mybook

Real bumper stickers:

*My Life Really Isn't That Bad It Just Seems That Way When I'm Awake
*No Killing Is More Of A Hobby With Me
*Normal People Scare Me
*Scientists Say 1 Out Of Every 4 People Is Crazy, Check 3 Friends, If They Are Ok, Your It
*Support Your Local Undertaker - DROP DEAD
*That Which Doesn't Kill Me Had Better Be Able To Run Away Pretty Damn Fast
*The Way To A Man's Heart Is Between The Forth And Fifth Ribs
*There Are 2 Kinds Of Pedestrians: The Quick And The Dead.
*They Don't Pay Me Enough To Smile
*This Vehicle Swerves And Hits Pedestrians At Random
*You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Talk To Me
*I Am A Bomb Technician; If You See Me Running You Should Keep Up
*I Don't Have An Attitude Problem -It's Supposed To Be Like This
*I Don't Like Violence But I'm Very Good At It
*I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It.
*I FOUND JESUS...He's In The Trunk Of My Car...You Can See Him For Five Dollars.
*I Have PMS And A Gun.....Excuse Me, Did You Have Something To Say?
*Heaven Doesn't Want Me, And Hell Is Afraid I'll Take Over
*Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
*Does The Noise In My Head Bother You?
*Don't Interrupt Me When I'm Talking To Myself
*Caution: Driver Singing
*Caution: Driver's Applying Make-Up
*Caution: I Swerve And Hit People At Random.
*DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
*IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
*DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
*Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
*Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back
*42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot
*Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
*Every man needs a wife because there are a number of things that go wrong that one cannot blame on the government.
*Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
*Is the world being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it?
*The elevator to success is permanently out of order. You have to use the stairs...one step at a time.
*Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
*I have decided to describe my profession as that of a "Contemporary Anthropological *Interactive Observer" because "Stalker" is such an ugly word.
*Support your local police force: Break a few laws.