PART 7

Xander backed up in something that was half dread and half confusion.

"I know I’m saying this a lot today, but WHAT?!"

"You’re Alexander…" she said again, as if it was the simplest thing in the world to believe that he was actually a 16th century warrior. "Reborn, and returned to me."

Xander’s eyes opened wide at this statement, and he once more took a few steps toward the door.

"Alexander?" Andra asked quietly, sounding so lost and alone that the young man physically could not move. His heart broke as he heard that voice.

"I-"

"Please don’t leave…" she continued, getting up slowly from the bed, "Please? I know it must seem a lot to take in all at once, but…I know, in my heart, that it’s true. I know that you’re my Alexander, and I’m your Andra."

"No." he replied, even as the voice of truth in his mind said just the opposite. Though he was scared and nervous and confused, something within him knew that everything she said was true…and that he had to help her, or else.

He didn’t know what that ‘or else’ was, but he knew that it would be unpleasant. Perhaps not unpleasant in the ‘tortured to dead by a demon’ way, or ‘taking Calculus for life’ way, but incomplete. Unwhole. Not right.

And this must have shown in his face because Andra’s expression suddenly brightened, and she looked about to try and hug him again. Yet all she did was say, "Thank you."

"You’re welcome…" Xander sighed tiredly. Then that something else in his mind took over for a moment and said, "Dearest God, I wish I could touch you…"

This made Andra get up off of the bed in a jump. True, she’d said it several times that night that Xander was truly the reincarnation of her Alexander, but there had been just the smallest bit of doubt, of fear of being wrong and so doomed to more time without a body. But this one statement, said in the same sleepy yet tired way she had heard for several happy years of her life, took all misgivings from her.

"Oh Alexander!" she cried, once again starting with tears.

"Oh, don’t cry…" It was Xander again, but she didn’t mind. She knew that they were one and the same. The only difference between the two of them was that one loved her with all his heart, and the other…she didn’t know about Xander. He seemed rather confused.

"I won’t." Andra said, stopping. Then she sat back down on the bed and patted the sheets in a friendly manner. "Come on, I won’t bite."

Xander shrugged and sat next to her, sighing as he did. She gave him a Look, one that made her look almost like Buffy when he was goofing off too much, then said, "So, tell me about your life a little…I spilled for you, now you spill for me…"

This made Xander crane his body around to take a look at her, as if scanning her completely. He seemed full of questions, but finally asked only one.

"How can you talk like that? If you’re from, like, the 1500’s, how come you talk all normal and all?"

Andra giggled at his question. "What, do you think I’ve been staring at the walls all during the 500 years I’ve been here? I would have lost my mind by then!"

"Then-"

"Then, what did I do?" she asked for him, "Well, despite the fact that I was trying to find out about YOUR life, I’ll answer you."

"So?"

"So," she answered back, "Do you think you’re the first person to see me? Of course not! I appeared only a year after my sleep started and I have befriended every person who has ever lived here. To some, I explained the truth, to others, I simply said I was a ghost. And each brought me into their world, their time…showing me the latest wonders physically or with books.

"Now, Ambrose was a true dear." Andra told him with a wistful smile, "He installed a TV, a library, and a computer (with DSL line) in the castle. And with those, he showed me the world."

At Xander’s look of surprise, she laughed. "I’ll show you those rooms later, but for now…"

"Oh yeah…" the young man said with a sheepish grin that, had he been feeling corny, would have been followed with ‘awe shucks’, "My life…well, that’s a long and interesting story…"

"Really?" Andra asked, a bit skeptical.

Xander seemed about to be make a self-depreciating comment, but then changed his mind.

"Actually, yeah…" he said with a bit of pride in his voice.

"Really?" she asked again.

"Well," he said with what sounded like modesty, "Unless you consider hyena possession, the Harvest, nearly being turned into a fish, and making the entire female population (demons included) fall madly, and I mean MADLY, in love with me for Valentine’s Day (among other things) boring, then…yeah."

Oh, Andra thought as he heard him speak the way he did, it IS my Alexander! Then she sat and listened as he told her of his life…

END PART 7

PART 8

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeease!?" Andra wheedled from her seat on the couch, giving Xander the most devastating pair of Puppy-dog eyes that he’d ever been subject to.

