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- 22nd June
Last report of the season
Jellllllllyyyyyyy!
Good evening. The Duck Report tonight is sponsored by the Jelly Cubes, courtesy of Denise Rosborough and Exodus. Yes. Now, Sir Graeme Reid of Deejayland, welcomed the guests of the Exodus building with a marvellous collection of his favourite songs. And I must say, they were rather nice. After the music stuff, my team, the Jelly Cubes, took to the stage and gave us a 20 minute preview of Cindy's Surprise, the pantomime we are touring pretty soon. The preview included a section from the pantomime and one of the songs. It was pretty good. Even though I'm a team member, I hadn't seen much of the pantomime itself as I'm a musician.
Do me a lemon
These boys, ye can't do without them for very long. I was so glad they were back. Their music was absolutely incredible. It was their best gig in the history of their gigs that I've been to. The place was packed with people. I got some pictures of those present, inside and outside the building. How fitting that their new album is called These Four Walls! Excellent. I've heard good reports from Helena Hamilton. She likes track four in particular. You heard it here first, ladies and jellycubes!
Evening all
Then it was back to the King of all DJs (sorry Trevor). I was majorly impressed with the songs he played. He even played Hate To Say I Told You So! I can't remember the name of the band, but that song is so cool anyway. And that, as they say, is a wrap for this season's Duck Reports. It's sad to see me go, but I will be back for the results parties in August. Keep it real, ye hear me?
And finally.....
Katie Russell "I love Exodus, all you guys are the best. How can Hannah be so horrible to Cindy though? Where's Jude?"
Ducky "David Hoy spilt my Coke over me!"
Ryan Wilson "What an honour and privilege to write in the hallowed book. Lemon 12 are very good and so are you Laura!"
Ducky "A question for the masses: Will Laura ever take the Oasis neckleace off? Answers on a postcard."
Katie Russell "Answer: Only when the moon turns blue and I start talking Klingon." [Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe]
Catch ye's on the Flipside!
- 15th June
Totally fantastic
These guys, they are incredible. I couldn't even think of anything to write about them. Their music rocks, and Millie's voice is amazing. I..... I..... think they're fantastic. Woo! Trevor, please bring them back again! Oh yeah, and Trevor announced my birthday and played Alive by P.O.D.! Yay! I am now 20, an old Duck.
And finally.....
Ducky "Trevor please play Alive by P.O.D.?"
- 8th June
The Amazing Toadie
A few months ago, Toadie was to play in Exodus. He couldn't, because he was unwell. But tonight he was back on form and played for us, his lovely fans. I'd never heard him play before and I thought his set was excellent. I have nothing more to say, he left me speechless. :)
Lucy has a Jazz band!
Next was Lucy and her jazz band. I don't think there has ever been a jazz band in Exodus, and one of their most memorable songs of the night, in my opinion, was Eva Cassidy's Wade In The Water. They played other songs as well as this one, and I personally would love them to come back again! Play more jazz!
And finally.....
Jeff the Duck " " [he's a stuffed duck, of COURSE he doesn't say anything..... pphhh.....]
Jelly Cubes Punk Theme Nite!
- Monday 3rd June
Ease in slowly.....
DJ Rachel Williams got us into the party mood by playing us some lovely tunes on the decks. It took her a while to get into the punk style, as she played nice chilled out stuff first. I believe she wanted to bring in the punk slowly. Good idea. Pretty soon we were hit by the likes of P.O.D., which was truly excellent. Next it was Creche's first outing. An excellent slot in my opinion. They covered loads of songs, like Teenage Kicks, Summer Of '69, My Generation, Stand By Me, and my personal favourite, Hitchin' A Ride by Green Day. Fantastic!
Fancy jelly punk
And so it came to the fancy dress competition. I thought I should have won, but I couldn't win because I was a worker person and that wouldn't have been considered fair. Nah, I'm only jokin, those who were nominated truly deserved their nominations. Their outfits were incredible! The eventual winner was Colin Hayes. He won a smashing tub of Pringles and the other nominees got a lovely free drink from the bar. Yay! Orange Fanta for me please! But hey yeah, I was serving at the bar so I was able to get meself a drink. Woohoo! Aww but, man was that punk slot great. I bounced around like a mad eejit and probably made an almighty show of meself, but I didn't care. I was having a great time! The music was brilliant, the people were brilliant, it was just absolutely brilliant. I left the building feeling very drained. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time!
And finally.....
Julie M "Really good - thought my outfit fitted in really well! Very original and cool idea for a fundraiser."
Katie Russell "So is Tigger not into punk then? Where are all the Mohican hair-do's?"
James Hamilton "Hello, and, well, goodbye!"
Laura Hunter Tonight was fab! Had a class time! Creche rock! P.S. Try not to get Saturday Night and The Macarena mixed up!"
Karlene Monahan "Outstanding!"
Jiving all over the world!
