Jerri is walking around a flea market and she picks up a guitar.
Jerri: Excuse me, how much is this guitar?
Flea Market Guy: Five bucks.
Jerri: Really? That�s it?
Flea Market Guy: I just wanna get rid of that thing. About 15 years ago, I traded it to some boozehound crack whore for a baby. I sold the baby and made a pretty penny, but ever since that day, I�ve had nothing but bad luck. Every time I throw it away, it somehow comes back, and nobody will buy it.
Jerri: That�s funny. Fifteen years ago, I exchanged my baby for a guitar that looked just like this one. And I was a boozehound crack whore back then. But now, I�m a high school freshman living at home, starting my life right from where I left off that day I ran away from home over 30 years ago.
Flea Market Guy (while counting the money Jerri gave him): Small world.
Jerri takes the guitar and tries to play the opening chords of Led Zeppelin�s �Stairway to Heaven.� The Flea Market Guy cringes.
(opening credits)
Episode Title: Jerri�s Cause
First scene: Mr. Noblet�s class.
Noblet: Today we�ll be learning about the life and times of Mother Theresa. To make a short story long, Mother Theresa was born in a small village in North Dakota�
Jerri starts falling asleep. The next thing she hears is Mr. Noblet�s voice.
Noblet�s voice: Jerri, wake up! (he slaps her to wake her up and continues doing so after she finally wakes up)
Jerri: Geez Louise!
Noblet: I�m sorry, Jerri, but I had to wake you up, so you can get out of my classroom.
Jerri looks around the room and notices that the rest of the class is gone.
Jerri: I missed the whole class?
Noblet: Yes, Jerri�and has anyone ever told you that you snore like a caveman?
Jerri: Yeah, but why didn�t anyone wake me up?
Noblet: Well, even though your snoring was loud and obnoxious, it was still, not surprisingly, less distracting and annoying than when you�re awake in class.
Jerri: So what did I miss?
Noblet: I don�t know, who can keep track of every little thing I say? But I do know this. The point I was trying to make was that everyone should try to make a difference in the world before they die. Show that your existence has some meaning. Even one person can make a difference. (starts to leave and then turns around back to Jerri) Oh, and write a paper about today�s lecture. It�s due next Monday.
Jerri: What? But I missed the whole thing!
Noblet: Then I�ll make it easy for you, since I can�t stand talking to you one moment longer. Do something to make a difference in the world and write a paper on what you did to make a difference.
Next scene: Jerri is walking down the sidewalk.
Jerri (to herself): I�ve got to figure out how I can make a difference.
Jerri passes by an animal shelter with the sign, �Make a difference � adopt a pet.�
Jerri (to herself): Make a difference? Where have I heard those words before? Hmm�make a difference by adopting a pet? Well, I do have a lot of love to give.
Homeless guy (holding his hand out): Can you spare some change?
Jerri: Ugh, what is that stench? You smell like you slept in a pile of �
Woman with tray: Shitake mushroom sample?
Jerri: Don�t mind if I do!
As the homeless guy tries to reach for a mushroom, Jerri picks up the plate of mushrooms and puts the plate and the mushrooms in her bag; the woman with the tray shrugs and walks away.
Jerri (while reaching in her bag to take out mushrooms and eat them): Now, what was I saying? (she eats a mushroom) Oh yeah, you really stink like � (she looks through the window of the shelter and sees a dog) Shitzu! I love those!
Jerri goes into the shelter and walks over to the shelter�s director.
Jerri: One shitzu to go, please.
Director: We don�t have any. We had one, but someone just adopted it. We do have a rabbit named Shitzu, though. (she points to the rabbits)
Jerri goes over to the rabbits and looks at Shitzu.
Jerri: You�re cute, I�ll give you that. But Shitzu�s a funny name for a rabbit. (laughs) Look at your cute little nose. I�ll name you�Sniffles!
Next scene: Jerri walks into her house with Sniffles. Scabby the cat growls at Sniffles.