"No, Andra…" he said with mock fatigue, "I will NOT turn on the TV and feed your addiction…"

"Oh, it’s not an addiction!" Andra objected, "More of an interest…maybe an obsession…"

Xander rolled his eyes. "I knew I should have never let you watch ‘Army of Darkness’…"

"But-"

"Same thing happened to Buffy and Willow…" he continued, giving her a look out of the corner of his eyes, "They saw the movie with me and ended up with a Bruce Campbell addiction."

"It’s not an addict-"

"Andra." Xander said with an upraised eyebrow, "You’re watching ‘Jack of All Trades’…there is a problem…"

"Fine." She admitted suddenly, "But if you DON’T turn on the TV, I’ll sing ‘Ninety-nine Bottles Of Beer On The Wall’ as you TRY to get to sleep tonight!"

Xander gave her a Look. "No fair. You always use that threat."

She shrugged innocently, "One of the only things I CAN do…"

There was silence, and then Xander stepped over and turned on the TV just as the theme song came one. Andra, in a way that made Xander’s heart twist, bopped along with the music like a twelve year old.

Dear God, she was beautiful. And funny. And smart. And interesting.

Simply amazing.

And as these thoughts passed through his mind, he admitted to himself what he had known that first night of conversation at the castle. He was head over heels in love with her. In love with a girl with no body…but not for long.

Ever since the third night sleeping at the castle, he’d had the dreams. Dreams of him walking around the castle. Stone walls, stone passages…he usually couldn’t remember the majority of it when he woke up, but he wrote down what he did the second he got up. And this method was slowly showing him the way to Andra’s long lost body.

But, he realized, what was going to happen when he found her body? This had him very confused. What would happen? Would she still enjoy his company when she then had the entire world to chose from? Would she find someone new and better then him? Just like Buffy had done…

Buffy. That was a name that invoked a great deal of confusion in him. Did he still love her like he had when he’d come there? Or had that soul-wrenching, never-ending love moved on? To Andra… He didn’t know.

But to him, it seemed like they were the same person. Like loving Andra was the same as loving Buffy, and it wasn’t because they looked the same. They were the same. Perhaps not the same jokes, and not the same words, but to him, it was the same heart behind those words and jokes. The same spirit in both of them. It was one of the reasons he’d been able to fall in love with Andra…it hadn’t felt like giving up on Buffy at all. More like seeing a different part of her. And this, he couldn’t explain.

So, for now, he sat down next to Andra, put his mind away for a while, and began watching the anachronistic adventures of Jack Stiles…

##

Stone walls…tapestries. The tapestries. He knew those tapestries. They were the same at all times, never changing…like the past.

Then he began towards the stairs, but then turned to the other direction. That was odd…he’d always gone up the stairs… Yet now he walked down the hallway on the left, never too slowly or too fast. And as he did, he noticed a torch on the wall. It burned brightly in the darkness, yet all he did was pull on it and-

"Xander…Xander!" a voice called, and he turned away from the torch.

"Xander! You fell asleep…" Andra said as he woke up, his eyes opening slowly to look at her. There she lay, next to him on his bed. In front of them, the TV was on, showing The Matrix which he had bought that day for her to see. Yet all she was watching was him.

"Andra?"

"You fell asleep…" Andra told him once again with a playful grin.

"I know."

Then hesitantly, she asked, "Do you remember anything?"

Xander shook his head. "Nah…nothing. Sorry…"

Andra shook her head too, but with a smile. "No problem."

It was then that he said something which shocked and delighted her. He, Xander, said it.

"Dear god, I wish I could touch you…" he whispered quietly, half hoping she hadn’t heard him. Because if she had, it would complicate matters so badly…but it could make his life a million times better too.

Yet before she could tell him what she wanted to tell him, the phone rang. And Xander, without thinking of what he was perhaps wrecking, picked it up.

"You’ve reached Bob’s Pizza…" Xander said with a smile, "Bob’s not here right now, but his assistant Xander would be happy to take your order!"

Andra giggled slightly at his joke, even though she had seen him do the same sort of thing for every phone call in his two months there. Yet her laughing stopped as she saw his face change from laughing to upset and from upset to angry.

"Look, Anya!" he shouted, "I’m trying to get her body back. No, don’t argue with me. No. Don’t you dare…how…no! I refuse to fight with you over this. I’ll be back soon! You can live without sex for that long…no…NO! I am NOT! Fine. Fine. Good. Goodbye."

And with this, Xander slammed the phone down on the receiver, nearly cracking the plastic of the thing. Yet he didn’t seem to care as he sighed tiredly and put his head into his hands.

