TheTrueGod

My father, died on May 5, 2000, and it will not be a date in the history of my life that I will soon forget.
    I knew that my father had been getting progressively worse for a while - not quite as much as my mother had noticed but it really was over a certain period of time. My father had smoked for 20 some odd years. I'm not mad at my father for smoking... he never wanted to hurt anyone in our family or put us through any grief.
    Like every other smoker, dad tried to quit smoking many times, without success of course. It basically goes like this: Doctors found cancer in dad's lung at an early stage, they had surgery to take out part of the lung, a few months later the lung started bleeding. After a minor procedure at the hospital, the lung burst and he had to be revived from a code blue which means he had momentarily died. After a week in the hospital, in critical condition, sedated and with no way to really communicate with him, he passed away... this time, with no turning back.
    Here I was, 18 years old, this was the day before my senior prom, a month before graduation, and 4 months before I was to start college. How could I be put in such a position? My dad was suppose to be around to see all that happened and be there when I get my first real job and be there when I get married and get excited when I bring my children to his house to babysit. Where did all this go? Was it too much for me to have these things pictured in my mind for the future?
    You may be wondering now - "Where did God come in?" The only way to answer that is with a question: "When wasn't God there with me?" He always was.
    I could have never imagined things to turn out as they did and I could have never imagined surviving the death of a parent... especially at age 18... but here I am. I am doing what I thought wouldn't be possible - not by anything I've done or anything anyone else has done really, but by Jesus Christ picking me up into His loving arms when I was knocked down and carrying me. God shed His light on me and it continues to light my way and guide my life. He gave me peace in my heart and strength in my soul to keep my head up and avoid depression and overcome grief and all the other heartaches that can accompany a great loss.
    I don't blame God for anything. I want to say that again. I don't blame God for anything. God is good and God is love. God is not the cause of anything that is bad but when bad things do happen, He will be there for you and bring blessings to take their place. Not only that, but through adversity a person grows in Christ the most. With trust and faith in Him, a person can make it through anything.
How am I now? I will never stop missing my dad but I can't feel sorry for him or myself because he is in heaven with God, but if I ever start feeling alone or sad, I regain my focus on God by reading the Bible and praying. And I want to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling sad. It's good to express feelings of sadness, just don't ever let sadness control your life. God loves us all, and He wants the best for us because we are His children. He is never changing and His love is unending. I will end with Hebrews 13:8, which summarizes this. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Please, give God a chance.