- 1st June
Purty guitars
The night was started by a new band called Jivan. Two members of the band played a beautifully mellow acoustic set. I stared at the marvellous acoustic bass that was being played! And I noticed an Epiphone sitting on a stand! Marvellous, absolutely marvellous. After the acoustic set, Delirious music videos were played on the screen, which was fabulous cos I love Delirious.
Promotions and medleys
Next were the Jelly Cubes! They were promoting their fundraiser night, which is Monday 3rd June, and it is a punk theme night. Excellent! Plus, the Romania team reminded us about their movie night in the Portrush cinema on 4th June, to see ET. Prizes available! Anyway, King Trevor of DJ-Land returned to his rightful throne, the decks. He treated us to his usual masterpieces, before Jivan took to the stage for the second and final time tonight. This time, they introduced to us the Epiphone noises. Yes, it was the true heavy guitarness that causes the likes of Matthew Lynch to thrust themselves against each other for the sheer pleasure of mindless, rudimentary violence. In a purely loving way of course. Jivan kept the audience rolling like a giant rolling stone, yeah!
And finally.....
Keith McCaughern "Being my first time here, I thought it was pretty cool. Lots of nice girls!"
Wesley Julier "Tonight was very, very, very good. My quote is, life is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to think about, but it won't get you anywhere."
- 25th May
The Monkey that is Jude Barkley reports tonight on behalf of The Duck that is Laura Knowles!
The Duck's Set List
I'm Like A Duck - Laura sang "I'm like a duck, I'll only fly away" after she introduced her mascot Jeff the Duck. All I can say is 'strange'!
Don't Go Away - Really well sung, was really good!
Sunday Morning Call - This was dedicated to her friend Crystal. I love this song! The Duck's voice really goes with this song.
I'm Like A Bird - Truly one of the greats but I thought she was like a duck, not a bird!
The Air I Breathe - One of her own works, beautiful (can I cry), I love it! When can I buy it? This was for the Jelly Cubes team.
Call From The Heart - Another original, I'll say that guy Jonny is lucky she wrote a song for him!
Always - This Duck can write and sing! Fantabulous song!
Undefeated Courage - *giggles* Her latest piece of genius! So beautiful, yet another I want to buy!
Smelly Cat - HA HA HA the madness! It was dedicated to Adam Gage but I thought it was slightly cruel. He can't smell that bad can he?
Half The World Away - Coolies, nice. I've never heard it before. It was dedicated to Gillian Hamilton, who wasn't in the audience.
And now back to The Duck!
Let's bounce!
After my set, there was some music courtesy of Nikki and Jonny Hyndman. Then we had a man from Sierra Leone tell us about his life. Very interesting man, I hope he comes back. Nikki had the task of interviewing Five Dollar Soul. This was quite a challenge, four men and Nikki. But she handled it with dignity, for no man can outwit Nikki Moore! Pretty soon after that, the guys took to the stage and rocked the place with their bouncing beats. I love those guys, they're so loud and jumpy! Apparently they have a single coming out soon. I wonder where I can buy it.....
Crime of the century
In case it wasn't made clear, I have a mascot teddy bear called Jeff the Duck. He is a yellow fluffy duck. He sat on my mic stand while I played and went around the building with me, talking to folk. Now, I was upstairs talking to some of my Jelly Cube pals. Sharon McKibbin stole Jeff and threw him downstairs from the balcony. I darted off after him. He landed at the feet of two boys. They picked him up and told me they were going to report me to the USPCA for cruelty to ducks. They proceeded in having a tug of war with him, one boy holding his behind, and the other holding his head. I thought they were going to rip his neck! Honestly, the rudeness of some people. I'm never letting Jeff out of my sight ever again.
And finally.....
Jeff the Duck "I'm like a duck, I'll only swim away"
Anonymous "I fancy Jeff!"
The Monkey "Did ye like me report? There's so many people here, so few known to me! A great set, that Duck is fantastic, so's Ducky! Yay Jeff rules! Laura, when is your next gig? Jeff wasn't thrown, he was trying to fly!"
Paul Scales "Life is like a path. Never look at what has gone, only what is ahead!"
Katie Russell "My friend Laura's the best guitar player about, Noel Gallagher take a bow"
- 18th May
Pretty folk believe in the party
DJ Nikki got the party started tonight with her favourite tunes, including the likes of Pink and Destiny's Child. Next we had some karaoke. I had to fight to get my name down! Well, not really, but I did scare the girl who had the misfortune of putting my name down, hehe. Anyway, first up was a group of girls to sing S Club Party. They were adamant that they weren't going to sing that song, so Michaela and Nikki took over for them. Then Hannah and Lori sang Daydream Believer and I thought it ruled! They were really good at it. My name was called out next and I was hoping they'd give me a good song to sing. It was Pretty Woman! Arg! Nikki sang along with me and we made it really funny. A few other people got up to sing as well, and it was an excellent session altogether.
Bring on the band!
And so it came to the band. The England On Tour band. They started the whole session off with Burn Baby Burn by Ash. Twas rather excellent. David Hamilton's voice is really low and he was fantastic the whole night. They played various praise songs throughout their set and the last song they played was Where The Streets Have No Name by U2. It brought tears to my eyes. And that's all I have to say about that.
