My tough growth, written around March, 2002
	Testimony - Somebody gives me a microphone and tells me to talk about Jesus I’m going to do it.
	
	I’d love to share my life story with you, but that can wait for another time. This night I’m here to tell you the testimony of Jesus Christ as it has become known to me.
	
	Testimony – is to bear witness or evidence to the truth.
	
	Some of the most amazing evidences of the Truth that Jesus commanded us to testify to involve a life that is obviously in need of a change; poor decisions leading to guilt and despair and more poor decisions. Then one day the Gospel of Jesus Christ enters in: that all men need to pay their Creator back for every evil and selfish act in their lifetime, that this debt is impossible to make up, and that God was willing to provide His perfect Son in our place to pay the debt even though He owed none of it.  After discovering this Truth, we go about our lives as it states – free from sin and its penalties.  To see a hardened criminal become a champion of love in an inner city or a self absorbed teenager treating near strangers as family is an awesome thing.  This is a miracle that I can happily tell you has come true in my life, but in a slightly different way.
	
	I had occasionally asked myself why I need religion.  What had I ever done wrong?  I have never had a drop of alcohol, never cheated on a test, and close my eyes during the bad parts of movies.  When I first prayed a prayer to God of my acceptance of His Son Jesus I was so young that it’s hard to imagine what a sin is at that age (coveting your neighbors blocks?!).  My whole life my friends looked to me when a moral question came up.  I memorized piles of verses at AWANA as part of the weekly competition, and even owned a big thick preacher’s Bible at the age of 10.
	
	As I grew up, I didn’t think too hard about it.  I gave props to God when I was in the spotlight and encouraged people with reasons why living a straight and narrow life made more sense and was a lot more comfortable.  I quit going to AWANA during high school because I was so busy with life and I could still quote more verses than almost anyone I knew.  It turns out I didn’t know the right people.  It’s not that we need to legalistically read our Bible every day, but the depth of my lack of desire would send me into a panic now days.
	
	Externally I was still living the life of the All American boy, but inside I was getting harder and harder on myself for my every perceived mistake.  My Godly track coach at the time would notice that something wasn’t right and say one word to me over and over, “Grace”.
	
	I look back and think how much I was like the Pharisees who Jesus was so hard on in His time on earth.  No amount of good living can replace love, grace, and the power of honest prayer and daily interaction with the Holy Spirit.
	
	God has given me a slow motion picture of how He alone can make us grow.  I’ve lived a life that knew of God, but tried to bear the burden of righteous living alone.  The result was occasionally rewarding, but ultimately frustrating and lonely.  Not able to do the things of this world, but having no desire to be caught up in all the church stuff.