"Dear god…"

"What’s wrong?" Andra asked urgently, pulling herself into a sitting position like he was in, "What happened? Was that what I think it-"

"Yes, Andra…" he said, the fatigue and pain clear in his voice, "I just broke up with my girlfriend over the phone. Just told her no. No more."

Then, "Dear God…"

Andra looked at him, then nearly cried. She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to hold him to her and let him put his grief on her shoulders. God, how she now wanted to touch him. And it hurt so badly that she couldn’t. Andra felt her heart lurch as she realized once more that all she could do was talk. That she didn’t have the luxury of a loving touch. So she did the best she could.

"I’m sorry, Xander…"

He pulled his head from his hands and looked her full in the face. Then that face went from pained to loving.

"I know, Andra. I know…"

"But-"

"Thank you, Andra…"

She wanted to say something else, but understood what she needed to say.

"You’re welcome, Xander…"

END PART 8

PART 9

Xander was walking around the main hallway of the castle, his eyes searching. It seemed misty in the castle, which itself seemed different. Younger, less decrepit. And he felt strange.

His pants, usually so baggy and loose, were tight. And his clothing in general seemed far too heavy and gaudy for him. But that wasn’t what concerned him. What concerned him was the hallway. The left hallway.

He made his way to the hall, his steps echoing in the empty castle. Then he began to walk down the path, stopping halfway down to look at a torch.

There was nothing strange about his torch. It was burning just as bright as the others and looked just as dusty and neglected. But something in his mind told him that this was a very special torch.

Almost unbidden, his hand rose up and took the torch, pulling it down. However, instead of breaking, the torch moved like a lever, and it opened a-

A bell? A trilling bell? What on earth? Xander turned around and around, looking for the cause of the strange sound.

And found himself sitting in his bed, watching the old telephone shake as it’s ringer went of. Sleepily, with just a hint of aggravation, Xander took a hold of the receiver and pulled it to his ear.

"Hi Xander!" came a cheery voice from the other side of the Atlantic, "how you doing?"

"Well…" he told her with just a hint of irritation in his voice, "Sleeping would be WHAT I was doing, but that is the past and this is the present, and at present, I’m talking to you."

"Sleeping?" the Slayer asked, nonplussed, "At this time?"

Xander sighed in deeply, and made a very admirable effort not to scream. Luckily, the effort succeeded, and he just said, "Yes. Remember? Time difference? I’m in Scotland, where it is currently"

He looked at the clock on his bedside.

"Two in the morning…"

"Oh." came the response from Buffy which practically dripped embarrassment, "Sorry."

Xander smiled to himself, and hoped that she could sense it. "No problem, Buffster. I don’t mind getting up for my favorite gal…"

"But what about-"

There was silence.

"Sorry, Xander…" she said, not finishing the very insensitive thing she had been about to say, "I-"

"It’s all right…" Xander assured her as he turned onto his back in the bed, "It was coming. Just so happened that it was then."

"Okay."

"So," Xander said, his voice jovial as he switched the topic, "What’s up with you guys? Killing extra baddies for me?"

"Or course…" Buffy told him with what he could hear was a smile, "But it’s tough without ‘key-guy’…when are you coming home?"

"When I do…" he answered truthfully, no emotion in his voice. He didn’t really want to get into why he was staying. She knew, and he didn’t want to discuss it. It was rather uncomfortable for him due to his confused feelings concerning Andra and Buffy. "I’m trying, but…I keep on forgetting."

Then he switched the topic once more. "So, what’s new with you folks? You didn’t answer the first time…"

"Well," she said, obviously thinking about it, "Not much. No near-apocalyptic battles, no spells-gone-wrong, no evil government agencies springing up…been pretty quiet. You?"

"Hanging out with Andra, mostly…" Xander admitted, "Who has gotten the predicted Bruce Campbell addiction…"

"Ah, a kindred spirit to me and Willow…" Buffy said with a laugh, "I can’t wait to meet her. From what you’ve said, seems like we’d get along great!"

Yeah, like you’re almost the same person, Xander thought.

"Yeah, Buff." He agreed, "I’m sure you would. And I’ll make a point of bringing her back when she has a body."

"Cool."

Suddenly, Xander felt a familiar presence in the room and wanted to hang up. So, sounding sleepier than he actually was, he said:

"Well, I’ll see ya, Buffster…I’m gonna go back to sleep now. I’ll call you back when the sun is up, ‘k?"

"Sure, Xander…" she responded good-naturedly, "And I’ll tell the gang you said hello…"

"Sure. See ya, Buffs…"

"Yeah."

