Holtz had used that time to collect himself. "Many of them," he replied. "Firstly, how did you become a vampire? I know Darla is your sire, but what were the circumstances?"

      Angel blinked, surprised. "Why do you want to know that?"

      "Indulge me," was all Holtz said. "I'm curious."

      Shrugging, Angel said, "I was in the tavern one night, as usual, and I noticed a beautiful woman sitting at one of the tables. She was watching me. A while later, when my friend and I were thrown out of the tavern, to my surprise I found her waiting for me. She said she could show me things I'd never seen or even heard of." He smiled wryly. "I have to admit, she kept her word."

      "Did she promise you eternal life?" asked Holtz.

      "Ah." Angel understood now. "You want to know if I chose to become a vampire. No, Darla said nothing about eternal life, or demons, or dying; vampires seldom do when they decide to Turn someone. I was young, I was drunk as usual, and I was stupid, but I had no idea what I was agreeing to."

      He shrugged. "Not that a refusal would have stopped Darla if she'd made up her mind."

      Holtz couldn't argue with that. He asked, "What did Giles so carefully leave out of his tale about you?"

      A corner of Angel's mouth quirked upward in a faint, brief smile; he'd known that Holtz wouldn't simply accept Giles' account without question. "What Giles didn't tell you is that the curse the Kalderash put on me had a clause in it, a loophole that no one else knew about, including me, until a few years ago: If I experience perfect happiness, even for one moment, then I lose my soul again."

      Holtz regarded him with narrowed eyes. "And what happens then - you die?"

      "Angelus returns," Angel said grimly.

      Holtz stared. "You cannot be serious. Angelus must have done some great wrong to the gypsies for them to curse him like that - "

      "I killed the favorite daughter of their tribe," supplied Angel.

      With a slight nod, Holtz continued, " - so why would they allow even the tiniest chance for him to escape his retribution? They are a strange and lawless people, everyone knows that, but when it comes to vengeance they are implacable."

      Angel shook his head. "I've asked myself that same question many times. Apparently all they cared about was that I should suffer eternal torment for all the evil I'd done, and if I stopped suffering, even for one moment - " He shrugged, shaking his head again. "I've never been able to figure out their logic."

      "Because there is no logic to it!" Holtz declared with a disbelieving frown. "It makes no sense at all. What were they thinking?"

      "They weren't thinking. That tends to happen when emotions are running high," Angel said.

      Holtz gave him a sharp glance, but Angel's gaze was calm, without the slightest hint of any hidden meaning to his words. "You said you only recently found out about this part of the curse?"

      Angel nodded. "Four years ago."

      "How?" Holtz asked. "How did you discover it?"

      Pain flashed over the vampire's face. "Unfortunately, by triggering it." He raised his eyes to Holtz. "I knew perfect happiness one night, with Buffy. We were . . . together."

      Holtz understood his meaning at once, although he could hardly believe it. The Slayer had fornicated with a vampire! How could she??? He'd seen them kissing, and that was bad enough, but this - ! Revulsion swept through him.

      Some part of his feelings must have shown on his face, for Angel said, sternly, "Don't judge her by your standards, Holtz. Over two hundred years have passed and things are different today - very different. An unmarried woman having sexual encounters is nothing unusual. And we love each other."

      Again Holtz was stunned. Love? The Slayer was in love with a vampire? A vampire loved a Slayer? Then he thought over the implications of what he'd just learned. Being with the Slayer had filled Angel with a happiness so complete it had broken a curse that had lasted for a century. He recalled the ceremony he'd witnessed earlier that evening, the tender concern that Angel had exhibited throughout and the way Buffy had stayed close beside him as long as possible. He remembered her protectiveness of him afterward, deliberately using her own body as a shield against his crossbow. He also thought about what the ritual had so astonishingly revealed - that Angel had voluntarily given up his humanity in order to prolong the Slayer's life - and about the way they had fought together while patrolling, each keeping an eye on the other's back.

      Feeling his mind begin to whirl, he pushed all that to one side and decided not to correct Angel's misunderstanding. His long-held certainties had taken quite a beating that night. He needed to do some serious thinking, but now was not the time.

