| The story starts:
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with Xander walking dejectedly away from the Scooby Gang.
with Xander noticing that he can smell the emotions of his friends.
with Xander stopping by the Summers house for food.
with Xander falling on his ass.
with Xander stumbling across evidence of alien landings in Sunnydale.
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with Xander in surgery, giving Elizabeth "Anne" Summers a heart transplant.
with Xander driving away from LA blasting country music.
with Oz necking Xander while he tries to watch cartoons.
with Xander cleaning his small gun collection which he got during the debacle with the Judge.
with Xander rising from the grave.
with Xander killing at least fifteen vampires by himself, while Buffy and the gang remain unaware.
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| Who is the first person he sees?
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a vampire trying to kill him.
Buffy or Willow, who think that he's acting weird.
Anya. They have a dinner date for later that night.
Angel, who promptly kicks his ass and tells him to go home.
A mysterious stranger who seems to give Xander a headache.
Someone outside of the Scooby Gang who acknowledge his abilities as being amazing.
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Spike. They're plotting to take over the world together.
A kindly old woman who works at a diner.
Whoever is attempting to have sex with him.
No one. He's out at the graveyard, taking out vampires with calculated headshots.
An innocent.
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| Who is Xander going to end up with in this fic?
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Whoever he REALLY wants at the time.
Buffy or Willow, and he will no doubt have proven to them that he is powerful enough to be with them. He probably sacrificed something or other for them too.
Buffy. Xander's looking for a strong woman.
Whoever he had at the beginning of the fic.
No one. He's alone, and he deserves it.
Princess Zelda.
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Tara. Because he doesn't give a shit about Willow's feelings at all.
An original character who will bring him out of the darkness he seems stuck in.
Spike...or Angelus. Oooh. Maybe Oz! No, no...Andrew. Thier luv is so pure!!!!!111!!1!one!!
No one. Or a Slayer. It's one of those things. *pause* I like guns.
Willow...in leather. Or Cordelia...in leather.
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| What kind of feedback do you get?
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"That was fun. Thanks for writing a really good fic. Keep up the good work."
"Wow. That was neat. I love it when people bring up the earlier seasons. There's so much potential there."
"Wow. I love Xander, and you captured him perfectly in this fic. Please, write more."
*insert flame here*
"Dude! That was awesome! I can't believe you made it work, cause I thought it was impossible! Cool! Sequel please! I want to find out what happened to Amanda!"
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"Wow. Thas g8! Mor please!"
"Hm. I thought that he'd have a lot to deal with at this point in his life. Poor guy."
"OMG, that was SO HOT. S/X is just SOOOO hot!"
"Cool. Xander kicks ass. They shoulda used guns on Buffy more often; it would have made more sense."
�That�s great! I love it when the X-man gets to kick ass! Buffy had it coming!"
"HHHHM...LEATHERPANTS! *insert screaming fangirls*"
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| What is Xander and Buffy's relationship like?
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He's pretty pissed at her and her coddling. He can take care of himself, dammit! But in the end, he still cares for her.
He wants to take her up against the first surface he can find.
They are very close friends, and while Xander might still harbour something for Buffy, she feels like he's more of a brother figure then anything. They trust each other. It's nice.
At first, she thinks he�s useless, but once he reveals how great he is, she considers him her best friend...or throws herself at him.
She thinks he's a moron, and he whines about it.
After saving her from the forces of Lord Vader while stopping some apocalyptic lawn gnomes that managed to slide from an alternate dimension, she threw herself at him, realizing then that she truly loved only him.
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They never became friends, because Xander let her die down in the sewers.
Pretty thin. They've been through hell and back together, but their friendship is not what it once was.
She thinks he's a disgusting homo, and tries repeatedly to either injure or "cure" him from this horrible disease of sleeping with men...or she doesn�t know.
I dunno. I like guns. OOOO! She thinks I'm tactically brilliant, and my guns make her weak in the knees. Guns...
She's a Slayer. How do you think she feels about a vampiric version of an old friend?
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| So...what do you do for fun?
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Hone my abilities at magic/martial arts/uberpowerfulpower of DOOM.
Try and find new friends...ones who actually respect me.
Hunt. Eat. Sleep.
Hang out with my girlfriend and my other friends. Sometimes we research, sometimes we slay. It all works out.
Duh...
I travel around the world fighting evil with the various peoples I have gotten to know through my amazing exploits.
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Studying to summon demons.
Try and look for a job. There isn't much work for me since... *sigh*
Have sex with increasingly ridiculous items for lube.
Go down the to shooting range and blow off some steam. Guns are good for that.
Sit and angst/plan-evil in my dark lair, hungering for something other then the fine vintage in my glass.
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| Canon much?
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I tend to go somewhat AU, but I don't stray TOO far.
I pull what I like from it, but I usually leave a good chunk of it behind.
Pretty close. I try.
Um...kinda? Sort of a caricature, really.
Which one? Wait...which universe am I in now? I'm confused.
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I haven't watched the series in six years, but I thought that the actors were pretty and the names were cool.
There are Slayers and vampires and demons, if that�s what you mean...
Well...I don't really have any.
More of a subtext kinda fic, if you know what I mean. Cause...Xander calls Spike hot like...three times. I'm sure he was serious.
I start there, but tend to turn into fifty different things since canon wasn't too specific as to where I came from.