And then he hung up the phone and turned to Andra, who was standing a few feet away from him near the doorway.

"You were talking to her, weren’t you?" she asked carefully, walking further into the room.

Xander nodded.

"Buffy?" Andra continued, "The one who…the one like me."

Xander again nodded.

Andra nodded to herself for a moment, then made her way farther into the room. Eventually, she ended up in front of Xander, who had a rather odd expression on his face.

"You…love her?"

Once more, he nodded his head.

"You…in love with her?" Andra asked, keeping as much emotion out of the question as she could.

This one Xander didn’t answer, which made Andra nervous. He stayed silent and still like that for a minute, but just as she was about to ask again, Xander flopped backwards onto the bed and sighed out three words.

"I don’t know."

At this point, Andra sat down on the bed next to him, but she didn’t say a word.

"I mean, I honestly can’t tell you how I feel because I don’t know myself." Xander admitted, "When I came here, I was…well, I’d loved Buffy since the first moment I saw her. More like I was finding her again instead of meeting her for the first time.

"And, despite the fact that she CLEARLY didn’t feel the same way about me, I continued to love her. I mean, I was practically her boyfriend…in the all-the-jobs-but-none-of-the-perks way, but never did she ever see me as more. Yet, I couldn’t STOP loving her.

"Then Pappy dies, leaves me this place, and I find you. And you look exactly like her, and the second I saw your face, it was like that again, like meeting up with someone I’d known forever and just temporarily lost.

"During these months, I’ve grown to love you, but I can’t say I don’t love Buffy. You see, that’s what confuses me. I…it feels the same to love you both. Like you’re the same person. It doesn’t have anything to do with the resemblance, but…"

Xander took a deep breath.

"But it’s almost as if you’re two halves of a whole."

There was silence in the room as Xander finished, and during this time, Andra simply started into his chocolate brown eyes, as if looking for the answer there since he couldn’t seem to express it with his words. Yet as she searched his soul through those eyes, she knew that what he was saying was the truth. And that she might just have the answer to all his confusion.

"Perhaps…" Andra said slowly with a sigh, "We are…"

Xander shook his head to clear it, then asked, "What?"

"Two parts of a whole…" she continued, getting up and walking around, "I mean, if what I think-"

"What do you think?" Xander asked anxiously.

"Well," Andra said slowly, unsure of what she was saying and wishing she was so as to end his confusion, "I think that just as you are the reincarnation of my Alexander, Buffy is the reincarnation of me…"

Xander shook his head. "But that can’t be. You’re not dead."

"But a part of me has to be!" Andra cried, trying to work it out in her own head, "I don’t know how, but part of me must have moved on!"

He looked about to argue, then paused for a moment. Then, Xander asked, "Why do you think that?"

"Otherwise…" she said logically, "How could another Slayer have been called? Somehow, the Watcher’s Council must have found a way to kill a part of me…just enough to call another Slayer-"

"Like how Buffy died and called Kendra…" Xander finished slowly as the cogs in his own mind worked through what she had said, "So that means…"

"That Buffy and I are the same person, the same soul…parts of a whole…"

"And?" Xander asked, realizing as he did what she was about to say.

"That probably, when I do find my body, I will be incomplete."

There was silence, and then she ended.

"And so, I will die…"

END PART 9

PART 10

Xander’s answer to this was simple, heartfelt, and passionate.

"No."

"What do you-"

"I mean," he said, the anger and fear in his voice strong, "NO."

"No?" she asked, running over to him, "What can you-"

"No." was all he said in a mantra-like way as he picked up the phone and began dialing, "No. No. No. No."

Each ‘no’ was punctuated by a stab at that phone, but he didn’t stop when he heard wringing, and just barely stopped when Giles picked up the other end.

"Hello. Giles’ residence. How may I-"

"Have you ever heard of a Slayer left alive in a castle?" Xander asked quickly.

"A Slayer left- why do you…in a castle? Xander?" the Watcher asked in confusion. He had no idea where the young man was going with all of this.

"Yes, a Slayer left alive…entombed, but alive…unfindable. Have you heard of one? And do you know how they called the next Slayer since she was still alive?"

There was a pause, and Xander could hear the turning of pages over the phone line. Giles’ voice came back then, still confused.

"Yes, there is a record of a young woman that was hidden in a castle by a witch…supposedly her sister, from what this says. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Andra." Xander said simply.

"Andra?" Giles asked, completely lost. "What would a ghost have to do with all of this?"