      "I will not argue morality with a vampire, not even you," he responded, stiffly. "I will only remark that since the Slayer is the key to releasing Angelus, it is irresponsible of you to deliberately expose yourself to temptation by remaining here, where she is . . . if you really care about keeping Angelus caged, that is."

      Angel's eyes flashed. "Considering that if he were set free my first action would be to go after Buffy, I care very much! But he won't return that way again. We know about the clause now, and I'm on my guard."

      Holtz asked abruptly, "How did you regain your soul after you lost it?"

      "Someone, a friend of Giles', located a copy of the original curse." Angel's face grew bleak as he thought of Jenny Calendar. "Willow performed the ceremony and called my soul back, again."

      "I see." Holtz studied Angel for a moment. "Giles and the Slayer are very careful to make a distinction between Angelus and you, but I've noticed that you don't. In fact, you refer to his deeds as if they were your own. Why? Are you in fact him?" He raised the crossbow slightly, eyes intent.

      Angel didn't even notice. He hunched over, his hands loosely clasped between his knees, his gaze fixed blankly on the floor. "No, I'm not Angelus," he said slowly, "but it's not that simple. We're . . . connected. I share his memories. All of them. Logically, I know that it was not by my will that these hands killed thousands of innocent people, that it was Angelus who did it, without my consent . . . but I can see their faces in my mind and hear their screams, and I can feel the hellish delight he took in every second of their torment - "

      He stopped, suddenly aware of what he was saying - and to whom it was being said. "God. I - I'm sorry," he stammered, "I didn't mean to -"

      "Continue," Holtz interrupted harshly, his face drawn.

      Angel got up, and began pacing. "A friend of Xander's got Turned a few years ago. Giles reminded Xander that when he looked at him he wasn't seeing his friend but the thing that had killed him, and that's true. But, again, it isn't that simple. When the demon takes possession of a body, all the original memories are retained, as well as the major personality traits, although those often fade with time. These things all influence the demon's behavior, but in a twisted way. Any softer emotions, such as love or even friendship, are perceived as contemptible weaknesses. They eat at the demon like acid - which is why newly fledged vamps so often kill the families and friends of the dead person. The demon also uses the darker feelings, but these are a source of power and strength."

      He paused. "A portion of the original consciousness also remains - "

      Holtz leaped to his feet. "Then you did know what was going on with Angelus! You were part of him. You let him do those things!"

      "No." Angel stopped and faced him. "I didn't �let' Angelus do anything, any more than that crossbow �lets' you fire it."

      Holtz involuntarily glanced down at his weapon as Angel continued. "Yes, a portion of the original awareness remains, but it's no more than a fragment and it's as helpless as a newborn infant. Less so, because a baby can influence others to act by crying. In a vampire the demon is completely in charge, and even if that original fragment had any strength or power of its own, which it doesn't, the soul is gone. There's no conscience anymore, no remorse, or guilt. When the Kalderash restored my soul, all those things suddenly came rushing back with it. I almost went insane."

      "Why, if it wasn't you who was responsible for the evil?" demanded Holtz.

      "Because Angelus's memories are as much a part of me as my own," Angel said wearily. "And someone has to care - he sure as hell doesn't."

      Holtz was silent for a minute, but he wasn't finished yet. "A moment ago you said Angelus wouldn't return again �that way,' which implies that there are other ways to set him free."

      "You're quick on the nuances," Angel replied after a second, "You're right, unfortunately there are. A couple of years ago someone slipped some kind of drug in my drink without my realizing it. The drug induced an artificial happiness that allowed Angelus to escape for a short time. Luckily my friends were able to capture me - I mean him - before he could harm anyone, and to keep him under restraint for a few hours until the drug wore off."

      Holtz regarded him coolly. "Keeping Angelus confined seems to me to rely far too much on luck. What happens when someone gives you another drug, or casts a happiness spell on you, and he is set free again, and this time there are no friends at hand to overpower him, or no witch readily available to do the resouling spell? This gypsy curse has too many escape possibilities in it for my peace of mind."

      "I couldn't agree more," Angel told him grimly. "That's why I have someone working to find a way to attach my soul permanently."

