The Ones That Are Short, Yet Stupid
The One with Kelly Reading, Part 1
Kelly decided to 'entertain' us all by reading out loud from the newspaper. This was surprising, firstly because Kelly knew how to read, and secondly because when she opened the newspaper up she didn't look for chips. She chose a story about a stolen car to share with us...Quietly reading it to herself first, she asked "What's a 'Lon Donna'(I had to spell it that way, a) Because that's what Kelly had said, and B) It was said in a Mancunian accent)
Dee: A what?
Kelly: A Lon Donna
Dee: Fuctifino mate, read me the full sentence, I might understand it then
Kelly: *Now reading aloud* The car thief, a man in his twenties is believed to be a Lon Donna....
Straight away I knew what she meant. I laughed, like a very happy and mentally disturbed hyena. The sentence actually read...
The car thief, a man is twenties is believed to be a Londoner. That was the day Kel learnt that you don't spell London...Lundun.
The One With Liz and George Bush
Liz and I were watching the news, this in itself is weird....Seen as though there wasn't even anyone we knew on it! There was a piece on there about George Bush having a heart attack in Japan. Liz's take on the subject was....
"I never knew Tokyo was in America"
The One With The Tadpoles
Liz's little boy had been pond fishing with some friends, and as they do, brought home a jar of tadpoles. Her Son asked if he could keep them. She didn't see any harm in it, so put them in an old washing up bowl on the kitchen floor. I told her she needed to keep an eye on them, otherwise she'd end up with a house full of frogs.
Liz: Oh, he didn't bring any frogs home, just the tadpoles.
Dee: Yeah, but it only takes a little while for them to change
Liz: Change?
Dee: Usually tadpoles change into frogs after a few weeks, unless you have magic tadpoles that stay tadpoley forever.
Liz: Are you taking the piss?
I think I'll leave it a while longer before we start on the caterpillar/butterfly thing.
The One With Kelly Reading, Part 2
During a game of Monopoly Kelly got a 'chance' card. Reading it to herself I saw a puzzled look grace her little face. "What does it say mate?" I asked. "Wait" was her reply. We waited. "Do you need help with it?" I said, trying very hard not to sound patronising. "I'm not stupid you know, I can read!"
"Cool" said Liz "What does it say?" sounding totally patronising. Kelly got mad and shouted out exactly what it said on the card....
"GO TO TRAFLAGAR SQUARE"....
Yup folks, thats Traflagar Square, Lundun.
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