Xander nearly slammed the phone on the floor with aggravation. "No, she’s not DEAD. I thought I explained all of this!"

There was a pause as if the other was trying to silently explain that he HADN’T been told, then the Watcher asked, "So…she is truly not dead?"

"NO!"

"Well," Giles answered with a strange note to his voice, "Then I am guessing that she is the young Slayer left in the castle, correct?"

"Yes…" Xander said, calming down as much as he could. And that wasn’t much, since he was very upset. To think, Andra, a beautiful, wonderful girl, would die just as she got her first chance in centuries to touch and feel and taste. That Andra, the girl he had fallen in love with during long nights of talking in the castle, midday picnics on the castle grounds, and the occasional stroll in the nearby village was going to die…he just wanted to strangle whatever powers controlled things like this.

"Then…I am unsure." Giles told him plainly. He wasn’t going to lie to the boy, not when he was so obviously emotionally involved, "I don’t really know what they did to call the next Slayer after her. All it reads here is that they ‘killed her in the eyes of Fate’ which could mean a variety of things."

"Give me the ‘variety’, G-man…" Xander said, barely restraining himself. Didn’t the Watcher understand how important this was?

"That would take at least a day and a half, cost you a fortune in phone bills, and likely not get us anywhere." The former librarian told him tiredly, "But since I am unfamiliar with the entire situation, it would help things greatly if you told me all that YOU know. What you have told me so far over the last months has been pitifully short…one of the reasons I thought your Andra was a simple ghost."

So Xander, calming down only slightly, began to tell the Watcher about the tapestries, the dreams, the strange familiarity with the castle, and Andra’s theories. And the Watcher listened carefully, giving the occasional ‘hmm’ as he heard something he had missed from Xander’s earlier calls.

Finally, there was a pause as Giles thought over everything that had been told to him. Then, with a fatigue to his voice that told Xander he was truly upset about what he was about to say, Giles told him, "I have no idea what they did…but I suspect that Andra is correct."

"No." Xander said as the fear and rage built again. "No! I’ll go down to the Watcher’s Council myself! I’ll go and MAKE them tell me! I don’t care how…I’ll blackmail them…yeah, I’ll tell the world about vampires and stuff if they don’t!"

As he angrily shouted into the phone, he could almost feel the spiritual hands that were attempting to comfort him. He also heard the calm, soft voice in his ear.

"Xander…" Andra told him gently, "Don’t shout. There’s no need. Please, dear, don’t get upset…"

Xander, tears starting in his eyes, turned away from her into the phone and asked in a trembling voice, "Giles? Is there any hope that she’ll live when I find her body?"

"There is a-"

"GILES!"

"A hope…" the Watcher told him, "But just a hope. In all likely hood, though, she will die when her body is found."

There was silence as both parties thought over what had just been said, then Xander told Giles something strange.

"Fine. Please tell Buffy and Willow know that they won’t be able to meet Andra, and that I’ll be coming home really soon, okay?" the young man said tersely, his emotions firmly reigned in, "Bye, G-man…"

"Xander-"

"BYE, Giles…" Xander said patiently. But he couldn’t hide his anger enough not to slam the phone into it’s receiver. Nor could he hide it any longer, because as soon as the phone was put down, he collapsed on the bed. Andra, carefully so as not to upset him further, sat down on the bed next to him.

"Xander?" she asked gently, wishing she could hold him in her arms and make him feel better. But now, she knew, there was a chance she’d never be able to do that.

He waited a second before answering, then got up slowly and calmly, looked into her eyes and said, "I’m not looking any more."

"You’re not-"

"I’m not looking for your body anymore…" Xander told her clearly as he wiped tears off of his face, "In fact, I’m leaving the castle."

"But-"

"If I stay…" Xander said, his voice that same quiet, calm tone that told her he was near tears again, "I’ll continue to have dreams…and I’ll find your body without wanting to. And I won’t find you just for you to die."

"But, Xander-"

"NO!" the young man shouted, the tears starting up again as his walls broke down, "I am not going to kill you!"

And with this he got up and went running out of the room. Andra followed him as he stomped into the hallway.

"Xander-"

"No."

"Xander!"

"No!"

Finally, she got in front of him, her expression just daring him to walk through her. He didn’t.

"Xander-"

"No, I’m not going to-"

"NO!" Andra shouted back, "I am not a child. I was 19 when I ended up like this, and I’ve been alive for the last five hundred years! You will NOT treat me like a child, and you will NOT make a decision for me!"

