So many years have passed, and my mind goes back to yesterday... We were so young and in love. I was sixteen and he was twenty-three. We were so happy and planning our life together, when suddenly I found out that he wasn't free for us to marry as he had told me. He didn't want to tell me, as he knew it would break my heart.
He was getting free, but it would take time for it to become final. We parted ways, although he wanted me to wait for him until his divorce was final, and we would be free to wed. My heart was so heavy and broken. I met an old friend and we began dating. We eventually married, but I still had Roy in my heart. I received a letter from Roy shortly after I became pregnant with my first child. He told me he was now free to marry as we had planned. I told him with a heavy heart that I had married and was expecting my first child. He wrote me back, saying that had we married, he would not have allowed me to get pregnant, as he never wanted to ever see me suffer. After my son was born, about a year and a half later, there was a knock at my door. There stood Roy. He scooped me up and swirled me around the room, with so much love in his eyes.
He kissed me and told me that he had always loved me and always would.
He wanted me to divorce my husband, so we could go on with our plans to marry. I told him, no, I could not go against the vows I had made. You see, I had a new life now with a small child, and I took my vows very seriously. We parted, not knowing if our paths would ever cross again. I never knew what became of Roy. I had three more children and was with my husband of thirty-three years till the Lord took him home on August 16, 1984.
Six years had passed, I never forgot about my Roy. I began calling his family to see if I could locate him, or just to see how he was. His sister in Florida told me he was living in South Carolina and gave me his number, telling me he would love to hear from me. I once again was that sixteen year old girl, so much in love, and the memories came flooding back. With alot of anticipation, I dialed the number. When he answered, I said, " Well, it's been 39 years, and I live in Knoxville. Do you remember me?'
He paused a moment and I said, " It's Ellen". He answered, " Ellen Ellis, the only one I ever loved".
I began writing to him and sending him baked goods and cards and gifts. I found out that he was very sick. He had been in the Air Force for many years and had suffrered head trauma, along with other health problems. He had a small apartment and lived there all by himself, with no family around to take care of him or help him. He was so lonely. My heart ached for him at the thought of him being so alone. It was then that I decided to go get him and bring him home to Tennessee and take care of him as I wanted to do all those years before.
With the aid of my two sons, we rented a truck and headed to South Carolina to get my love. We brought him back to my home and he was so happy that we had found our way back to each other. We married on July 10, 1993 in our church with my best friend, Lou, as my matron of honor. I had to choose Lou to stand with me, you see, as she was there all those years ago, when Roy came back to claim me as his own. Roy had numerous seizures, along with other health problems. We were constantly going to the VA Hosptital in Johnson City. He had one terrible seizure, which resulted in a stroke. He was paralized on the left side, and could not eat or drink anything. He had to have a feeding tube placed in his abdomen to nourish him. Throughout his stroke and all, he still knew me...
I was not without my share of health problems. I was a beautician for many years, thus resulting in bad arthritis. In fact, I had to start drawing my social security due to it. It came to the point, where I had to admit I could no longer take good care of Roy. I had no choice but to put him in a nursing home about 20 miles from our home. There he would receive the medical care he deserved. I would go and visit with him nearly everyday. I would just sit there with him, just to be close to him. He always knew I was there, and I feel he was comforted by that. We always loved our time together and I would stroke his hair and apply lotion to him, just to let him feel the love in my hands. I know it meant so much to him for me to do these small, trivial things, but it gave me such joy to do them.
On the day before he died, I was up there for my usual visit, he looked up at me and said, " I love you...". He had been so sick up until this time, he didn't talk that much. So, it did my heart good to hear those words whispered. I had started to leave, but he asked me to stay a little longer. So I just took his hand and stayed till he went off to sleep. I received the call about 2:30 the next morning to come to the nursing home. My Roy had passed away. This was the final chapter in our lives together. We had come full circle now.
I miss him so much still today. Our love and my memories sustain me. The joy of our time on earth together, since the days when we were so young and in love. Our love carried on, and not even in death did it die. I have my memories now, and I reflect back to when we first began up through our last days together.
Roy, I will always love you and wait for me until I meet up with you again in the the other land in Heaven. When my time comes around, we'll be together once more, my love.
Written by Ellen Goff Adams in Memory to her husband, Roy Adams
With undying love
February 04, 2000
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