Jerri: Get outta here, you mangy cat. We have a new family pet. Her name is Sniffles and she�s ten times better than you.
Sara: Jerri! How dare you belittle my cat?! I can�t afford to send Scabby to a pet therapist again. (she picks up Scabby) Come on, Scabby, I�ll restore your ego with some cat ice cream.
Next scene: Jerri is on her bed with Sniffles.
Jerri: That was my stepmother. (she sneezes) Excuse me, Sniffles. (laughs) Hey, I�ve got the sniffles, Sniffles! I�ve had a lot of pets in my life. You�ve already met Scabby, but that�s my stepmother�s cat. Me, I�ve had a turtle, a snake, a lobster, a chicken, a woodpecker, popcorn shrimp�and most of them have met with unfortunate ends, unfortunately. But things are gonna be different with you, Sniffles. (sneezes) I�m gonna make quite a difference in your life. (sneezes) What�s going on here? Why am I suddenly sneezing, now that I�m spending so much time with you? What could be the link? (sneezes)
Derrick enters the doorway.
Derrick: Hey, Pube, would ya keep it down in here? I�m trying to read my new issue of Hard Monthly.
Jerri: Oh, hello, Senor Turd Burglar.
Derrick (noticing Sniffles and smirking): What�s that? Your new boyfriend?
Jerri: This is Sniffles. (sneezes twice) She�s my new pet rabbit. And she�s fifty times smarter than you, Pole Smoker.
Derrick starts to walk towards Jerri, but a subscription insert falls out of his magazine.
Derrick: You�re lucky this thing fell out of my magazine. (he picks it up and leaves the room; then, he returns) Oh, and by the way, you�re obviously allergic to your stupid rabbit, so why not do us all a favor and get rid of it? (he leaves and closes the door)
Jerri: Me allergic to Sniffles? He doesn�t know what he�s talking about. (sneezes three times and grabs a tissue) No�I can�t be allergic to you. (blows her nose) It�s all in my head. (looks at the tissue) And in my tissue. Man, this thing is soaked! (frowns as sad music plays) The Sac Wrangler�s right. I can�t keep you, Sniffles. Don�t look at me with those sad eyes of yours. I can�t send you back to that shelter. Don�t worry. I�ll find a home for you.
Next scene: School cafeteria.
Jerri is sitting at a table with Sniffles. Orlando sits down.
Orlando: What�s with the rabbit?
Jerri: I just got her yesterday. But I�m allergic to her. Oh, what to do?
Orlando: I could take her.
Jerri: I want her to be someone�s pet, Orlando, not someone�s dinner.
Orlando: No, Jerri, I�d give her to my grandmother. She�s pretty lonely. I think she�d like a rabbit.
Jerri: OK, if you�re sure she won�t be eaten.
Orlando rolls his eyes and picks up the rabbit.
Orlando: I�ll put her in my locker until the end of the day.
Jerri: Wait, let me say my goodbyes first. (sad music plays) Sniffles... (she sneezes) �I�m sure gonna miss you. We've had some good times together. Good times! But don�t worry. You�re going to a good home. I guess I really am making a difference. You need a home and Orlando�s grandmother needs a friend. Everything worked out. (whispers) Just call me if she tries to eat you.
Principal Blackman walks by.
Blackman (while pointing to Sniffles): What is that doing in my cafeteria?
Jerri: It�s my pet rabbit. I�m giving her away, but I�m saying goodbye.
Blackman: Get that thing out of here. I can�t have my students bringing their pets to school! There would be cats and dogs and popcorn shrimp everywhere!
Jerri: Calm down. I�m leaving.
Blackman: Well, hurry it up!
Jerri (trying to pick up Sniffles): You�re scaring her! (Sniffles jumps off the table and hops away) No! (yells) Sniffles! (camera follows Sniffles hopping out of the cafeteria fairly slowly) (Jerri tries to push Blackman out of the way) Get outta my way!
