"Time To Say Goodbye"
by Debbie Nockels
COPYRIGHT: January 2001
RATING: G
CATEGORY: Vignette
SPOILERS: "Into The Woods"
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from BTVS or ANGEL. They're owned by Joss Whedon (who ought to treat them nicer), MutantEnemy, the WB, Fox, etc.
SUMMARY: Like so many others I didn't like the ending of this episode - so here's my version, short but sweet(er), in an angsty way.
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"You shut down, Buffy," said Xander, with emphasis. "And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy - when he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime."
His voice echoed off the warehouse walls and Buffy felt the impact of each word. He was right, and she knew it. Everything he'd been saying about Riley was true. Riley would do anything for her, and he was the kind of guy most girls dreamed about meeting. Xander was still speaking, and she wrenched her attention back to him.
"He's never held back with you. He's risked everything - and you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums?" His voice held incredulity - and judgment. "If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there . . . let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy - I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need - "
Buffy felt her eyes filling with tears.
" - then think about what you're about to lose." Xander took half a step back, searching her face. Apparently whatever he saw there pleased him, because his severe expression softened.
Wetting her lips, Buffy said, "Xander - "
His look approved. "Run," he said out loud, but his face added 'Run and stop Riley from leaving. Apologize to him and tell him you want him to stay, that you love him.'
But Buffy stayed put. Slowly she shook her head. "I can't."
Disbelief crossed Xander's face, followed by disappointment. He took another step away from her. "You mean you won't. Won't swallow your pride and go after him. I never would have thought that of you, Buff."
"No," Buffy said softly. "I mean I can't love him, not like that."
"How can you not love him?" Xander demanded. He raised his hands in a helpless gesture. "The guy is everything a woman could want! And he loves you with all his heart."
More tears welled, but Buffy blinked them away. "Yes, I think maybe he does, in spite of his idiotic behavior with the vamps. But you said it, Xander: what he wants from me just isn't there. And it never will be."
"But it's there for Angel, isn't it?" said Xander, his voice harsh. Looking up at the ceiling, he ran a hand through his hair, then looked back down at her, visibly seething with frustration. "Buffy, are you going to waste the rest of your life yearning over someone you can never be with?"
Buffy looked him calmly in the eye. "I think that's my business, not yours. And, Xander, before you get too high on your horse, you might think about applying what you said about me to yourself. You and Anya."
"What?" Xander sighed heavily. "Buff, this so isn't about Ahn and me!"
"It is now," she returned. "Because I won't talk to you about Angel. You've never understood about us and you never will, so why waste my breath? Anya loves you, Xander, with her whole heart. Maybe it's time to think about whether or not you can give her what she wants. And if you can't, if she is only a convenience for you, maybe you should 'break her heart, and make it a clean break'." She quoted his words back at him, and saw them sink in.
Quietly, she turned and walked away, leaving Xander staring after her.
THE END
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