| Part Four Back from my appointment. So, I'm now 18 weeks and 4 days. I know I've neglected this journal, but I've had so much more going on, that it really had to take a backseat until shit calmed down. Jon and Stevie took the news a little hard and immediately needed to be re-assured that they would never end up 'like this'. I can hardly blame them, really. I'd have said the same thing at their age. Now they come running up to me and poke and rub at my belly (which is now the size of, well, I'll get into that a bit later). They talk into my belly button and Stevie's convinced that the baby can see him. He's pretty cute with all of this, really, because I don't think he realizes that it's a tad bit weird. Thankfully. He's only four, I don't want to warp his mind for the rest of his life, after all. Anyhow...we haven't found out the sex just yet. We're waiting until the next appointment, and we'll go in with a video tape and get it captured there. I'm kinda hoping for a boy, because it would be nice to pass on the name--and these wonderful genes (ha!)--but I'd also love to have a little girl to take to a park and push on the swing, and chase after puppies with. I bet you're wondering who the other Daddy is, huh? Originally, I thought it was Wade--which made me way more sick to my stomach than all of my morning sickness mornings (and afternoons, and nights) combined ever could have made me. But then we got the accurate, dead-on-balls due date, and I went back to check my, well, *that* diary, and learned that it wasn't Wade. Thankfully, I hadn't said anything to him, because he thinks he's bigger than he really is and doesn't return calls anymore. Oh well... The Daddy is...JC. I really did breathe a sigh of relief when I looked and found out. It's him, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I was with him, and only him, for the entire span of two weeks that surround the first days of the pregnancy. Now, the tricky part...I haven't told him yet. When I figured it out (right before picking you up to update you), I immediately went to my phone and dialed the first five numbers. Then I hung up. I don't really know how to say it to him. I mean, he knows there's a good chance that it's him--just as the others do. (Well, except Joey. He's been in the clear ever since we found out my general due date.) But that's some big news to break to someone. His life is going to change just as much as mine is. I don't want to do that over a phone. I should do it in person. Face-to-face, so I can see his true reaction--both when I initially tell him and when it finally sinks in that this is completely real. That, and I want to hug him. I'm glad that it's JC. I've known him for half of my life now, pretty much, and I can't think of one single secret that I keep from him. I even told him about me being able to lactate after I had that appointment and came clean to the doctor. I didn't tell anyone else, just him. He's always been the first on the phone when he knows I've had an appointment. And he's been great about bringing me things to munch on whenever he knows he's going to be passing by my house. Nothin' like a nice box of Godiva chocolates to surprise a guy! So, it's JC. This baby is a product of the love I share with one of the most important people in my world...Now if I could only figure out how to tell him that his life is about to turn upside down. I should put you down and go call him, ask him to come over or something. Hopefully he'll say he was planning to drop by, and that way I won't sound so obvious. I'd like to surprise him--just a little. Well, wish me luck! Justin NEXT BACK |