Jerri and Orlando try to find Sniffles, but they can�t find her.
Orlando: I�m sorry, Jerri�maybe she�ll turn up.
Jerri (frowning): Yeah. As tomorrow�s lunch.
Two students walk by.
First Student: Did you hear they�re closing down the Flatpoint Zoo?
Second Student: Yeah, all these people are protesting about the animals being kept in cages.
Jerri (to Orlando as great idea music plays): They can�t close the zoo because of some stupid protesters! Let�s go to the zoo and protest about them closing down the zoo!
Orlando: But what about Sniffles?
Jerri: Huh?
Orlando: Your rabbit.
Jerri: Oh yeah. Well, she�s off on her own now, making a nice life for herself�let�s go save a zoo! And, in the process, I'll be making a difference in the world!
The camera follows Jerri and Orlando leaving the school; we see Sniffles sleeping by a garbage can in the hallway.
Next scene: Jerri and Orlando arrive at the zoo, but the gates are down.
Jerri (yelling to the guard): Hey, Mister! Open the gates.
Guy at Gates: The gates stay down, orders of Mr. Moorehead, the owner.
Mr. Moorehead sees the commotion, walks towards Jerri and Orlando and stands behind the gates.
Moorehead (to Jerri and Orlando): I'm the owner, Mr. Moorehead. Can I help you?
Jerri: Yeah. We�re here to talk to you about closing down the zoo.
Moorehead: Are you more protestors? I told you, we�re giving in to your demands.
Jerri: No. Not closing down the zoo is the thing that we don�t want not to happen. Can we come in and talk to you?
Moorehead: Alright, but it won�t do any good. (yells to guy at gate) David! Gates!
David, the guard, opens the gates.
Jerri and Orlando follow Mr. Moorehead to his office, past the gates. David stops them.
David: What�s that?
Jerri: Bread. It�s for the animals.
David: No feeding the animals. Leave your bread here.
Jerri: But I�m-a want to feed the animals.
David: Leave your bread here or you�ll have to leave.
Jerri leaves the bread and she and Orlando go into Mr. Moorehead�s office.
Jerri: Mr. Moorehead?
Moorehead: Please, call me Craven.
Jerri: Craven. You can call me Jerri. My friend Orlando and I want you to keep this zoo open.
Moorehead: And why is that?
Jerri: Well, for three reasons: One, I�m a big fan of monkeys. (holds her hand out towards Orlando) As you can plainly see. And B, I think that the zoo is very edumacational.
Moorehead: I wish more people were like you, Jerri. But there�s nothing I can do. The protesters outnumber the people who want the zoo to stay open.
Orlando: Where will all the animals go?
Moorehead: The protesters want them back in the wild.
Orlando: How will they survive in the wild after they�ve been living here for so long?
Moorehead: That�s what I said to the protesters, but they just won�t listen. We�ve got one more week, and then the zoo closes for good. I�m sorry.
Jerri and Orlando leave the office.
Jerri: Those poor animals�I care about them so deeply. You wanna go throw rocks at the pandas, for old times�sakes?
Orlando: No, I�m not in the mood.
Jerri: Maybe we could free the monkeys at least. (laughs) They could stay with your family. They�ll fit right in.
Orlando: Very funny�well, I think I�ll go home now.
Jerri: That�s it? It�s over?
Orlando (sad): We lost, Jerri.
Orlando leaves and Jerri appears pensive.
Jerri (to herself): There�s got to be something I can do to make a difference in the world.
Next scene: Mr. Jellineck�s class.
Jellineck: And so, The Museum of Flatpoint Art is going to take away the nude statue of Mr. Noblet that I made, which has been there for the last six months.
Chip: How come?
Jellineck: For some reason, people are offended by the natural beauty of a nude male high school teacher. But all of us here know it�s art. So my plan is to handcuff (holds up handcuffs) myself to my statue and force them to keep it on display. Who�s with me?
