|
Mama went to be with the Lord on June 24th, 2000. I never wanted to believe that she was really sick, even when I seen her laying there in her weak and fragile condition. She kept telling my sis and I that we needed to get to Houston , that she wasn't gonna be around much longer. And even after I got there and seen her so weak and tired, I could not comprehend it. I just couldn't accept that my mom was not invensible. I was with her for two weeks before we took vacation, (one that I regret taking). I had a bad feeling that I would be getting a dreaded phone call from home saying I needed to get back that she was getting worse, but the phone call I got was even much more then that, she would be gone, The pit of my stomach just dropped. I just couldn't accept it, not my mom, she was too young, she was my mom. What would I do without her!!! The drive back seemed like it took forever. As I walked in the room where her body was laid out for viewing. it seemed to close in on me. I felt like it was all a dream. But it wasn't, my mama was gone...she was really gone forever..Why didn;t I listen to her. She told us it wasn't gonna be long. She knew, her body had went through many changes with the cancer, before the final days of her journey . She had went through many horrible chemo treatments, many radiation treatments, none of which was worth her agonizing pain with the cancer that invaded her lungs and eventually took her from us. Nothing prepares you for the loss. Not even the reality of all the weight she had lost or the pain and the weakness she went though. No, nothing will prepare you for the loss. Today it still isn't real to me. I keep this very picture sitting on top of my entertainment center, and so many times I want to pick up the phone to call her and tell her how much I miss her, and then it hits me, I can't she's no longer here. |
|
