HO!
HO! HO!HO!
HO! HO!
Not long ago and not far away Santa was getting ready
for his annual trip...but there were problems every where. Four of the elves
got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular
ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then
Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa
even more. When he went to harness the reindeer he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows
where. More stress.
And then, when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards on the sleigh cracked
and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered all the toys...so, frustrated
Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. But he
found that the elves had hit the liquor cupboard and there was nothing there
to drink...and in his frustration he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom
and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened
the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. And the
angel said: Santa, where would you like to put this Christmas tree??
And that, my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas
tree…
 |
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. (Jay Leno)
|
GROANERS...
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas Eve!
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Boxing Day?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other
month?
The letter "D".
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in
the chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas
Eve?
Black mail
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
How many chimneys does Santa go down?
Stacks!
What is Christmas called in England?
Yule Britannia
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it.
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season
How does Santa climb up a chimney?
He uses a ladder in the stocking.
