Jerri's feeling ugly, but Orlando inspires her to run for Homecoming Queen. She writes her feelings down in a note to Orlando, which Noblet reads some of in class: "My vagina is on fire. I'm trying not to scratch it, Orlando, I'm afraid it'll get infected. P.S., I just know I'm gonna win the Homecoming Queen. That'll show those sons of bitches, especially Noblet, that homo -- " Mr. Noblet requests Jerri's presence after class, which ends about two seconds later. He's concerned about the information in the note that Jerri wrote -- at least the part about Jerri running for Homecoming Queen. After explaining that "we all want to be Homecoming Queen," Mr. Noblet delicately discourages Jerri from expecting to win the Homecoming Queen contest, by telling her that she lacks beauty. He tells her that she's only as ugly as other people think she is, and then he tells her to run along and have fun. He proceeds to look at his face in a mirror and cry.
Jerri tries to break into the Homecoming Queen nomination box, in order to take her name out of it. Orlando happens to be nearby and she blames him for her predicament. He explains that she can't take her name out of the box, since everyone heard Mr. Noblet read her note. She concludes that she's "gonna be the laughingstock of Flatpoint High." She wants to take all of the other names out of the box so that she'll be guaranteed to win, but Orlando informs her that she can't run against herself. Her plan is to take everyone else's name out of the box, except for her name and someone she could actually win against. She sees Becky Ann Bedecker and puts her name in the box, concluding that she could beat Becky Ann's face with her ass.
At lunch in the cafeteria, Mr. Jellineck sits with Jerri and discusses her Homecoming Queen nomination. Although he agrees with Jerri that Becky Ann is a "cave dweller," he tells her that Becky Ann is "a shoe-in for that inner beauty category." Jerri asks how she can flaunt her inner beauty in front of a bunch of judges. Mr. Jellineck advises her to help needy people. Jerri asks Mr. Jellineck if he knows anything about helping people. He replies, " 'Course I do. Why do you think I'm such a popular teacher?" He says this just before getting hit in the head with a hamburger bun thrown by football player/bully P-John. While contemplating the idea of helping people, Jerri steals one of Mr. Jellineck's cucumbers and eats it, as he turns to compliment P-John's throwing techniques. Mr. Jellineck tells Jerri that "it's inner beauty that wins people's hearts." Mr. Jellineck is knocked out of his seat by an apple thrown at him and Jerri says she'll think about whether or not she wants to help someone. Before leaving, she avenges Mr. Jellineck's injury by throwing Mr. Jellineck's banana at P-John, almost knocking him out of his chair.
At home, Jerri finds her stepmother's Homecoming Queen sash and crown. Jerri tells her stepmother that she was nominated for Homecoming Queen and her stepmother immediately assumes that the nomination was a prank. Jerri asks her stepmother what she did to win her Homecoming crown. She replies that for the inner beauty category, she helped the terminally ill. As Derrick is making out with Jerri's semi-nemesis Yasmine, Jerri asks Derrick who he'll be voting for, since he is one of the Homecoming Queen judges. He says that they're all voting for Becky Ann, because even though she and Jerri are both ugly, Becky Ann helps people. Her stepmother's mention of ill people gives Jerri the idea to help an ill child, and she dresses up like a clown to entertain the child. She brings him to the school instead of entertaining him at the hospital, because "if a tree is nice in the forest and no one is there to see it, does it become Homecoming Queen?" Jerri puts on a play with a chicken and a weasel in the leading roles, in order to entertain the child. The weasel eventually attacks the chicken, creating stomach-turning amounts of violence and blood. Becky takes the child "away from the scary clown." Jerri has failed at her first attempt to help someone.
Jerri goes outside the school, where Coach Wolf, Mr. Jellineck and Mr. Noblet are sunbathing. Jerri says that she isn't good at helping people, because, she says, "I don't like people. I like me." Mr. Jellineck, who is, of course, unfamiliar with self-absorption, asks, "Does everything have to be about you, Jerri?" Jerri explains that even though she might not be much, she's all she thinks about. Coach Wolf advises Jerri to help people by talking about herself. Principal Blackman soon joins the sunbathing, since he wants "to be as dark as an eggplant." Later, at the Homecoming Celebration, Jerri wonders why she thinks she has a chance of winning, since she's "a boozer, a user and a two-time loser." Becky Ann's comment to Jerri in combination with the advice that Coach Wolf gave to her earlier gives Jerri the idea to talk to others about her experiences, to prevent them from going down the same road she did. Jerri begins her speech by asking how many people in the audience would like to wake up in a pool of what they hope is their own filth. She explains that she wants her speech to prevent this from happening to the audience members, including "the Jew in the back." Jerri connects with the audience by asking various students what their problems are and relating the problems to her own past. She assures the audience that although she's a pathological liar, everything she has said is the truth. Jerri receives the audience's applause, her name shouted in unison, a standing ovation and the judges' votes. However, although Jerri technically won and only she and Becky Ann were nominated, Principal Blackman announces that Yasmine won. Jerri soon accepts her loss, because she's learned that "being beautiful on the inside may be its own reward, but it can never beat an ass like Yasmine." She then demonstrates some donkey tricks with the Flatpoint mascot, for Orlando's viewing pleasure.
Mr. Jellineck scenes: At the beginning of the episode, Mr. Jellineck tells the football players that he wants to start seeing their "young athletic faces" in his art class. One of these young athletes, P-John, mentions a rumor that Mr. Jellineck would be running for Homecoming Queen. Mr. Jellineck explains that he's a boy and that the Homecoming Queen contest is for girls. P-John tells Mr. Jellineck that he has "such pretty hair," a comment which causes Mr. Jellineck's tears to flow. Mr. Jellineck is later seen in the cafeteria, trying to sit with the varsity football players. They don't want him sitting with them, so he sits at Jerri's table, which has plenty of empty seats. As Mr. Jellineck converses with Jerri, the football players throw food (including fries, a hamburger bun, a baked potato and an apple) at him. He advises Jerri to show her inner beauty to the Homecoming Queen judges. The food-throwing eventually angers Mr. Jellineck, leading him to yell, "God damn it! A baked potato? That hurt! Look, I'm enjoying this as much as you people, but it is gonna stop now!" An apple then hits him in the head and knocks him out of his seat and onto the floor. Mr. Jellineck is also seen sunbathing outside the school, along with Coach Wolf, Mr. Noblet and later, Principal Blackman. Jerri talks to Mr. Jellineck and tells him that she's not good at helping people.
During the closing credits, Mr. Jellineck dances with Jerri. In addition, Mr. Noblet and Jerri jump on Mr. Jellineck and he spins them around.
with him in the cafeteria.
of an art teacher.
while transforming a napkin into a
bib.
from his plate.
apple hurts...
cucumbers from lunch to use.
home page.