      Holtz snorted. "You should have done that long before now!" With a decisive gesture he disarmed the crossbow. "Very well; I have made my decision. I promised Sahjhan I would show no mercy to Angelus, and I won't - for the time being. He will remain locked helplessly inside you, unable to act, which I believe to be a far greater punishment than death would be. But I will be keeping an eye on you, Angel, and I will not hesitate to kill Angelus should he escape again."

      "I know," Angel told him, "and thank you. My friends have all made that same promise to me, but I know they would first try to bring me back - and that could be fatal, if not for them, for others."

      Holtz eyed him for a moment in thoughtful silence. Then, with a curt nod, he swung around. Angel opened the door for him, watching as the vampire hunter set off in the direction of Sunnydale. When even his vampiric eyes could detect him no more, he closed the door and stood there a moment, then went into the kitchen and began opening cabinets. At last he found what he was searching for.

      "I knew this was here somewhere." Drawing out a bottle of thirty-year-old whiskey, he blew the dust off, poured about an inch of the dark amber liquid into a glass, and downed it in one gulp.

      "I really needed that." Angel replaced the bottle in a cupboard, rinsed the glass and put it on the counter to dry, and went to bed.

       The next morning Buffy breezed into Giles' apartment with only the most perfunctory of knocks. "So what else did you find out?"

       Giles looked blearily up from his cup of coffee. "Good morning to you too. Must you be so disgustingly chipper?"

       "Ooh, someone's Mr. Grumpy this morning." She plopped herself down on the opposite side of the table, eyeing him shrewdly. "You don't look hung over. What happened, did you get out on the wrong side of the bed?"

       "When one doesn't get into the bed until after three a.m., I'm not sure there's a correct side to get out on," Giles observed tartly.

       "There isn't," Buffy agreed. "If you were up that late you must have found out more about this St. John dude."

       "St. John?" The unexpected voice spun Buffy around. Holtz emerged from the hallway.

       "She means Sahjhan," explained Giles, accustomed to Buffy's difficulty with names. "And yes, we discovered a few interesting facts. For one - "

       Buffy interrupted, staring at Holtz. "You're still here. I thought you'd be hot on Darla's trail. Isn't she at the top of your hit list now that Angel's off of it?" Her gaze sharpened. "Angel is off of it, right?"

       "Good morning, Slayer." Holtz gave her a slight, courteous nod. "I'm still here because Giles very kindly offered me a place to sleep after we finished our research last night. However, you are right, I will be leaving shortly to search for Darla. And to answer your question, for the time being I am willing to leave Angel alone." He went into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee, adding sugar and cream.

       Until that last sentence Buffy had been feeling rather ashamed of her brusqueness - okay, rudeness - toward him, but now she snapped to attention. "For the time being?" Instinctively she stood up, ready for confrontation.

       Returning, Holtz met her gaze levelly. "Yes. For the time being. As I told Angel last night - we had a long talk after he escorted you home - I am not happy with the numerous possibilities that his curse allows for Angelus to escape by, and so I will be keeping in touch with his situation."

       "Numerous possibilities?" Buffy raised her eyebrows. "There's only one way I know of for Angel to lose his soul, and that isn't going to happen again."

       Holtz looked over at Giles, clearly deferring to him.

       "Giles?" Buffy demanded, turning her gaze in that direction.

       Her Watcher cleared his throat. "Er, Holtz and I also had a chat last night. I'm afraid we've all been terribly optimistic - indeed, careless - regarding Angel's curse. It appears that the loophole in the curse has its own loophole, which Angel discovered two years ago when he was given a drug and Angelus returned."

       "What?" Some of the color left Buffy's face. "A drug did it? But - how? I thought it took true happiness for Angel to lose his soul; that's what Miss Calendar told us!"

       "As I said, there's another loophole," Giles replied. "Angel was actually very fortunate. The drug was a powerful tranquilizer. It induced a, a euphoria that enabled Angelus to reappear, but because it was artificial - not true happiness - Angel did not lose his soul. Wesley and Cordelia managed to capture Angelus and kept him under restraint until the effects wore off."

       "I see." Buffy was silent for a moment. "But . . . if Wes and Cordy hadn't been there, or if they hadn't been able to capture Angelus - if he had escaped - all he had to do was find more of the drug and he could have stayed in control indefinitely."