Nobody volunteers.
Jellineck: Hmm? Extra credit! Can I just see a show of hands of those of you who will be defending my piece with me tonight?
No hands are raised.
Jellineck: Come on, kids. You can really make a difference.
Jerri (to herself as great idea music plays): Make a difference� (she stands up) Right here, Mr. J! I�d love to handcuff myself to your piece!
Next scene: Jerri and Mr. Jellineck are in the museum, handcuffed to the ankles of Mr. Jellineck�s statue of Mr. Noblet.
Jerri: Where�d you get the extra pair of handcuffs?
Jellineck: Oh, I just keep them on hand�you know, for emergencies.
Jerri: Shouldn�t Mr. Noblet be here? I mean, it�s his body up there.
Jellineck (rolling his eyes): He conveniently had to go away with his wife and kids for the long weekend. I really appreciate this, Jerri. I see now that you truly respect artistic expression.
Jerri: Yeah, yeah, right. Speaking of expression�my bladder has to do a little expressing�which way to the little girl�s room?
Jellineck: You can�t leave, Jerri. We�re handcuffed to my statue until they agree not to take it down.
Jerri: But I gotta pee!
Jellineck: Well, you�ve got two choices: (sarcastically) Go right where you�re sitting, or �
Jerri (closing her eyes): Ahhh�what were you saying?
Jellineck (looking down at Jerri�s wet pants): I was going to say �or hold it in,� but�never mind.
Kid Walking By: Mommy, it smells like pee-pee in here.
Jerri looks at the kid and nods her head towards Mr. Jellineck, implying that he�s the one who peed.
The Museum Director walks over to Jerri and Mr. Jellineck.
Museum Director: I want you two out of here. Get out of my museum before I call the cops.
Jellineck: Not until you promise to keep my piece on display.
Museum Director: Look, nobody likes this piece. The only reasons I put this thing on display were the thirty bucks you gave me and the �A� you gave my daughter last semester. But the money�s been spent and my daughter�s no longer in your class, so I don�t have any reason to keep it here. Nobody has ever liked it and nobody ever will. Just get this piece of junk out of my museum or I�ll get rid of it myself. You�ve got ten minutes before I call the police to drag your pansy ass out of here. (walks away)
Jellineck: They�ll never take us alive. Right, Jerri?
Mr. Jellineck looks over at Jerri, but she�s not there; only her handcuffs are there. He sees Jerri leaving the museum.
Jellineck (yelling): Jerri!
Jerri stops walking away, turns around and walks over to Mr. Jellineck.
Jerri: I�m sorry, Mr. Jellineck, but I just can�t go to jail again. Not even for Mr. Noblet�s nude body. Besides�if Mr. Noblet doesn�t even care enough to be here, why should you?
Jellineck: You�re right, Jerri. (turns to look at the statue) And if it�s true that nobody else enjoyed looking at my piece, then there�s no point in leaving it here�I guess I�ll just take it home and put it in my bedroom, where I can enjoy it in the privacy of my own home. (he stands up and holds out his un-handcuffed hand while still looking at the statue) Jerri, hand me the key to the handcuffs. (he looks around, but Jerri, who had the keys to both pairs of handcuffs, is gone) JERRI! (his scream echoes throughout the museum; Jerri is nowhere in sight)
Next scene: Jerri enters her kitchen and pulls the handcuff keys out of her pocket.
Jerri: I wonder what these are for? Oh yeah, the handcuffs. Well, I don't need them anymore. (she tosses them into the garbage can)
Jerri sees the newspaper on the kitchen table. She sits down, looks at it, comes across an interesting ad and reads it out loud.
Jerri (reading): �Photographer needs your help. Need unique-looking women for top men�s magazines. Two-hundred dollars, cash.� Hmm�I guess I have sort of a unique look. And I could use the money. Plus, I�d be helping a needy photographer. I�ll do it!
