This is the coming out letter I wrote for my coworkers. I've edited out all the names except my own, but otherwise it's exactly as they received it.

May 15, 2001

To my coworkers at [place I worked at],

I have some personal information that I need to share with you guys. This will probably seem pretty shocking because I�ve kept it a carefully-concealed secret until recently.

I have a condition that I�ve struggled with all of my life. I always thought it would go away with time, but it didn�t. My problem is my gender identity - my internal sense of who I am - does not match the body I was born with. I�ve always felt that I should have been a girl instead of a boy. I used to think there was nothing I could do about this, so I just tried to hide my feelings and pretend everything was ok.

That didn�t work though (it never does) and several years ago I started seeing a therapist to work through my feelings and figure out what to do. I was seeing her when I lived in Fort Collins, quit for a while when we moved to Denver, then restarted in December. It�s become clear over time that what I need to do is make my body match my mind and become a woman (fixing it the other way, by making your mind match your body, simply doesn�t work). My therapist has lots of experience with gender identity issues so I feel I�m in good hands.

One thing I want to emphasize is that my decision to do this isn�t something sudden or rash. It�s not like I read about this a month ago and decided it would be fun! The current theory is that gender identity is fixed before we�re born. Social environment and family background have nothing to do with it. One person out of every two or three thousand simply turns out like me, a transsexual. Apparently, prenatal hormone flows occasionally don�t go quite right and the brain develops the wrong way. It can go either way � male to female (like me) or female to male.

The treatment program, which I�ve already started, involves electrolysis to remove facial hair, taking female hormones, and eventually having what�s called gender reassignment surgery. Before having the surgery I have to live as a woman full time for at least a year. Then, with letters of recommendation from two therapists, I can have the surgery. I�m now at the point where I�m ready to start living full time as a woman, which is why I�m telling you.

Since starting this, I feel much happier and more like myself than I ever really have before. I�ve been doing the electrolysis every week since January 2000 and am nearly done with that now. I started on hormones about 4 months ago and I feel really good about it. I recently told [my manager] and [her manager] about this, and my intentions to start living full time as a woman. They gave me their full support and, with [HR person]�s help, have worked with me to prepare a detailed transition plan. So starting on Monday, June 4, I�ll be working here as Debby (the name I always wanted for myself) instead of [old male name]. I also wanted to mention that I don�t look anything like the people you see on TV talk shows and so forth. I�ve been out in public as Debby quite a bit already and I�ve had no problems at all. If you�re curious to see what I look like as Debby before June 4, I have some photos I can show you.

I know this is probably a huge shock. It took me 40 years to come to terms with it! But everything is ok and it�s all going to be fine. I�ve already told my parents and friends about this. People have generally been pretty shocked at first, but seem to be accepting my transition now. I hope you will also.

If you�re interested in learning some more about my condition I�ve published some additional information on my workstation. You can access it as [link to intranet web site I published]

I recommend the following web sites for additional information:

• The Looking Glass Society - A transgender support organization in the UK. They have some good overview articles that explain what�s known about transsexualism, what the transition process is like, and how it gets handled in the workplace.

• Lynn Conway's web site
• Becky Allison's web site

I also have some books I can recommend. Let me know if you�re interested in reading them.

I know you�re going to need time to process all of this and come to terms with it. But I�d like to encourage you all to ask me any and all questions you may have. I�ll try to answer them all. If you don�t feel comfortable talking to me you could ask [my manager] or [her manager] and they could get an answer for you.

Sincerely,
[old male name] (soon to be Debby)

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