ETCETERA....

The following are real ads collected from newspapers:

- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- Semi-Annual, After Christmas Sale
- And now, the Superstore - unequalled in size, umatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
- Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00

Introduction of the Euro

In order to meet the conditions for joining the single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a penny" is not to be used after 31st December 2001.

From this date the correct terminology will be "Euronating".

Thank you for your attention.
Tony Blair

[Ed Note: What about “Europeein”?]

Quotable Quotes:

“In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker”

- Woody Allen

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong.”

- Milton Berle

“A man may be a fool and not know it...but not if he is married.”

- H.L. Mencken

“The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease; sometimes it gets replaced.”

- John Peers

“The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.”

- George Bernard Shaw

“Life is but an endless series of experiments”

- Mohandas K. Gandhi

“If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.”

- Arab Proverb