"It’s not your decision…" Xander told her firmly, "It’s mine. And I DECIDE to leave."

"NO YOU DON’T, ALEXANDER!" she screamed, "It’s mine. I’m the person whose been here for five hundred years! I’m the person whose had to live without flesh, without being able to taste or feel. I’m the person whose been waiting for five centuries for my love, the one who would finally find my body.

"And to be perfectly honest, even if I die when my body is found, I know that I will be with my Alexander. And that will be better than sitting in this God-forsaken castle for the rest of eternity!"

"But Andra-"

"No, Xander…" she said, now much more quiet, "I…I’m sick of doing this. I’m sick of living like this. Sick of not being able to touch…to comfort. I don’t want this. I’d rather die then face another century of this."

"No…no!" Xander said like a small child who was attempting to scare off the boogeyman, "No…"

Then he ran down the steps, grabbed his coat from a hanger in the main hall, and made his way down the left hallway, at the end of which was his newly bought car (German made, of course). But as he tried to get his coat on AND walk, the coat got caught on one of the torch-holders.

Yet instead of simply ripping the jacket, the torch-holder pulled down, with a very disturbing result…

As Andra and Xander watched, a section of the wall moved aside, revealing a small narrow stone passage…

END PART 10

PART 11

Almost immediately, Xander grabbed the torch forcefully and tried to push it back into place, as if to undo what had been done. But after a few moments of futile shoving, he realized that what had happened couldn’t be changed.

"Dear God…" Andra gasped in shock, "I never guessed…I never realized. Of all the-"

"You weren’t supposed to." Xander said tiredly, upset at himself, "Only I could find the damned thing, remember?"

This earned him an icy look from Andra, but as she took in his sadness, her eyes softened to him, as did her voice.

"Xander…" she said quietly, "My body is down there. It’s down there."

"I know."

"And I intend to go find it."

"I know."

"And…" Andra said with just a hint of pleading in her voice, "I want you to come with me."

Xander seemed about to answer, but stopped himself for a moment. Then his mouth opened, as if to refuse her, but instead just let out a fatigued sigh.

"Fine."

And with this, the two started walking down the tunnel, Andra following Xander through the small stone passageway, his footsteps echoing along the small passageway.

He hated it. He hated every clap of shoe and ground, because it took him closer to the very thing he’d been trying to avoid.

He didn’t want to do this…he didn’t want to kill Andra, even if she did want it. He just couldn’t help her end her life, no matter how long it was. And so as they walked, time seemed to distort itself as the minutes passed eagerly like seconds, until they reached a large room at the end of the hall.

It wasn’t majestic, or well kept. It wasn’t the sort of room you expected to find an enchanted maiden in (for that WAS what Andra was even if it did sound like some cheesy fairy tale), but rather just a large stonewalled room with a stone block in the middle of it.

As they entered the room, he heard Andra gasp once more behind him, but Xander couldn’t bring himself to look. He especially couldn’t look at the stone block. He wouldn’t allow himself to see Andra, in the flesh, because otherwise he’d go mad with the knowledge that she’d have the much-longed for flesh for so very short a time. But eventually, he had to look, and it took his breath away as well.

There, lying on the large gray stone, was Andra.

Her body wore a strange piece of clothing that looked almost like a dress but with a very short skirt, obviously for fighting. It was made of dark blue cloth that probably blended with the night, and in one spot near the hip, Xander found a rip.

It was small and had a small circle of dried blood around it, but from the size of it, Xander figured that had it not contained poison, it would have been a harmless cut for a Slayer to take. It had, in fact, healed over, and through the rip, Xander could see flawless creamy skin that he very much longed to touch but wouldn’t.

His eyes stayed there for a moment, unwilling to move up to see the face of the figure out of pure denial, but finally Xander found the courage to look. And what he saw, though so familiar, brought tears to his eyes.

That same face he had looked into for five years. Those same eyes that he’d looked into so many times, though they were now closed. The same cheek he longed to stroke with one of his fingers. The same lips, and nose, and face. Brown hair that he had often wished to run his fingers through. And as he saw all of this, he couldn’t help the slight tear that fell from his face.

Roughly, Xander wiped the tear off of his face. What was wrong with him? He barely ever showed his emotions, and he never cried, yet in the past few months, he had done both so often it had become almost as natural as his old ‘make jokes, it’ll go away’ method. But he wouldn’t be weak now. He couldn’t.

"Andra?" he asked carefully, pulling himself from his thoughts long enough to wonder where she was.

