I cannot recollect alot of things about my childhood. I do remember when I was about 4 or 5, my Dad had given me a cloth doll and brought me some Oreos, too. I don't know why I can remember that doll, but I know that I cherished it. I was always so close to my Dad. They say girls tend to lean toward their Dads, while it is just the opposite with boys.
There are four of us kids. Two boys and two girls. My oldest brother always had a love for cars, and became an upholsterer. My younger brother also had a love for cars and a natural ability to repair them. My Dad was a very well known and respected auto mechanic. His name was known to all who were involved in the Automotive field. He was wonderful to his customers. I remember he got a repair call way after midnight one night. He hung up the phone and shot out the door. If they needed their car the next day, he worked overtime to accomodate them.
And he had the ledger. People would promise to pay him on time, or when they got paid, etc. He kept a running total on all those who owed him. I asked him one day, "Dad, why don't we send bills to these people so they'll come in and pay on their bill"? He would tell me that dunning people was a waste of time. He always said,"Those that will pay you will, and those that won't , won't". He must have known what he was talking about, because after his death, we called all those people in the ledger, you remember, the ones that he trusted? Not one would pay their bill, let alone admit they owed it. That ledger totalled over $70,000.00.....
My Dad worked hard his short 56 years. He developed Diabetes several years before, but would not adhere to the special diet that was required. He had no choice when he suffered a severe stroke, brought on by an elevated blood sugar of over 400. My Dad suffered every complication associated with Diabetes. He lost his eyesight, had his foot amputated, had to be on dialysis bi-weekly until he got worse, then it was several times a week. He never complained.
And remember I told you what an excellent mechanic he was? He still went to the garage every day and answered the phone and conducted business as always. My younger brother was having a problem with this one car, and couldn't figure out what the problem was. My Dad said," Debbie, lead me outside to that car a minute". So, here I went, taking him by the arm and led him outside to the car. He told my brother to start it so he could hear it run, then he told him to turn it off, and proceeded to tell him what was wrong.
I also remember he and I would go out to a car to add freon to the air conditioner! He would hook up the hoses and empty the cans, all the time telling me to watch the gauges so I could tell him when they were full. To this day, I don't know how we kept from getting blown up!! Remarkable...
I guess my best memory is the Sunday crosswords. We would always get the big crossword out, and he with his coffee, would ask me to read him the clue, and if together we couldn't solve one, he'd say,"Well, we'll have to get the crossword dictionary out and cheat on this one a little bit'". There are so many, many things I could go on and on about, but my space here is alot more limited than my heart. And that is where I keep my wonderful memories of him. The way he smiled, the way he would look at me when I had upset him. I always had this "little girl" voice I would use on him. It worked most of the time. But between me and you, he knew...
On August 16, 1984, my Mom walked into the bedroom and discovered he had died in his sleep. That was the most unforgettable moment in my life. When they leave you like that, with no chance to say good-bye. Or the fact that there is still so much you need to talk to them about. Or the questions, all those unanswered, never to get the chance to ask him questions...
It was a terrible loss to me. he was so dear to me and I depended on him far more than I ever realized. I would give anything to have been able to pick up the phone and call him when I experienced all the problems in my life. He always knew just the right thing to say and he ALWAYS had the answer.
I ran across this poem and it is so fitting to my story. Cherish your parents each and everyday. Ask their advice and heed it. There may come a day when you ache to do it like I do.....
To my Dad..Vernon H. Goff
All My Love..Your daughter, Debbie
02/19/00
If tears could build a stairway,
And memories were a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven,
To bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say good-bye.
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know...
Author Unknown
I chose it because it was Daddy's favorite song...