       "That drug or any number of similar ones that can be readily bought on the streets," admitted Giles with a sigh. "I'm afraid you're right. But to look on the bright side, Angel is now aware of this risk, so it is unlikely to happen again. Also, Wesley has already begun looking for a way to anchor Angel's soul permanently."

       Buffy sat down rather abruptly, still pale with shock. "Yes, Angel told me he was - but I thought it was just for our sake. I didn't know how important it really is." Suddenly she slammed her fist down on the table. "God, I'd like to give those stupid gypsies a piece of my mind!"

       Holtz had been standing quietly by, sipping his coffee. Now he said, "Then why don't you?" Giles and Buffy stared at him as if he'd suddenly begun speaking in tongues. "Get in touch with the elders," he clarified, "and request a hearing. Maybe after all this time they'll be more amenable to logic, and since they set the curse they should be able to alter it. After all, they of all people surely don't want Angelus loose again."

       Buffy and Giles exchanged thoughtful looks. "Jenny said those magics had been lost to her people," Giles said slowly.

       "But she found the original curse," Buffy reminded him. "Maybe they're not as lost as she thought."

       "Perhaps since then she has rediscovered other magics too," Holtz suggested, "ones that could be helpful. Can you contact her?" A heavy silence followed. He looked from one to the other, but they both avoided his eyes. "What's wrong?"

       "Jenny's dead," Giles finally said. "Angelus killed her to stop her from restoring Angel's soul. He didn't know she'd made a copy of the curse, which Willow later found and used." Even after five years it hurt to remember his loss . . . to think of what might have been. The ache was dull now, not the raw, tearing pain it had once been - but it was still there. He met Holtz's stunned eyes. "So, you see, I have some understanding of your own feelings."

       Holtz had lost count by now of how many times he'd found himself speechless since arriving in Sunnydale. He stared at the Watcher. Angelus had killed a woman who was obviously dear to Giles, yet not only had he not killed Angel in retaliation, he worked alongside him in complete camaraderie. "Why didn't you destroy him?" he blurted out.

       A touch of wry humor showed in the other man's face. "As you should already be aware, Angelus is not that easy to kill. I did make an attempt, but he escaped - something I am now grateful for, although it took me a long time to reach that point. Angel has proven his worth many times over."

       "How - " Holtz stopped, turning the cup around in his hands, staring at the dark liquid inside.

       Giles tilted his head. "Yes?"

       "How can you bear it?" The words came in a rush, his voice low. "To look at his face . . . be near him . . . to work with him?"

       Buffy drew in a breath, but Giles sent her a faint, reassuring smile that kept her from responding. "I couldn't at first," he told Holtz. "I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. But it became glaringly obvious that Angel suffered almost as much as I did from the memory of what had happened, and after he helped us unmask a rogue Slayer, saved Buffy's sanity and probably her life, and then worked with us to prevent a demon ascension - "

       He shrugged. "As I said, it took time but finally I understood that he's just as much Angelus's victim as Jenny was."

       For a long moment Holtz gazed at Giles. Buffy wisely refrained from saying or doing anything that might break the mood. Finally the vampire hunter looked away. "I have not your charity, Giles. I find it impossible to be where he is. That is why I am leaving now, to begin searching for Darla." Setting his cup in the sink, he moved over to the couch and picked up a duffel bag, pulling the long strap over his head so it crossed his body.

       Giles made no attempt to urge him to stay. Instead he followed Holtz to the front door and asked, "What about Sahjhan? He enabled you to come forward to this time in order to kill Angel. I don't imagine he'll be pleased that you're letting him live . . . er, exist."

       Holtz shrugged, his hand already on the doorknob. "He has no substance; what can he do besides yell at me? Besides, I never told him I would kill Angel. I only promised to show Angelus no mercy, which is exactly what I'm doing."

       Giles smiled. "Very true. Well, good luck with him." The two men shook hands.

       "I thank you for your hospitality, Giles. I hope our paths will cross again someday."

       "So do I," Giles returned sincerely, adding, "I hope you find Darla. No one here will shed any tears over her death, I promise you."

       The sunlight streamed in as Holtz opened the door. He glanced over his shoulder. "Not even Angel? I wonder how many people have died because he let her go free?"

       Buffy's eyes narrowed. She stood up and moved toward him. "Angel didn't tell you about Darla, did he? The whole story, I mean."

