Hinglish Zindabad !

The Queen's english is dead, long live the Queen !

"I can talk English, walk English and laugh English... because English is a funny language," so said superstar of superstars Amitabh Bachchan in one of his films! Of course, there have been many before him who have crucified Queen's English, but when Arjun Singh, son of Bhim Singh, son of Dasrath Singh of Lakhanpur Village in Haryana tried his hand at speaking the language in 'Namak Halaal, an entire Nation followed suit!

In fact, though Imperial Rule ended more than half a century ago, it has indeed become fashionable to speak the Queen's Language - whether one is well-versed in it or not! "Angrez chale gaye, par Angrezi chod gaye," (The British have gone, but they left behind English language) is the oft-heard refrain from English-haters.

Hark at Hinglish

Come, let us hark back at history and find out how 'Hinglish' was born! Many years before Independence, the need for Oxford 'Ishtyle' education was felt but many Indians could not afford it. An enterprising Marwari then came up with the idea of providing education on 'desi' soil in 'pardesi ishtyle'. Thus was born the Desi Angrezi school!

Children from all parts of the country joined, the Marwari being a firm believer in national integration. The only mode of instruction was English. But for all you know they could have made more progress with Latin. Goof ups, mistakes, embarrassments and hilarious situations were inevitable.

Dr.Ray: Spoiling the Botany of the body

Principal Dr. Ray was strict about his language. To those caught smoking on the sly, he gave a lecture on the ill effects of nicotine and sought to know as to "why they were intent on spoiling the botany of their body!" He then yelled out the punishment: "Go and kneel down for 30 minutes. Why aren't you kneel-downing? You three, both of you kneel down together separately!"

Mungeri Lal who let the Air Force in

Then there was Mr. Mungeri Lal from Bihar who asked his students, one hot and humid summer afternoon to "open the window and let the air force in." (Maybe if he opened the tap, the navy could have sailed out!)

Mani Iyer's who killed his Princi!

Child prodigy Mani Iyer, who excelled in academics and who by virtue of his intellectual ranking was given the dirty job of keeping the class disciplined asked his colleauges to ".... Be quiet! The principal just passed away!"

Canteen manager who passed water!!

The Gujarati canteen manager, with a penchant for cleanliness and who loves to constantly hear the jingling of coins came up with this special: "Today's Special! No ice-cream". He also insisted through a prominent notice that "All water in the canteen was personally passed by the manager!"

Nair and his sulphuric aaacid

Mr. Nair, the science teacher who left behind the lush coconut lagoons of Kerala to impart the nuances of Chemistry asked his students to "Simbly take a round-bottomed flask of any shape... and fill it with sulphuric aaacid!

Sant Ram's cykill

Then there was the perpetually fuming gardener Sant Ram, who could be heard shouting to pranksters in the school and wanting to find out "Who it was that took out the breeze of my cykill!"

Santa Singh soft drink concentrate

That's not all! The students have a few to narrate about their class fellows too. There was Santa Singh who kept staring at an orange juice container just because it said 'Soft Drink Concentrate' or his cousin Banta Singh who thought 'Capacity' was the name of the city of his residence!

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