WOMB

That's right, Womb. Many do not know this, but womb actually stands for Women of Massive Bellies. I would like to tell you about what I am going to be when I grow up, and it involves fetuses. Mmmm, fetuses . . . .

When I grow up, I am going to become a taxidermist and an abortionist; they go together like fetuses and coat hangers. I am going to give free abortions (pregnant women, there's a catch). The woman has to agree to have it performed LIVE on webcam, and has to agree to let me keep the fetus. I am then going to stuff the fetuses, and use/sell them as hood ornaments. I might also make some that resemble those cacti you may have seen on car antennae, with hands sticking out. You can stack them on your car antenna like a fetuskabob. I might even hook suction cups through the fetus's hands and feet so you can stick them to the windows of your car. Tying two fetuses together and hanging them on your rearview mirror would also be fashionable.

Many malicious things can be done with stuffed fetuses . . . .

A guy gives you the finger, you fling a fetus in his car window.

A guy pulls in front of you in the gas station, when he goes in to pay, you replace his gas cap with a fetus.

Your ex-girlfriend marries your best friend, you hide a fetus in their wedding cake.

Kids in the park make too much noise while you try to catch a midday nap, you hide a fetus in the sandbox.

Need to keep the birds out of your garden while your plants begin to grow, you scatter fetuses about your garden.

There really is no end to the uses of fetuses. I could go for some good "Sizzle and Stir" fetus right now.