Next scene: Jerri enters the photographer�s office and doesn�t see anyone.
Jerri: Hello?
There is no response.
Jerri (to herself): Geez, it�s as quiet as a mouse eating a cat�s brains in here.
A guy walks out of a backroom and sees Jerri.
Guy: Hello. I�m Nick.
Jerri: Jerri.
Nick (eyeing Jerri up and down): You must be here for the photos. You ready to have your picture taken?
Jerri: I sure am. But first, I believe there�s the little matter of a two-hundred dollar cash payment.
Nick: Oh, that�s right. Do you have the money?
Jerri (confused): Wha � ?
Nick: The two-hundred dollars. I need it up front.
Jerri: But I thought you�d be paying me.
Nick laughs.
Nick: You must be a first-timer. The photos I take are for your exposure, to get your face out there. But you�re in luck. I just got a rush job for a magazine photo spread and you�re perfect for it. If your pictures come out alright, I�ll split half the profits with you: 75/25.
Jerri: 75/25? Well, that�s better than what Nico used to give me. So, I�d be helping you out, right? Really making a difference?
Nick: Yeah, yeah. Go over there and stand in front of that barn backdrop.
Jerri: Alrighty.
Nick starts to take pictures of Jerri.
Nick (taking pictures): Nice, nice. You�re a natural. You sure you�ve never done this before? OK, now take your shirt off.
Jerri: Kazzawazzawha?
Nick: Your shirt. These pictures are going to be in a very classy, very popular men�s magazine. Don�t you want exposure?
Jerri�s reluctant.
Nick : Oh, the innocence routine� (sarcastic) I really love this one. Don�t be so bashful.
Jerri: Moi? Bashful? I�ll have you know I earned top dollar on a Mexican game show turning tricks for a donkey.
Nick (getting frustrated): Just take off your shirt and let the camera see those yams o� yours. I�m sure you�ve had your clothes off in front of cameras before.
Jerri: Well, yeah, but I�ve never actually posed for nude pictures before�for a sex magazine�for a human sex magazine.
Nick: Jerri, I won�t lie. The camera loves you. And it would love you more if you took off your shirt.
Jerri slowly removes her shirt and Nick takes pictures. She gets more comfortable after a few more shots.
Jerri: Should I remove my pants and panties, too?
Next scene: After the photo shoot.
Nick: That was great, Jerri. I�ll send you an advance copy of the magazine in a couple of days.
Next scene: Jerri sits at the kitchen table. She excitedly opens a brown paper package and pulls out the magazine; we can see that she�s on the cover.
Jerri (reading the cover): Freaky Chicks Magazine? Wow, I�ve really made it!
Sara Blank enters the kitchen.
Jerri (showing her stepmother the magazine): Check it out, Mumsy. That�s me, on the cover of Freaky Chicks Magazine. I�m practically a celebrity.
Sara: What, is this one of those fake magazine covers you buy at the carnival? (she flips through the magazine and sees Jerri�s photo spread; she drops the magazine and appears aghast)
Jerri (smiling as she picks up the magazine): Jealous?
Sara: You posed for a nude magazine?
Jerri: It�s art.
Sara: It�s filth! No stepdaughter of mine is going to get mixed up in the seedy underworld of pornography!
Jerri: It�s ok, the photographer was a complete gentleman. He was very professional. I was treated very well.
Sara: I don�t care about that! I don�t want my family and friends knowing that I�m semi-related to someone in the pornography industry! Give me that magazine so I can destroy it!
Jerri: No!
Jerri heads for the door with the magazine; Orlando is walking up to the front door at the same time and he sees her as she opens the door to leave.
Orlando: Oh, hey, Jerri. Wanna go throw things off the overpass?
Jerri: Maybe later. Right now, I�ve gotta figure out where I can hide this magazine from my stepmother.
Orlando: A magazine?
