A joke a day keeps the doctor away. Who said that??

Contribute jokes 

1) PLAYING HOOKY

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."

"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."

"The kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"

"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get
ready."

"Give me two reasons why I SHOULD go to school!"

"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"

2) MANAGEMENT LESSONS

*Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


*Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. 

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

SPORT BUM

A bum asked a man on the street for $5. 

"Will you buy booze?" the man asks, to which the bum replies, "No." 
"Will you gamble it away?" Once again the bum replies, "No." 
"Will you make bets at the golf course?" Once again the bum replies, 
"No, I don't play golf" 

Then the man asks, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink, gamble or play golf?" 

CAST AWAY

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is that man and why is he so upset?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea, but every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."