This is our wedding picture. Krinin may not look too herpe, but boy is she! We are wombats. Wombats are far better than goats. The background here is black because that is her favorite color. The font is red because that's the color of her shirt in this picture.

We got married to share STDs. That's it. Not because we fought in Nam together, or because we're pale, just for the STDs.

I eat whatever she eats. I do whatever she does. I drink politely out of her shoe. (You do this by placing the can of your favorite canned beverage in her shoe, lifting up the shoe, and drinking it.) I burp with her. She gave me AIDS (YAY!).

Right now, she's at college collecting various STDs to bring home to papa! That's what's great about her. Always caring about other people. It's not like she WANTS to have sex; she just does it for me.

We play Tetris™ together all the time. She beats me, but I always tell myself, "I'll get her next time!" We have potent iced tea and lemonade; we don't drink that impotent stuff, just the potent stuff. I love feeding her. I love giving her Dr. Pepper™, 7up™, diet colas (not regular ones because they're not sugary enough), and anything else carbonated that we like. (Carbonated because it makes us burp!) We do each other's hair. I'm naked.