't stop, I'm giving up drumming!" For Lars, he knew, that the fans he milked for years could not buy the CD's that paid for his beers. Fans of fanville, young, middle aged or old could sit and download For Whom The Bell Tolls, Or maybe Master Of Puppets, The Thing That Should Not Be or maybe a live show they couldn't afford to see. And then they'd do something he liked least of all they'd just stay at home and not hit the malls. To the brink of insanity Lars had been driven. As for his fans he dubbed them all unforgiven. So he packed up his stuff and then quit the band, got his buddy James to give him a hand. They stuck together and opened a bar up down south both agreed liquor and chicks is what life's about. But then something happened on one crazy night that left Lars feeling not that quite right. A local band came down and hopped on the stage, no lasers, no pyro, no one's in rage. That's a noise said Lars, I simply must hear so he paused and Lars put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the crowd it started in low then had become quite loud. He stared at the mob and Lars popped his eyes. Then he was moved, what a shocking surprise. They jammed all night long and into the day, they didn't care about money they just wanted to play. The fans in a rage, the band looked so proud. People were moshing and surfing the crowd. And what happened next, well on the Internet they say that Lars's brain grew 3 sizes that day. Lars remembered something he knew once before, long before groupies, long before tours, Music he thought doesn't come from a store; In fact, he realized it means so much more. Music is for the people and the fans he once sued, whether it's the nice ones who cheered or the mean ones who booed. Without his fans he realized that he would be nothing, then his eyes filled with tears, it was really quite touching. Then Lars jumped on stage and addressed the loud fans. Said he was sorry about Napster and all of the bans. The crowd cheered and quickly forgave the little tike, Lars hopped on the drums, and James picked up the mic. They played until dawn, and closed up shop around noon, then headed back for Metallica, banging their heads to some downloaded tunes. |