"Yeah?" She answered, finally walking past him towards the body, "I’m still here…"

"Just checking…" he covered as he watched her circle her sleeping form.

"Dear God…it was so long ago…" Andra said with a strange note to her voice, "So long ago that I had a body…that I could touch and feel. That I could fight. I just want to jump right in."

"Please don’t." Xander asked her quietly.

"Well," she said, continuing to circle, "That’s a tough choice. I mean, it’s a trade, isn’t it? One moment of being able to hold you in my arms again, or going on like this, with you till you die, but never able to touch."

"Tough choice." Xander agreed succinctly.

"I thought so too…" Andra said, still with the circling, "But then I remembered something…"

"What?" he asked, thinking that perhaps she had decided not to rejoin with her flesh.

Yet then, without warning, she jumped into her body.

Xander had seen some majicks in his days as a Slayerette, but this was something that amazed even him. It was like an animatronic doll come to life as Andra’s body lifted up from the block of stone. A beautiful porcelain doll. He watched in awe and something very near horror as she shook her head to clear it, then turned beautiful hazel eyes to him.

"Xander, I-"

But almost immediately, she was cut off as body-wracking coughs went through her, zapping her strength and making her fly back down to the slab. Xander, frightened out of his mind at the thought of losing her, ran quickly to the stone and caught her before she hit her head on the hard rock.

"Andra, I-"

"Shhhhh…" she told him quietly, pressing her finger onto his lips gently before coughing violently once more, "None of that. We both knew this was coming. I don’t want any tears or regrets…"

The words she spoke were so similar to what his Pappy had told him that Xander could not help the tear that fell down his face and onto her dress.

"But Andra, I-"

"Shhhh…" Andra told him again as she gave him a light peck on the cheek, "I don’t have the breath to waste to argue with you, as you can tell. But I need to let you know some things before the inevitable happens…oh, this is nice…"

"What?"

"That I love you." She told him just before letting loose with another cough, "I love you so much that I can’t even feel the pain right now. All I can feel is your arms around me…"

"I love you too…" Xander said as he continued to hold her, the tears forming in his eyes yet not falling. He wouldn’t fail her again. He wouldn’t cry. He’d be strong for her when she needed it.

"My dear Alexander…" Andra said dreamily, "You DO love me, I know. You do. And my love for you is what truly kept me here, I think. For that, I know, is the part of my soul that the Watcher’s could never ever take."

"Never." Xander repeated quietly before he braced himself just in time for another coughing fit.

"There’s something else I must tell you." Andra continued, this time her face serious as what was facing her in mere minutes.

Xander waited, then watched as her lips curled into a gentle smile. A gentle smile with warmth that made the young man’s heart pound. Then those lips reached up and met his own, and it seemed almost as if electricity was passing through the both of them. As if they could both fly. As if…the kiss was everything Xander had ever dreamed it would be, even though she was as weak as a kitten. Yet as she pulled away, he knew that what she said next would be her last.

But what she said was something that confused him deeply through his pain.

"You can’t get rid of me this easily…"

END PART 11

PART 12

Xander grabbed his bags from the compartments above his seat, and began the noisy and arduous process of getting off the plane.

It had been a long trip back, and it wasn’t completely the airplane that was to blame. He’d been thinking on the flight, thinking on all that had happened in that castle in Scotland. All the wonderful things, all the glorious things, all the heart-breaking things.

All his times with Andra.

And even as he thought of the picnics, the nights of watching movies together, the days of going out shopping, he could not take one moment out of him mind. The moment of her death.

They had kissed, then she had spoken her strange words, and then she had died. That moment he could remember clearest of all, that strange half-second as he felt all the life, all the emotion, all the love, all the things that made her Andra and not just a heap of flesh, drain out of her. That moment when she had left him.

He almost couldn’t forgive her for that. For jumping into her body without warning, for not giving him a chance to say his goodbyes. For leaving him.

But it was Andra, and he had loved her with all of his heart and soul, and so he could forgive. He could forgive, because she had given him so much.

She had given him love, and caring, and confidence, and a shoulder to cry on, even if he couldn’t actually cry on her shoulder. But most of all, Andra had given him the knowledge that he was lovable.

Sure, he’d had other girlfriends, but those relationships had been nothing more than lust. They had had lust for him, but never love. Cordelia had come close, but that door had been shut by him far too soon for anything to come of it. And Anya had had some caring for him, but Xander knew that lust had driven that relationship.