Jerri: Yeah, I posed �
Sara sneaks behind Jerri and grabs the magazine; she throws it into the kitchen garbage can and lights the magazine on fire.
Jerri: No!!
Jerri runs over to try to save the magazine, but it's too late. Orlando follows her into the kitchen.
Sara: There. Now nobody will ever have to be subjected to seeing that filth again, and nobody even has to know about it.
Jerri (crossing her arms): It wasn�t the only copy, Stepmother. Pretty soon every freaky chick fan in town is gonna be looking at my nude body.
Orlando: Nude body?
Jerri: Oh yeah, I had a little stint posing for an adult magazine. Didn�t I tell you?
Orlando: No. I thought you were supposed to be trying to do something to change the world.
Jerri: I thought I was. I was supposed to be helping a photographer.
Orlando: You�re going to write a paper saying that you changed the world by posing for a sex magazine?
Jerri (pensive): Hmm. I guess that doesn�t sound like a great paper, huh?
Sara (handing a page from the magazine to Jerri): Here, this is all that�s left from that sad chapter in our lives.
Jerri looks at the remains of her picture from the magazine.
Jerri (sadly): This is just the head. (hands it back to Sara)
Sara: Don�t give it back to me, I don�t want it. Besides, that would make you a reverse Indian giver. (chuckles)
Jerri (laughing): Hey, yeah, speaking of Indians, I�ve got on Indian underwear �
Sara (rolling her eyes): We know, we know...
Orlando (rolling his eyes): It�s creeping up the trail.
Jerri: What, I�ve said that before?
Orlando: You say it all the time, Jerri.
Jerri: Let�s go, Orlando. (they start to leave) Hey, I found some bones by the highway. Let�s go throw them off the overpass.
Next scene: Jerri and Orlando are walking down the sidewalk, laughing.
Jerri: That was funny when the leg bone went through that guy�s windshield. I�m still out of breath from running away!
Orlando: Yeah. (looks at his watch) I�ve gotta get home. See you tomorrow.
Jerri walks down the sidewalk and a guy passes her a flyer.
Guy: Would you like to join us, miss?
Jerri: Oh no, not another cult�sorry, but I tried that once. It didn�t work out�I was too much woman for �em.
Guy: No, we�re Big Brothers/Big Sisters. We�re a nonprofit organization that helps youngsters. Wouldn�t you like to help a needy young person?
Jerri (snaps her fingers by each ear): Why would I wanna do that?
Guy: You could be a positive influence on someone�really make a difference in the world.
Jerri: Well, I have been trying to make a difference in the world, but I don�t see how this relates to your organization.
Guy: This is just what you�ve been looking for. Go into this office (points) and they�ll match you with a girl who needs the guidance a woman like you can give.
Next scene: Jerri knocks on the door of the house of her new �little sister� and the girl, Martha (a sixteen year-old blonde), opens the door.
Martha: Yes?
Jerri: Martha?
Martha: Yes�oh, you must be Jerri.
Jerri (eyeing Martha up and down): Shazam! Get outta my dreams and into my bed!
Martha: Excuse me?
Jerri: So what�ya wanna do first? I�m up for anything�anything.
Martha: Do you have any ideas for what we could do? I�m all ears.
Jerri: Oh, don�t be so hard on yourself, your ears aren�t that big.
Martha: No, I mean, tell me your ideas. Fill me in.
Jerri: Mmm�I�d love to.
Next scene: Martha and Jerri are sitting on Martha�s couch, talking.
Martha: And so, I grew up without a mother or any positive female influence in my life.
Jerri (halfheartedly): That�s a shame. (sexy background music plays) A beautiful flower like you needs to blossom�right now you�re an untouched bud, but I can turn you into a dewy, pink tulip�tulip�s a funny word, isn�t it? Like two�lips�
Martha: So aren�t you supposed to teach me something or something? Like, help make a difference in my life?
Jerri (looking at her watch): Oh, not right now, I have to go write a paper on making a difference�which reminds me, I have to go write a paper on making a difference.