       "Story?" With one foot already over the threshold, Holtz stopped short. "Darla has a story?" He drew his foot back into the house. "Don't tell me she also has a soul." His voice was almost pleading.

       "No," Buffy said, "but she was dead for several years - really dead, not just Undead - and then last year an evil law firm in L.A. brought her back to life. Not only was she alive, she was human, and dying from the same disease that was killing her centuries ago. Shortly after they brought her back they turned her into a vampire again."

       Holtz didn't move, only stared at her without blinking for a long moment. "Someone resurrected Darla?" he finally asked. "How is that possible? Are you sure she was truly dead?"

       "Oh yes," Giles assured him. "Angel staked her; I saw it. We all did."

       "Angel!" Holtz gawked at him. "But - he said last night that he couldn't kill her!"

       "This time," reminded Giles. "But five years ago she was trying her best to kill Buffy, shooting at her with a pair of handguns. Angel didn't hesitate for even a moment."

       Holtz's gaze went back to Buffy. After a moment he murmured, as if to himself, "He gave up his humanity and killed his sire for you; he must truly love you."

       "And I love him."

       Holtz's face instantly closed down, wiped clean of expression. He turned away. "Well. That's very . . . interesting. Giles, if I learn anything about Sahjhan's motives regarding Angel, I'll be sure to let you know."

       "Thank you," Giles said. He and Buffy watched the sturdy, somehow lonely, figure walk to the sidewalk and turn out of sight.

       "We should have asked him to take out Drusilla too," Buffy mused. "You know, while he's there - wherever �there' turns out to be. She and Darla are bound to be together."

       Giles chuckled. "I don't think Holtz needs urging to kill any vampires he runs across."

       "No," Buffy agreed. "So what were these interesting facts you found out about Sahjhan?"

       "Nothing much about him in particular, I'm afraid, other than that he is a confirmed dimension-traveler; but we did learn why the Granok demons are non-corporeal." Giles closed the door. "It seems they were exceptionally hot-tempered, violent beings who brawled wherever they went. Eventually the Powers got tired of the chaos they created in their wake and so caused them to become insubstantial except in their home dimension."

       "Huh." Buffy pondered for a moment. "That doesn't explain why Sahjhan wants Angel killed, though."

       "No, I'm fairly sure that must be a personal matter." Giles adjusted his glasses. "I did run across a reference to him trying to locate something called the Nyazian Scroll."

       "So what's in this scroll?" Buffy asked. She sat on the couch arm, one leg dangling. "Something the Nazis created?"

       "It's Nyazian, not Nazian," corrected Giles with a smile. "No, the scroll is much older than the Nazis. It's ancient, and it contains the usual: prophecies."

       "Of course" muttered Buffy, casting her eyes upward. "So . . . maybe there's a prophecy in it that says Angel will kill this Sahjhan, or something."

       Giles looked at her. "You know, that's a very good thought, Buffy. I'll call the Council and see if they know anything about the Scroll."

       "Why not try closer to home first?"

       "I'm sorry?" Giles blinked at her.

       "Wesley," Buffy reminded him. "According to Angel he has all sorts of reference books, and didn't Angel say something last night about a prophecy Wes had discovered? He thought it might be about Holtz."

       "The Tro-clon, who is bringing darkness to mankind," Giles remembered. He straightened up. "Yes, you're right. I'll give him a call straight away."

       Buffy nodded, and stood up. "Giles - " She paused, then said, " - thank you for the things you said about Angel. I know it's still hard for you to be around him. It hurts, remembering what happened to Jenny."

       "Yes, it still hurts," Giles said steadily, "but you're wrong that it isn't easy to be near Angel. As I told Holtz, that was true for a long time but not anymore. I know now in my heart that it was Angelus who killed Jenny, and Angel had nothing to do with it. I also know he grieves over her death and would change what happened if it were possible."

       "Yes." Her eyes wet, Buffy gave him a hug. "Thank you."

       Giles returned the embrace. "No thanks are necessary. It's simply the truth."

       "I know, but thank you anyway." Buffy stepped back. "If you need me I'll be at the Magic Box, training. See you later." She left and Giles headed for the telephone.

END OF PART 20 - To Be Continued