I'm AU canon. No really...it's an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE in canon. Or maybe I just like being able to bite things.
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| If you had to be placed in any other series, where would you fit in best?
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Pete and Pete
The Crocodile Hunter
Xena. Hercules. Dragon Ball z.
It wouldn't work. I work in Buffy only, really.
Jackass
All of them. Ever. Wait...ANOTHER series? There are some LEFT?
Well, for this fic, it'd probably be "ER". Something else...I dunno. Casper the Friendly Ghost?
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The Pretender: I'm trying to find out who I am.
Queer as Folk
M*A*S*H...or MacGuyver
Forever Knight
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| What are people's main complaints about me?
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I've been overdone. Season 4 is a long time past now...move on.
It's been a damn long time. Why hasn't this come out before now?
Not many. I can get boring if not done well, but in general, I'm received well if not as enthusiastically as some.
Okay...Xander isn't the brightest, but DAMN! I'm not too nice to him.
You can't tell who is who anymore, and the plot is just so drowned in various different universes that it doesn't make a whole lotta sense at this point. Let's not even bring in the "was it really necessary?" question.
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I tend to be WIP and stay WIP forever.
I�m not BTVS.
I'm kinda depressing. I mean, I know life kinda sucks, but DAMN.
Wait...when did Xander start dating guys? What happened to Cordy and Willow and Buffy and-gah. Just give up.
I have a lot of guns, and usually go overboard on their descriptions.
I try my best not to be a story about Deadboy Jr., but sometimes its just HARD. And I know that the Watchers probably would have picked up on a breed of vampires that's so different from the kinds we stake, but let's just leave that alone, okay?
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| What will someone who's read you fourty million times before probably scream?
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"Jeez...isn't one time enough?"
"Oh, just go feral already. We know you're going to..."
"Hm...shoulda popped in my tapes."
"Okay, even XANDER's not that much of a dingbat! No fair!"
"Wait...is that John guy another crossover, or...hm...HEY CAROL, WAS THERE SOMEONE NAMED 'JOHN BARKER' IN Beverly Hills Cop Three?"
"Have you even SEEN the series?"
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"Doesn't he have foreman's experience? Seriously. There ARE jobs...he's done the finding jobs thing before. Why so much angst NOW!?"
"What�s the point to Buffy even BEING there?�
"I have no problem with slash but...how did we get to Angel/Xander in less then six lines?
"Yes...yes...yes...If I wanted a list of guns, I'd get a list. I came to read a story. I mean, does he even NEED this many? Do I need to KNOW what they look like, all 150 of them? Does he even USE them all? He better!"
"Oh...look...he's beating up Spike/Angel...stupid vampire pissing games..."
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| What season are you generally from?
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End of Third
First
Wherever
First or Second. Occasionally, Fourth.
End of Third or somewhere in Fourth. Occasionally in the middle of Second.
It's anyone's guess, really...
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End of Seventh
Depends. Spike tends to get the creepy basement sex in Fourth.
Third or Fourth
Third and beyond, usually.
Whenever the author feels like I�m not getting enough attention.
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| Okay...back to the characters: how do you see Giles?
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He's okay. But he does side with Buffy on the whole "get me out of slaying" thing.
Well, he's helping me keep my secret, so I guess he's cool.
He's Giles.
I call him "G-man" all the time, and he thinks I'm a stupid brat. Jerk.
He'll probably just rub his glasses and say "oh dear" to all the new friends I brought to Sunnydale.
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Willow and I are secretly planning to kill him so we can get to his connections in the Argentinian drug trade.
I keep up with him by phone, but he's got so much work to do, and I have work to find. *sigh*
I've slept with him more then once. What of it?
He's probably going to be startled by my collection of guns, but he's practical. I figure he'll take to them like a duck to water.
He wants to research the amazing changes I�ve gone through.
I killed him first.
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| You SUCK! Your response?
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Fine! I'm leaving!
Would you care to be the appetizer, or the main course? Yeah...I thought that's what you said.
Hey...whatever you wanna say.
*insert large explosion*
::cries himself to sleep::
Do you want me to call Blade, 2 armed Immortals, the entirity of the Thundercats, and one giant irate StayPuft Marshmellow man to kick your ass? I didn't think so...
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It's fanfic. I can do what I want to do. Shut up! It's not like you're paying for this!
Okay...I just lost everything. I'm in a really bad mood. Don't make me kick your ass.
That's what your father asked me to do last night! ::goes off to have more random buttsex::
My AK-47 disagrees.
Oooo...feisty prey. Looks like fun. Go ahead and run...it'll just add to the flavor.
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| So how do you end?
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I've proven my self worth, saved the day, and shown that I'm a worthwhile part of the Scooby Gang. I love life.
With Xander happily with -fillinblank-, the evil gone, and a new protector for the Hellmouth *shinyshiny*.
Either the problem is banished, or I get to keep the abilities and use them to help with the slaying.
I end just about the same way an episode would end.
Xander's probably either really embarrassed, or dead.
I'm supposed to end?
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Everyone's dead...except for Xander. And Jonathon.
With renewed hope...or even more depressed then when I started.
::is still busy with the random buttsex::
Happily. Cause I get to keep the guns.
Either Xander saves the day, or everyone's dead and there's lots of angst.
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As a side note, I'd just like to thank Crystal Dawn at http://www.violetandgold.com. 