And finally.....
Ducky "I refused to let anyone comment on tonight because I think I sum up everyone's views by saying that the band was fantabulous and I wish them all the best in the summer!"
- 11th May
Black night..... it's alright!
First up tonight was a new local band called The Mystery Men. They are a three-piece outfit consisting of Danny from Creche, Niall from Creche and Lemon 12, and a guy with an impressive mop of hair. I never did find out his name. It was a welcome change to Exodus, their music consisted of nothing but searing guitar riffs, extremely groovy! The tunes I recognised were Black Night and Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple, and I got a vibe of Metallica as well. I don't like Metallic. But otherwise, I was very impressed by this trio!
Where's my passionate puse?
Next up was our Lost Property Models, Brooke and Paul. Over the last..... ooohhh, lengthy period of time, lost items of clothing have gathered up in the building. Paul and Brooke were doing us the honour and privilege of modelling these items in the hope that someone would recognise something and shout out "oi, get that off ye, that's mine", or something alone those lines. Also, the Ugandan team put on a short drama sketch for us. Those involved included Ryan Wilson and Gillian Hamilton. Ryan played a granny, and Gillian was a disgruntled director. It was an excellent show, and one of the funniest bits was the different styles in which Ryan's character told us she was knitting a passionate puse tea cosy.....
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccccccchhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeee
At long last, Creche took to the stage. They played their regular bouncy songs, including Summer Of 69 by Bryan Adams. I hadn't heard this in a while from them, so I was pleased. This was Creche's second outing with new guitarist Niall Kennedy, and I must say, he's settling in very well. But I think he's getting a bit greedy when it comes to bands. He's in Lemon 12, Creche, Jackie Moon, The Mystery Men..... I mean, come on. I can't even get one band. Ach, Niall man, you carry on with yer music, be in as many bands as you can, get yer name recognised. Maybe I'm just meant to be solo. That's fine with me! (Yes, I am supporting Five Dollar Soul on 25th May.)
And finally.....
Paul Scales "Self-confidence is just self-expression. Oh what the heck, just be yourself!"
Katie Russell "Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy....." [You been touching the sugar again?]
Alan McCracken "Creche ROCK!"
Mr and Mrs Dawson's Brooke!
- 27th April
There goes Brooke.....
Tonight was quite exciting, because it was the first time that Exodus was able to hear the talent that is Brooke, one of the lovely Americans. Her set included There She Goes (originally by The La's and recently covered by Sixpence None The Richer), Thank You by Dido, and Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) by Green Day. Other songs she played were praise songs, all of which were excellent.
Cheese
Next up was DJ Cheddar and The Cheesy Slot. Our Mr DJ man took control of the decks and tortured us - er, I mean entertained us - with some tunes. I was pleased with some of the choices very much. For example, Bohemian Like You was the first song to be played, and it was put on by Trevor. Other tunes were Brown Eyed Girl, Elevation, and the like. Matthew Lynch and myself had a wee dance on yonder dance floor and had a whale of a time. I found it quite amusing!
Battle of the couples
Then it was time for the married couples of Exodus to engage in a verocious war of wits, in Trev's Mr and Mrs. The couples were Mr and Mrs Lynas, Mr and Mrs Brown, and Mr and Mrs Ross. First of all, the men went upstairs with Trevor's lovely assistant Nikki, so they couldn't hear what questions the women were being asked. The task was to see whcih couple knew the most about each other. It was quite exciting, there was even a picture up on the screen to see if the ladies could recognise their husband's feet! Some of the questions were quite funny, and in the end, the Ross's won. Yay for Johnny and Catriona!
And finally.....
There are no comments this week, because I had an accident with my pen. I lost it. I tried to hit Matthew Lynch on the head with my notebook, and my pen went flying across the stage. It has happened before.....
Jamie and Dave's 19+ nite!
- 13th April
Sparkly candle..... swingin
First up at the 19+ night was Dave Mitchell, the Lone Candle. He played his lovely sparkly guitar, which captured my curiosity. The songs he played were extremely cool and very mellow. Nice. :) After his slot, the mellow mood flowed on with some marvellous swing music given to us by DJ Hyndman. I like swing music.
Statistics and The Scottish Connection
Next was Paul from Hungary. He talked about how young people from our generation can change the statistics of the next generation. He said that 95% of Christians have never lead another person to Christ, and other such statistics. Very soon after this, a young Jamie Sturt from Scotland entertained us with his acoustic set. I sat opposite him and watched in awe. His voice is very like that of REM's Michael Stipe, plus a wee bit of Coldplay's Chris Martin. I considered his singing perfect to sit back and chill out to. Aaaaahhhh.
And finally.....
Jamie Sturt "It's a lovely place, it's very lively and the Jenga was very loud"
Gordon McIlroy "The music was good, I love over 19 nights but I think there could be more publicity"