The throng behind him on the plane, however, jostled Xander’s thoughts out of him, and realizing that he needed to get out of there, he quickly made his way out as soon as possible after that.

As he got out of the gate, Xander began looking for Buffy and Mrs. Summers, who were his ride home. Sure, he could have hired a cab or a limo, but he wasn’t going to let the money change him. That, and he really needed to have people who cared about him around him to ease the pain a little.

Finally, he spotted Buffy and her mother over in the corner of the waiting area, and quickly walked over there. As soon as he got there, Xander dropped his bags and gave Mrs. Summers a big hug.

"Xander…it’s so nice to see you home!" the elder Summers told him with a bright smile on her face. But that smile quickly faded to a look of compassion. "Oh, honey, I’m so sorry…"

Xander shook his head. "It’s all right. I’ll…be okay."

"I’m sure you will, Xandman!" Buffy said cheerfully as she picked up his little bags, "And welcome back to the good old US of A!"

Mrs. Summers, her eyes wide in shock, gave Buffy a chilling look for her seeming insensitivity. But Buffy didn’t seem to take notice. She just smiled and gave Xander a quick hug.

"Good to see you back, ‘key guy’…" she said, a smile on her face. And Xander, like he always did, hide his pain and smiled at her.

"Good-" his voice cracked, "Good to be back, Buffster…"

"Great!" Buffy’s mom went along with the whole cheerful thing, figuring that was how he dealt with pain. "Let’s go get your bags, okay dear?"

"Sure, Mrs. S…" Xander responded as he began walking toward the bag pickup. He was moving quickly as he did, so he began to get ahead of the Summers women, but Buffy wouldn’t let him go and caught up quickly.

"So, Xander, how’d things go?" Buffy asked, a strange note in her voice.

"Great…" he responded, hearing the sarcasm in his voice and wishing it wasn’t there. "Just wonderful…"

It was then that Buffy stepped in front of him and turned around to face him. He stopped in his tracks.

"Don’t lie to me, Xander…" she said in that same strange tone.

"Leave me alone, Buffy…" Xander told her, trying to go by her to get his bags. But he was frozen by what she said next.

"Cause if you do, I’ll sing you ‘Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall’ while you’re trying to sleep…"

Xander, too startled to even utter a word, turned and looked at her, shock plainly written on his features. She just smiled back.

"Andra?" he finally got out as he stepped back to look at her. Same Buffy as always, but now the eyes held a bizarre twinkle in them that they hadn’t had before.

"One and the same…" she answered cheerily, "Finally."

"Andra!?" Xander asked in disbelief and confusion. Dear God, could it be so? He prayed it was so.

"Yup," she said, her voice now soft and caring, "It’s me, Xander…it’s really me."

"But…you’re Buffy!" he pointed out, his shocked brain not quite working right, "You didn’t possess Buffy, did you?"

This made her grin. "No, Xander…I didn’t possess anybody. Don’t you understand? It’s just like you said! We were two halves of a person. And when I died, the two halves met up again."

"So…you’re Buffy AND Andra?" he asked, happier than he’d ever been in his entire life.

"Yes, Xander…" she answered, "I’m whole now."

This made Xander immediately jump over and hug her tightly. Andra wasn’t dead! Andra wasn’t dead! his mind screamed. Then he went to kiss her, but stopped inches from her lips. He didn’t know if-

"Xander, you really don’t get this do you?" Buffy/Andra said with a grin, "I was right. The part of my soul that knew you to be my love, my soulmate, was in that castle. That’s why I never…that’s why I could never find the right guy to love, because my ability to love the way I was supposed to was stuck.

"But now I know. Now, I can love like I’ve always wanted to love. Not like I loved Angel or Riley, but TRUE love. And my true love is you, Xander. My soulmate…is you…"

Xander didn’t even go for more questions. He just kissed her for all he was worth. Kissed her passionately, and tenderly, and hungrily. Kissed her like he’d been waiting centuries to do it, which perhaps he had. And she kissed him back, and it was more amazing that anything the two of them had ever felt. It was perfect. It made everything right with the world.

"Xander, I love you…" she said after pulling back for air.

"Buffy, I-" he began, then laughed, "Man, I don’t even know what to call you."

"Call me ‘your dearest’ then…" she told him with a loving smile.

"All right, my dearest, but what do I call you otherwise?"

"Buffy Anne Summers should work" she replied with a short giggle.

"Well then, my dearest Buffy Anne Summers," he said with a flourish and a bright smile, "I love you too…"

END PART 12

THE END