Martha (disappointed): Oh, ok.
Jerri (moving closer to Martha on the couch): Martha, I wanna 'pologize for leaving so soon. I really don�t want to go. I swear, I�d rather stay here and help you.
Martha: Well, why don�t you stay and I�ll help you with your paper?
Next scene: Martha is at her computer in her bedroom, typing up Jerri�s paper, while Jerri is standing behind Martha, braiding her hair.
Jerri (watching Martha type): Wow (swallowing), you sure are good with your hands...your fingers are so quick and nimble...so flexible...
Martha: There. Done.
Jerri: Already?
Martha: Yup. Now you can help me.
Jerri: How?
Martha: Don�t they teach Big Sister classes or something?
Jerri: No, they just told me to teach you what I know�you know, like a big sister would do.
Martha: So tell me everything you know, Jerri. I bet you�ve had a really interesting life.
Jerri: You don�t know the half of it. But we�ll get to that later. First, you need a makeover.
Martha: A makeover?
Jerri: Like sisters do. Let me give you a haircut first.
Martha: I don�t know, Jerri.
Jerri: Come on�don�t you trust your big sister? (bats her eyelashes)
(montage of Jerri giving Martha a makeover to the music of Rupaul�s �Supermodel�)
Next scene: Jerri is covering Martha�s eyes with her hands while leading her over to a mirror.
Jerri: Ready? (removes her hands) Alakazam!
Martha looks in the mirror and gasps. The camera pulls back to reveal Martha�s new look � she has Jerri�s haircut and the same makeup on her face.
Jerri (smiling): You like? I could take off my clothes and give them to you. You know, to complete your makeover.
Martha is speechless.
Jerri: I suppose the key phrase there was, �take off my clothes.�
Martha: I look just like you!
Jerri (flirty smile): And how would you like to thank me?
Martha: I didn�t want to look like you, Jerri, I just wanted to learn from you and see what it�s like having a big sister!
Jerri: Alright, calm down. I�ll teach you what I know. Lesson one: Every pimp carries a razor.
Martha: Why would I need to know that?
Jerri: Well, let�s face it, with your body, you�re gonna make a chunk o� change out there on the street. (eyeing Martha�s body) Damn, that�s gotta be tight!
Martha: I�m not gonna be a prostitute, Jerri. Just forget the lessons.
Jerri: Hey, how can I teach you everything I know if I can�t teach you everything I know? Let me just tell you the next important lesson in life: Cowboys love ridin� bareback.
Martha: I don�t even wanna know what that means.
Jerri (getting frustrated): It means, you remember lesson two and like I said, you�ll make a chunk o� change.
Martha: I changed my mind, Jerri�I don�t want a big sister.
Jerri: Well, if I can�t be your sister, maybe I can be your�special friend. (she strokes Martha�s hair)
Martha: Please, just take your paper and leave.
Jerri: Now, Martha, what kind of big sister would I be if I let you write a paper for me and I took the credit?
Jerri grabs the paper and leaves. Martha looks at herself in the mirror and starts to cry. Jerri starts walking down the sidewalk.
Jerri (to camera): Well, I learned an important lesson this week: One person can�t make a difference. So why try? I also learned that I don�t have to write this paper about making a difference, since Martha wrote it for me. That�s the third lesson in life I never got to teach her � never do the work if someone else will do it for you.
Jerri walks down the sidewalk, smiling and whistling.
Ending sequence: The camera moves down a silent, darkened, empty hallway. We hear Mr. Jellineck�s voice saying, �help� and �is anyone here?� It�s clear now that the camera is moving through The Museum of Flatpoint Art, which is closed for the long weekend. Eventually, the camera moves over to Mr. Jellineck; he�s still handcuffed to his statue and calling out for help. At the very end, he screams,�JERRI!� and his scream echoes throughout the museum.
or here for the main Strangers with
Candy fan fiction scripts page.